The countdown begins

I feel better today. In fact I just took Emily out to get her some material to make some knot blankets. She is making a Dallas Cowboys blanket for her dad for his bday. That should keep her busy for a few days too. She also wanted to make Jude one. Well Jude is now so low my belly actually feels a little flatter.........of course it isn't because my pants still keep falling down! ha! Really nothing is more annoying then walking through the store and your pants won't stay up because the pants will no longer fit over your big belly. Also, what's with all the cellulite we retain on our legs and butt in pregnancy? Whew, that's got to go soon! I am a walking fat storage machine....eeek! I think I have most everything packed for tomorrow, but I need to go through everything again. Ok so I check in tomorrow at 5pm for my cervix softner, CBC check, and Iv's I will need. If needed they then start the induction Tuesday at 5am. So lil Jude will be here soon. I was driving home a minute ago, and it just became a reality that I just don't know what condition he will be in when born. I think he will be just fine and normal which is the way I should think, but you cannot help wondering. I have said from the start when they told me to terminate that he was going to prove them wrong!!! Well everyone we will post info and pics as soon as possible!

Day --- of my captivity

So my captors want to torture me by feeding me this horrible medicine. I think they sit and think up things for me....lol. jk

I am at home today. I was going to take Emily out and go walk, but I feel 100% drained for some reason. Like it's hard for me to walk around, but I am not sure what is causing it. I am not having anymore contractions that I can tell just an aching back.

Emily is making a blanket for Jude, and Mike is upstairs painting. So I guess we are having a nice quiet day at home.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Update ~ I slept a lot today which is unusual with the prednisone, but good!!! I still feel cruddy and my back hurts. Plus I am having contractions. I am rather convinced now that even if I didn't go in Monday night that labor would be imminent. Mike finished painting the upstairs room. I am lucky that I have a lil contractor that can change the look of an entire room for the price of a gallon of paint in less than a day! It's Dallas Cowboys blue and very cute. He has so many jobs he needs to catch up on for people.........so don't think we have forgotten you. It's just been crazy around here.

Pissy platelet pants

So today was my scheduled appointment to go see the blood doctor to see if the platelet level had dropped again even though they increased the steroids. As many of you remember I was upset the other day that my OB would not induce because my platelet level was starting to drop again. Therefore, her treatment was to check me today, and she assured me there shouldn't be any issues because they had increased my dosage of oral medication, but if it had dropped they would do an IV of steroids. I didn't like the idea of the IV because this is a category C drug we are dealing with, and there is something telling me there is something else going on anyway. I was the one that asked her if this could be ITP from the start and she "didn't think so". When the specialist came in sure enough it was. So I get to the dr today and the regular hematologist I see is out. So the nurse took my blood and ran a full CBC. My platelets had indeed dropped again! So since last week they are now down from 167k to 122k which is still in a safe range..........so common sense to me? I would think check me in today, administer the steroids, and let's get the show on the road we are 2 days from 38 weeks (my ticker is off). This to avoid them going to 70,000 again. Anything below 100k can be an issue. So I explain to the nurse that I would prefer to speak to my Ob before they administer the Iv. I then call Mike who immediately leaves and comes to meet me. I then paged my dr who calls back. I explain that the platelets dropped again and that my concern is I was becoming steroid resistant and they would continue to fall by Monday when I am being checked in. She basically said she wasn't going to induce the 2 days early! I explained my fears and that the blood office seems to have a different attitude about it all. Anyway, after me bawling my eyes out, expressing my concerns, etc she still refused. So we went back in to talk to the blood dr prior to the delivery of the IV. He was the on call dr and came in and sat down and was very nice. He looked at my charts and expressed the same concern that the platelets are steadily going down. He said his concern is this may no longer just be an ITP issue but HELLP or the beginning of pre eclampsia. He then asked why my dr wasn't inducing today.................UM GOOD QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said he was going to call her and express his concern. He came back into the office and said "well goodness she was mad and went off on me". He mimicked her and said (in a mad womans tone) "I am not inducing a pre term baby". He said he told her "this is NOT a pre term baby and this baby has had enough steroids to avoid any issues if you are that concerned do an amnio and check the results but this girl needs to be delivered". Basically she refused. So we are just STRESSED beyond belief and hoping the platelets don't fall further over the weekend, and that this isn't anything else more severe (like this isn't severe enough). If the the platelets fall to avoid me bleeding out, etc the Ob said she would administer Iv steroids every 8 hours until they are up then wait 2 days and deliver. My family is mad, I am mad, etc! I think it's the WRONG decision. I even called the perinatlist who said "I don't want to get in the middle, but SOME doctors would do an amnio and get you delivered today! Yet here I am feeling held captive and unless I go into labor there isn't anything I can do except disagree. Oh also my RBC is down, HCT down, etc. I am stressed and the poor baby is flipping around. I am just emotionally DONE!

Dr appt

Hey guys I have tried that suggestion....lol! What are you guys suggesting anyway this baby was immaculate conception I have never had sex before...ha ha. Well I went to the dr today, but I was scheduled with the nurse who I love. Anyway, she said I am 2cm, 70% effaced, have blood in my urine, and the placenta is aging. Which means.............anyday! She said she heard about the platelet issue, and then said if I start contracting again over 2 hours to go in because I am progressing now! HOORAY!

I am going to the accupuncturist/chiropractor to try to get this going full force. It seems Jude wants to take his time and spread this out over weeks.

Now Dear Lord please let Jude be normal and healthy!

Wed

I am laying rather low today because I am rather disappointed with yesterdays results with the doctor. I feel like they believe I am just a woman that wants her baby out, and that is not true. I could be assuming that is what they think though, but if my platelets have fallen again on Friday I am not going to be happy. I am looking at three different Iv's within the next few days and it's very discouraging. All these steroids cannot be good for me, or for Jude! I don't like foreign stuff pumped into my body. I could never be a drug addict because I just cannot stand it. I also don't want to be put under in case of a c section either though because I really want to hear Jude cry. I want to know that he is ok. I feel like I am being held prisoner by my dr, and for the first time just do not agree with her thought process. Maybe I will go into labor before Friday, and can avoid all this.........but I doubt that. I have another Ob appt tomorrow so I will update once I go in.

Update

Ok Mike actually called and spoke with Dr Moser because I had not heard back from her office, and he wanted to clarify everything going on. Dr Moser stated her plan is to do the IV steroids. Mike then asked "What if she comes in Friday and the platelets are way down?". She said that she truly believes the Iv's will work and their plan of attack is to "pump me full". He then explained that is really not something I wanted to do because I have had so many other meds put into me. She said at this point it's really not a choice. She then explained she really wanted to give Jude a few extra days to ensure his lungs are mature, but also said if I go into labor she isn't stopping it. I contracted last night and I think I truly made more progress. Maybe this isn't anything to be concerned over, but it is weighing on my mind. I am just ready for Jude to be here safe and sound then all my medical issues will end! Oh and my cousin made and awesome looking trifle today and I want some..lol!

Blood dr appt ~ not so great

I went to see Dr Jordan today who I think is fabulous. She is kind, gentle, and really takes her time to explain the situation to you. So they did labs and she came in and said my platelets dropped by 30,000 points...sigh. That was not the information I was expecting to hear from her days away from my delivery. She said I do seem to be steroid responsive so she "thinks" she can treat this. She then states "although, your level is still at 130,000 and it would be ideal if you delivered today or tomorrow". I told her I would be calling Dr moser to dicuss the possibility of inducing early to avoid any potential issues. She said if she doesn't induce her level of treatment will include IV's of steroids on both Friday and Monday. Yet when I went to check out they explained that they would be closed on Monday due to the holiday. I am assuming they will then just go with the bag of steroids that night in the hospital. Her concern is not that my level is at 130k right now, but that it dropped and could be the sign of a "trend". If the level gets under 100k that means no epidural, possible transfusions, and being put to sleep in the case of a c section which is just all unacceptable! So I put a call into my dr to discuss doing this induction sooner. Although, I fully expect her to say that's not a possibility due to hospital policy which in turn I will ask for a reassurance that my platelets will in fact go up or stabilize. If they cannot guarantee that then I am rather frustrated and I think we should take action. Also, I am still waiting on the results of my potassium level and other blood work. So basically I am just waiting on phone calls back today. Oh and last night I contracted a lot so I think we are very close anyway.

Monday

Dear Jude,

You have officially been evicted if you do not vacate the premises within 6 days you will be forcibly removed

Love Mom! :)

Ok so I went to the dr today and she said I have made progress (hooray!!!). I am officially a full cm and about 80% effaced which is awesome. Of course, I could stay like that for weeks, but I have been pretty crampy so she seems to think it could be the start of things. We shall see! Regardless we know he will be here by Tuesday. They ran more blood tests, liver enzymes, etc on me but we won't have those until tomorrow. I see the blood dr tomorrow anyway and then Thursday is out LAST ob appt prior to delivery. They even sent my records over to the hospital. So wish me luck :). I am hoping that since this pregnancy has been so difficult that the delivery will be easy.

Em went to meet the teacher today and she loves her new teacher. Also, one of her friends from her other school has moved a long with her and sits next to her in class. I was thrilled when we walked in and saw her!

Hope everyone has a good day!

Here is a picture of the lil man. He looks just like his dad!!!

Sunday

Well Jude has been a little quieter today. Poor little guy if I don't feel him I push on my tummy I am sure he is wondering why Earthquakes keep rattling his home. So I love my bath time and everyone that knows me personally knows it's my me time, my quiet time, my haven. Anyway, so I was in there soaking earlier and reading my People magazine. Yes, I read People and from the front to the back...no joke. So I get to the back cover, and I see a picture of Celine Dione in a gorgeous short mini dress. I am not personally a fan of hers or not, but I did notice she looked stunning in this dress. I thought to myself that I wanted to get one like it in my size six with pretty high heels to match. Then hit the town with a gorgeous tan and enjoy a night with my husband. Then reality woke me up so I put the magazine down, and hoisted my whale of a self out of the tub by hanging on to the bath faucet for support and pulling.....sigh. It's all worth it though and I will get back to normal again. I do laugh about pregnancy sometimes though, and truly need to read Jenny McArthy's book. Everyone tell me we share similar view points...lol. I can tell you that even though I think they keep the rough parts of pregnancy secret that at least we have the right to talk about it. If my grandmother was still alive and you mentioned cervix, mucus, or enema she would have had a coronary and passed away right then! God Bless her little soul she cracked me up. I grew up with her from age fourteen on, and her way of dealing with anything was NOT to discuss it and push it under the rug. I laugh to myself thinking about asking her about the "bloody show". No she was a funny lady though! Once she told my cat to get out from behind the tv because he was going to get "executed". Emily has meet the teacher very early tomorrow morning so I plan on trying to go to sleep early. Oh and I have been nesting this weekend like CRAZY! I have rearranged chairs, moved decorations, asked hubby to paint a bathroom, etc etc. So we shall see if that means anything. I have a dr appt with my Ob tomorrow so I will update after that. I really want to put the 4d up Misty and Everyone but I dont have a scanner here :(. If I have a chance tomorrow I will run by my work if I am not to tired.

Saturday

For some reason I cannot sleep which may be due to the steroids. I woke up at 4:30am today and was never able to go back to sleep so that is rather annoying. I am spending a quiet night at home though and that sounds very nice. Mike is upstairs playing games with a friend and I am just hanging out watching TV. Jude is wiggling around and has been a lot of the day today. Em is with her dad, but we did have her softball round up today and met her coach. Our favorite coach moved to a select league in Southlake, but change is good. So I am trying to figure out Emily's schedule with us being in the hospital, delivery, etc. I wish he would have come prior to her starting school, but unless it happens today this lil boy is coming after his sister starts school. So I have to have someone drop her off, etc. I am sure I will find someone though and she is such a sweet girl. Well as I type Jude has the hiccups again! So really only a week and we will get to see what Jude looks like and get to learn about his situation if he has one at all. It's been a pretty crazy week this week. Seems I am a bit like Eeyore because I have a rainy cloud over me. For instance today on our way to the softball round up my tire burst and split in two......sigh! Honestly, though my hubby gets on to me saying I am Snow White because I always have an everything will be ok attitude. I just told him I don't see why u should get so upset over things. I mean I definitely do my share of griping, but beyond that it doesn't do much good to waller in sorrow. Pick yourself up and figure out how to make things better. The good side of it I have money set aside for maternity leave and therefore the tire can be fixed. The medical bills can always be paid out, and everything eventually will work out!

Dr appt

Well I was right he is LOW! I was measuring 39 weeks last appointment and this week I am only measuring 36. I have actually dropped from 40 originally so he has moved down a lot. I am not progressing though except for Jude moving down, and into position. I got a 4d sonogram of him today, and he looks exactly like his daddy!!! My word, he is 100% HIS child. Everything else looked good for a change. I even got all my instructions on being admitted to the hospital with the lovely direct orders not to eat. I don't really understand that completely because we need energy to give birth, but granted I did throw up with Emily. So my grandmother asked me today if they were able to look at Jude's head. I was able to see him on the sonogram and he looked pretty normal. The blunt conversation is though that we just won't know if Jude is "normal" until he is born. The NICU team has been notified and they know what to look for. I am sure they are planning to whisk him away for awhile, but I plan on asking if he can stay with us if he is breathing normal, etc which i fully expect him to. Then we can do the sonograms on his brain. He looks very cute in utero though and just a beautiful baby. Emily held out well today too.........which is a feat in itself since it was a 2 hour doctor visit today. I took her to get some breakfast afterwards and that made her happy. I am now hanging out on the couch and the dishes are just going to have to wash themselves because I am pooped.
Oh and Dr Moser said I lost weight again today?!?! She asked if I have been eating ok. I said "Um everything in SIGHT". My guess is Jude is doing some catching up and is taking in a lot of the food I am eating. I am off to nap!

Baby dropped

Boy and did he drop my stomach looks a lot flatter. In fact he dropped so low while I was walking that he got the hiccups and well I felt them down LOWWWWWWWWW. Which I must admit is a rather strange feeling. I am afraid I could not properly describe it for men to understand..lol! Jude has been moving around like crazy today. I am convinced he wants to come out too. I have a dr appt tomorrow so I will update after that.

Tuesday

Well I am pretty sure lightening came through my house this morning and struck me in the back. No really............about 6am BOOM ............ OUCH..............WHAT THE HAY? Anyway, so I had contractions off and on all night and they got very strong about 6. Now they seem to be gone again for the moment (perplexed look), but my back is really hurting from them. At this point I am praying for pain..ha! So since I am awake from them I am up on the computer and watching some Tv this morning, and Luanne is right the Olympics are on any time of day! I have a blood dr appointment at 8:30, but I am thinking it might be wise to reschedule for Thursday the same day as the ob. Mike had to go to work this morning and with the contractions I really don't want to drive alone with Em in the car. I am sure the doctor will understand because they told me not to drive initially. So I love watching baby birthing shows and wedding shows and always have. I am currently watching a baby delivery show with a woman trying to have a natural birth without drugs and I swear she is beating the holy bejesus out of her husband...it's rather comical. So they won't actually induce me on labor day they are just giving me the meds I need (for the platelets) although they will give me some cervical softener. They won't actually induce until 9/2 at 5am. I am hoping I start to really dilate prior to that to a 2 or 3 before labor day so they won't have to use the softener oh and I will be at Baylor again. I haven't discussed my labor with Em, and even though each one can be different they can also mimic each other which is seems this one already is in a way. With Emily I lost my MP on Friday and had small contractions throughout the weekend. On Sunday I started having regular heavy contractions, and went into L and D. I had a different dr at that point... a male dr... and after monitoring me he took the nurse into the hall and told her to send me home with 2 sleeping pills (this while being 2 weeks late 42 weeks preggo). I heard the nurse lean over and say "You want to send her HOME?? her contractions are 5 mins apart I don't care if she is only at a 1", but he still sent me home. So I MINDED the dr and went home and took the 2 sleeping pills...........BAD IDEA. I pretty much sat in my bath tub all night falling asleep and waking up to a shock of a bad contraction. I would refill the water to warm every half hour. So I finally called the dr at nine and told him I couldn't take it anymore...his response... "well those sleeping pills were enough to put a horse to sleep so if they didn't work I guess you are in active labor" (sigh). So he took me in and they got me all checked in. They gave me some pitocin and I slowly went to a 4 then they gave me an epidural. I finally felt like I could sleep so my husband and cousin went to go get some food. Luckily my cousin forgot her purse and came back in the room and that's when I said "I feel something". Within 20 mins I had fully dilated and Em was coming out. The nurse didn't believe me and when she lifted the blanket she started yelling "DON'T PUSH DON'T PUSH!!" She was out in two pushes! lol. It was a very event filled day. So we will see how Jude comes.

Oh and this is a bit how I feel lately just ask my hubby

Monday

I had a dr appt this morning with the Ob and everything went well. She is still unsure as to what is causing the pain in my abdomen, but the baby looks good. He was moving and breathing which is a good sign. They did say they think all the pre term labor was caused by the low potassium level. Don't get me started on the on call dr and my asking him about my low blood pressure........which low potassium causes. I feel like a lot of this mess could have been avoided! Anyway, the plan is if I don't have Jude within the next two weeks then I will be checked into the hospital on Labor Day. Which I am getting a HUGE laugh out of the fact that I am being checked in on that holiday. So they will start the meds I need including the steroids I need for the platelets. They will then induce me on the 2nd and we should have Jude!!! So basically just two more weeks. Then we will get to asses the situation with Jude, and we just pray he is a normal happy healthy baby!!!

Sunday

Today is the day of my husbands fantasy football draft which he is having here. Let me tell ya I am super excited about having people over today. I had those pains in my abdomen last night again, and they were so bad I would have a hard time rolling over. When I woke up feeling very weak too I decided I should probably take the antibiotic the dr had me on before. I just have a feeling that is what is going on. I am still annoyed the dr didn't listen to me on the phone. My cousin said "They never do so you have to have a plan or go in with a plan". Good point!!! Anyway, let me quit griping. So Em is Mike's sticker girl today at the draft and she already has her Dallas Cowboys jersey on......it's pretty cute. We are die hard Cowboys fans and I mean that. We watch Hard Knocks, preseason, have everyone over for regular season, etc etc. We have confidence in their team this year because the starter line ups look amazing. I am thrilled that Football season is starting. Well I have an OB appt tomorrow at 9:45 I will post again after the appt.

Ps

It's 7:15 and I am on mom strike. I am wondering how long it will take for my hubby, and kiddo to realize there has been no dinner yet. No one has asked or offered anything. Think they will get hungry? They have both been on the computers for hours. So I am on strike..lol. I am huge 9 mos preggo and I am on STRIKE. Picture me sitting in my chair holding a sign that says pregasaurus rex is on strike!

Saturday

Sometimes you wonder if people can truly understand what you are feeling at times. I guess that's why we are our own individual person. Between one soul today that really irritated me, and a dr I wanted to strangle I am on my wits end and may slap someone (ha). Anyway, I am on a tangent today I guess, and very hormonal. Luckily my cousin was there to vent to today. Here is the deal I am having sharp stabbing pains in my abdomen and have since yesterday, but at this point I was almost afraid to call the dr to ask her about it. Even though my issues have all been legitimate and ones THEY discovered in office or in the hospital it still makes you feel like a stupid ass to call and ask. So I have put up with the pain today, and just hoped that it wasn't an infection, or something else that would harm the baby. I had a tummy tuck awhile ago so it could be related to that......I don't think it is though because it doesn't feel like tearing or straining of muscles. So I did finally put a call into my dr, and yep I feel like a dumbass. I made it very clear to her that I would not be calling if it was contractions because I always contract. She just said "well then it's the kidneys or the gallbladder" Um you ARE NOT LISTENING! It's not ANYWHERE NEAR my kidney or gallbladder, and I wasn't some first timer calling you I have dealt with these pains coming and going for 24 hours now! So she then said she thinks it's just being "36 weeks preggo"...k! REALLY? Cause I have never known what it was like to be 36 weeks preggo before or for that matter shit 42 weeks pregnant (Em)....talk about uncomfortable. (yes that was a very smart alec comment) Oh and not to mention let's see the Er at 18 weeks thought my low platelet level was "no big deal being and nothing to worry about", and my recent yeast infection according to her nurse was "just some red spots and nothing to worry about" was a big deal a few weeks later though. Not to mention the aggravation from the constant contractions, and Jude's high heartrate. I am beginning to lose faith in the medical community. I do like my dr, but sometimes I feel they are so rushed and have a listening problem. With as many patients as they get I can understand that it is hard to be patient, and understanding with each one especially someone with such a high risk case like mine. Then again this is someones life you are messing with!!! You know what though and whats so frustrating? She may be right it may be nothing.... it may be nothing to be concerned over. My heartrate is over 115 though again today, I am sweating like a pig, and I have these stabbing pains every few mins. So if it is an infection and I have yet diagnosed myself again I will be PISSED! Do I want to go in and get checked? No not really... so see my confliction? I want to be pissy, but not go in anyway...lol. I am a handful today. She basically told me I could go in and they could "hook me up all over again". Ok LOOOOOOOOOOOK I am not the one that ASKED to be hooked up before you people gave me no choice as you walked me FROM YOUR OFFICE to the hospital and checked me in! They were the ones that diagnosed my pre-term labor. She also said she would not deliver me....um I never asked you to! I feel like something is wrong....my maternal instincts are telling me that something is wrong. Anyway, I am pressed to the max I guess. My anxiety level about the baby has actually been pretty good before this I have just accepted things how they are. I have anxiety about my job, but other than that I am ok. It's been nice spending some time alone with Emily so even though I get bored it's been nice. Do I sit and wish that I had a normal pregnancy where right now I would just be waiting and hoping for a smooth delivery? Of course, but life ain't always fair chicka. I am feeling Jude move for the most part so that is reassuring to me. Oh MYYYYYYYYY My Angel cat just fell from the top of the balcony in our house?!?!?! She landed on her side? Don't they land on their feet? Em has her wrapped up in a blanket nursing her. She seems ok but that was sure a LOUD hiss and meow!

Friday Night

So Em has her little cousin over, and I am on the couch wondering what we should do for dinner. I do have a funny and very personal story to share. Seeing how this is a personal blog I feel comfortable telling everyone this because it should at least make you laugh. So earlier I had to go to the bathroom, you know for the 100 millionth time today, so I make my way to the potty area. Suddenly as I sit down and I get this excruciating pain down my booty and through the back of my leg. I am figuring it was my sciatic nerve, and at this point I am paralyzed!!! It hurt so bad I honestly couldn't even stand up. After attempting to stand up several times and realizing it just wasn't going to happen...I roll myself off the porcelain God and prop myself against the wall. I am standing there thinking to myself "Oh Lord please let this go away my husband CANNOT find me in here with my pants down in agony!!". So slowly I try to pull my pants up to no avail, and I realize I am stuck. I am now bouncing between tears and laughter. All I can think is that if my cousin or Sarah M were there they wouldn't be able to help me either because they would be on the floor laughing their butts off. So finally the pain released a little so I could maneuver my pants up. I then hear Emily outside my door and I think... I AM SAVED! So I call for Em who looks at me very concerned and goes and gets my husband. I am sure he wanted to laugh, but instead he helps me to the bed where I can lay down until the pain subsides. I then layed there and laughed out loud to myself for awhile, and of course had to text both Sarah's and admit my guilt.
On a different note I was watching Special Deliveries today and there was a woman who's baby decided to turn transverse during delivery. The doctor came out and to the camera said "You can deliver a normal baby, even a breech baby, but no amount of laboring will let you deliver a transverse baby without a c section it will kill them". I started thinking about how dangerous childbirth was back before our medical progress. Of course, I do still think our science has at times has exceeded our humanity, but still. I think as Americans we are sometimes under the impression that pregnancy is all rose petals, and baby powder smells and that's not always the case. We innocently believe that nothing can ever go wrong, and that if it does we will always be ok. Unfortunaltey, there are a lot of women out there that experience horrible losses, difficult times, and stress beyond belief and I find them courageous and in my prayers. Which made me reflective again on the past and how scared some women must have been back in "the old days". A transverse baby back in the 1500's meant death for sure, and just think they didn't even KNOW about pre-eclampsia, etc. It must have been a scary, but glorious time to be pregnant in those days. Don't even get me started on Anne Boelyn.........poor chick lost her head for not conceiving a boy. Anyway, there is my rant for the day......with humor thrown in. Have a great weekend everyone.

Friday

It's Friday!!!! I like Fridays because that means Mike gets to stay home with me for two days. I miss my work again today, and would like to be there. Poor girls up there I am always hunting for people to talk to..lol. Anyway, the storms kept me awake last night and the dogs!!! So I slept in a bit this morning. I was having cramps vs contractions last night, and was hoping that it meant something. Although, when I got up this morning low and behold I was still pregnant..ha! Jude has been active today which makes me happy!! I asked my cousin what she planned on doing this weekend and when she said nothing I told her I am planning to climb Mt Everest..:). I am going to try to get Em to go outside and play today. Poor girl is bored in here. She has done lots of crafts but I know she has to be tired. It seems my cats are in war over something so I will have to see what their issue is. I am sure it's a battle over a milk top, or a twist tie. My cat angel has a strange talent of being able to untwist the twist ties on bread sacks and they become her play toys. Maybe I should take her to America's pets have talent!

additional update

Well the wonderful chiropractor worked!!! Jude is officially head down so now without any other surprises I can still have him naturally! I am on a horse pill for a potassium supplement. Also the doctor said Jude's heartbeat is still running high at 176, but that she doesn't see any cause for it. Therefore, she will just keep a watch on him twice a week. She said she knows the contractions suck, and offered me pain meds. No thanks. So I am trying to make it another two weeks and then we will see Jude for sure!! Unless someone knows how to break your water at home? ha!!! We did see Jude and he is so long his legs are all scrunched up. It was pretty cute.

Thursday

I went to the blood dr this morning and my platelets are up again which is awesome! I got cut back on the steroids, but she will still check me each week to make sure they are staying up. The blood dr also laughed that they took out my trebutaline pump and the baby has hung in there. They did call back when I got home and said my blood work was "wonky". I said "wonky??". The nurse said it's a medical term and laughed, but he said my potassium level has gotten very low. Could explain why I felt like poo last night. So I am getting a supplement and I just ate a banana :). I contracted until after midnight last night, and I am pretty tired so I plan on taking a nap today. I see Dr Moser at 2 and will post her update. I believe they are doing a stress test on the baby today. Hope everyone is well.
Emily is sitting here beside me keeping me company with her cat Scooter. Scooter is a black and white big piece of poo! ha. He basically is the best cat ever and let's Emily do whatever she wants to him. He is the only cat I have ever seen let a kid dress him up like a baby and be 100% still as she pushes him in a stroller. He also sleeps on his back like a dog which is in itself hilarious to see.

Wed Night

Well I have had contractions today since about 3pm, and it's now 10:42pm. I am beginning to think this is a cruel joke in some form or fashion. They are running about 3-5 mins apart and don't feel well at all. So is it labor? Probably not! So all I can do is find the humor in it and laugh. Em and I stayed home all day today and she was a good little girl. Tomorrow I have two doctor appts the blood specialist, and the ob. So I will let you guys know what they say. My bags are packed for the hospital though, and Jude has his cute little outfit to wear home. I will be happy when we get to put him in it and show everyone pictures!

Tuesday

I went and saw a chiropractor today to try to turn Jude's position. It was a very interesting visit ,and I really liked the lady I saw a lot. She used some adjustments, and then some heat acupuncture. It was amazing that when she put the heat up to a certain point on my toe Jude immediately started moving. So we will see if this does the trick! I believe he has gone transverse again instead of head down. I didn't sleep well last night, but I think that is just attributed to being huge, and pregnant all women experience this. I am missing my work a lot, and being active up there. I love being with Emily, but I am so used to being busy all day long that you miss it when you are gone. I am starting to receive a small trickle of large medical bills........UGH! Our total out of pocket is going to be $4k which isn't as bad as it could be. We will take our time and pay them as we can. Luckily the doctor's and facilities are very understanding. Jude is currently moving around so I can only hope the adjustment worked. I have to lie with my hips above my head today which is suppose to help him turn around. I will know on Thursday if he does indeed move. If he does I am all for let's get this going before he flips again! Any suggestions? lol. I was reading up on the platelet issue last night, and I am still wondering if Jude doesn't have some form of this. It said that 10% of all babies that have an ITP issue develop a brain bleed prior to 20 weeks gestation. That fits our case. I know the NICU team will be standing by when he is born so I am sure they will check him. I am ready to see him though! I am ready for our lives to return to normal with our new member of our family! In fact I am ready for the following:

1. To hold Jude in my arms for the first time and see what he looks like
2. To lie with my husband at night without feeling like a gianormous whale!
3. To never have to worry about Iv's and needles again...well in the near future anyway
4. To finally know the outcome of Jude's good condition or other condition
5. To go back to work and earn money!
6. To no longer be out of breath from going upstairs
7. To work out again!
8. To not have to worry so much about making ends meet
9. To have a glass of wine with my friends and family
10. To just be relieved of any stress of the impending labor, delivery, issues, non issue, bills, etc.

Well I am off to find some lunch and sit with my hips up!!! ha ha ha. The good news is that since he has been breach my contractions are not near as frequent or intense. So if he gets head down again I am betting labor will come on, but we will see!

doctor updates

I went to the blood doctor first and my platelets have risen again to 158k!! That's great news. She said my WBC was a little high, but that could just be from the steroids. I then went on to the Ob who talked to me about my hospital stay. I told her I wasn't very happy with the on call doctor and she said she understood. She said he really didn't want to have to deliver me because my case was so complicated. That's understandable and sometimes people just conflict. She did say that I am 60 % effaced.....but Jude is breech again. OF COURSE! The lil stinker! So they scheduled a c section for 9/2, BUT I am going to try to see if a chiro I know cannot help change his position. She did say if he changes position prior to that date they will let me have him naturally. Jude's heartbeat was also still running a little high, but she said she thinks that could be the medicine still wearing off. They are going to check on him 2 times a week now. So I am just hanging out again at home, and am ready for this baby to come........and a glass of wine!

Sunday

Welp it's Sunday and we are hanging out. I am watching Never Been Kissed which is a great movie. Anyway, I am feeling pretty decent today. I contracted a lot last night, but I swear I am getting used to it. I see the blood specialist tomorrow, and will probably see Dr moser. So I will update with results, but I am sure everything will be fine. I am confident of it now anyway! I am trying that positive thinking thing again.... :). Have a great Sunday everyone.

Sat follow up

I actually ventured out today. I am still suppose to be on bedrest and will watch myself, but I figured going to eat would be ok. My hubby dropped me at the door and it was nice to get out of the house. Plus, my body feels so much better without this medicine being pumped into it every hour. I am now on the couch again. I would honestly like to try to work part time next week, but I doubt that would be a good idea. Anyway, just had to say I got some fresh air! I am counting the hours to get Emma Roo back! hooray

Contractions

Well last night I started the contractions again and didn't sleep very well. Um if it's not making any progression this just SUCKS. Anyway, I also lost my mucus plug which I know sounds nasty but people that read my blog get the honest truth. The on call doctor yet again argued with me and told me he thought I was just seeing "stuff" from the internal exam. Um I have been through this before and I know EXACTLY what an MP looks like and trust me that's what it was. I hate it when Doctors don't listen to you. Then again he wanted to give me mag sulfate when it wasn't in my best interest either. I am so ready for my doctor to come back. I am doing pretty well though. The only thing that is concerning me is I am just not feeling Jude move as much as I normally do. I am afraid the contractions are starting to get to him. Then again it may just be my imagination because of everything else. I got pretty emotional last night laying in bed because I was mushing my stomach and he just would not move. I finally felt a little flutter so I went back to sleep. I am pretty tired of dealing with this and my emotions are taking over. I am going to venture out of the house today if I feel like it. Jude needs some booties and onsies before he gets here.

Home

We are at home! I have had a bath and I feel much better than I did. I am still very tired, but my mood is better. So the on call dr was trying to tell me how to really watch for labor. I was basically going to watch for um........well bleeding (tmi) and go. He said NO NO if your contractions are severe like they were this morning and don't let up you come in or you will be a home delivery. So Mike is reading up on delivering a baby at home. lol. At this point I am very tired, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Plus Em comes home Sunday! Only thing I wish I had is a little heart monitor for Jude. Other than that I am pretty confident everything will now go fine. I am trying to de-stress so I am not such a wench to my hubby and am pleasant on the phone. I am off ALL the medication except my steroids and my body feels so much better.

What day is it?

It has been a SUCKY morning! I honestly had contractions like the ones I had when they GAVE me my epidural with Emily. Wanna know what they can do? Nothing! They cannot induce me yet, and I have been labeled a "constant contractor". The dr just came in and said that they have 2 or 3 cases of this a year........of course. Anyway, so I can either go back on meds to stop them, wait it out to see if they do anything, or take pain meds. I don't really like ANY of those options. Having this baby is the option I would like it's just not one right now. On top of that I am in the worlds WORST mood and have not answered my phone. So if anyone is calling I am just pissy! The good news is Jude's heart rate has stabilized so he is looking "beautiful" as they say. A beautiful baby has a great heart on the monitor. I am also about to strangle my poor husband so we will see if he makes it out of here. I have the option to go home later which I will probably take them up on. They are checking me 1 more time at 5 to see if there is any progress and then if not I can go home. Then it will pretty much be a guessing game on when I am in labor. The dr said he had 1 other patient that did this same thing this year and he had to induce her on her due date. That she had regular horrible contractions that did nothing until he made the baby come out. On a good note I have very nice nurses here, and they seem to be very attentive. It's nice to have a good support line going when you are in pain.

Back in the hospital

Well let me lay down the events for you. Yesterday I had not monitored like I was suppose to until about 3pm. I had actually slept some, etc and so I finally put the monitor on when the nurse called looking for my results. She measured six contractions in the hour. Which honestly I didn't think was that big of a deal. She had me take my pulse but it was to high to administer any of the medication that stops my contractions. So I drank a glass of water, rested on my side, and went through the same steps they teach you when you have pre term contractions. She then had me re monitor and I had 8 contractions, higher blood pressure, and a faster pulse. So guess where I got sent? Yeppers back to Labor and delivery. At this point Ms thang here has HAD it with going up to the hospital. So I get here and my contractions are every few minutes and exceeding the thresh hold, but again I know they probably aren't true labor. Doesn't mean they don't hurt they just don't open my cervix (which they had a little but just barely). So then I talked to my cousin and a few people on the phone, and WHAM! I got horrible, nasty, I want an epidural NOW contractions. The baby's heart rate soars to almost 200, my blood pressure drops, etc. The nurses are running around like mad, and trying to locate Jude's heartbeat on the monitor. It was a MESS! They tried to give me mag sulfate and I refused! I think that's a nasty chemical and not meant for us. So my heart rate and his finally go down enough to administer two doses of the tebutaline. I am still contracting and this went on about two hours. Finally, everything either kicked in or calmed down and I stabilized. I still contracted which is normal, but not like I was. So I wound up in a room. This morning the on call dr once again tried to administer mag sulfate and I again refused. So at this point they have no taken the pump out of my leg, and are not giving me anymore meds. They gave me the choice of no meds, or trying something else. I said none. So then I get to see the perinatilist who was super nice!!! He said he didn't like the baby's heart rate again today and they would be keeping a close watch on it. He also said he thinks I should stay off all meds that stop pre term labor because they would do more harm than good at this point. It made me feel very reassured that I know my body and the baby's and that I stood up for myself last night and said no! He said he would inform the on call dr that if something happens we need to get delivered, and they have put the NICU team on standby. He did reassure me that Jude looks good and there is no cause for alarm right now. So basically at this point whatever happens happens and is meant to happen! Mike has been great and stayed with me all night again. The perinatilist did say I had to be here at the hospital for my labor, not laboring at home for awhile like I did with Em. He said I need an iv of steroids for the platelets. Anyway, so basically we are just waiting for Jude to make his debut which may be today, or 3 weeks from now. Who knows!

Doctor update

Well the steroids worked. My platelets doubled and went up to 145,000! I am thrilled because this means if surgery is necessary I will be ok. It also means I can have an epidural, and any internal bleeding should be a very rare event. I am thrilled!!! This means I did have ITP for sure, which sounds bad but is a relief to me because it explains everything. So they are keeping me on the meds and bed rest until I deliver. My blood pressure was a little elevated, my potassium was low, and B12 was low, but besides that I looked PERFECT!!!!!!!!! HOORAY!!!!!!!! Now we just have to wait to see Jude on Thursday.

Tuesday

I have a doctor's appt at 8 so I am sitting here waiting to go get ready. I slept a little better last night. I almost got very frustrated again last night and thought of getting up and just coming to watch TV again. I didn't though and I eventually fell asleep. My pump started beeping about 5:30 though so Mike got up and put the new medication in. My poor hubby.......he is my nurse, chef, etc. I am also one sexy hot mama right now you know in my pj's I wear, little makeup, and huge belly. Not to mention to lovely body noises you have when you are preggo! I don't know how he resists me at this point :). Jude has been up for about the last forty five minutes. He is wiggling in my tummy which normally suggests he is hungry so I have eaten a bagel and my skim chocolate milk. I seem to have a huge thing for the chocolate milk. Anyway, he is getting more vocal....well moving anyway when he is hungry. I saw Lisa's post that she just contracted and would trick the monitor. Which is funny to hear because I put off the monitoring as long as possible. My threshold is 4 in one hour before the vampires try to give me an additional dose of medicine to stop the contractions. I told them it should be more like 8 for me. So if they tell me to take the extra dose I have been known to just wait it out to see if the contractions stop......naughty me! My body really feels done with the pregnancy though. I want what is best for Jude, but I am truly just tired. My right side is swelling up which I would think would be the issue with the gallbladder. I could go on and on. Not much longer though and I just hope again that he is ok.
So I am a bit stressed on Emily changing schools due to our move. I think it will be good for her because she will meet girls in the neighborhood, but still. I hate taking her away from her friends at Lakeview. I guess like Mike pointed out the good thing is when she goes to JR High she will know all the kids from both schools. She is miss social butterfly so it will be good for her. She will be riding the bus home which is a big deal for her. I will be here during my maternity leave and then Mike will be here to meet her each day. She is also about to enroll in a little gymnastics school up the road to see if she likes it. She has been begging to do that. Also, she still LOVES her softball, but so far the city has not sent anything about sign ups again. I will post more once I get my platelet results today.

Monday

Well I am sitting here monitoring myself which I have to do twice a day. The contraction monitor straps around my tummy and then after an hour I plug it into a fax line. It transmits my results to nurses who call back with the results. I don't really understand this because I would think one can feel if they are having contractions. The nurse explained though that some people don't feel them they just dilate and the next thing they know they are having a baby. Um yeah that's not how my life works buddy...lol! Are there really women in the world this happens to??? Anyway, regardless I have to do this or they call me wondering where my monitoring is. Today was an ok day. I hung out on the computer, took a bath, moved from the bed to the couch, etc. I am really missing my Emily!!! I talked to her earlier and she sounds like she is really missing being here too, but she is having fun with her dad. So last night I got pretty sick to my stomach and could only sleep from 2-4:30. I am not sure if it's the steroids or my body getting ready to have Jude. I am hunting a good movie to watch. If anyone knows of any let me know. Oh and my cousin filled in at my job today, and it sounds like she really helped out. That made me very happy!!! I am so glad Sarah will get some help now. Have a great night everyone! Tomorrow I go to the blood specialist to see if my platelets have raised from the medicine. Hopefully this has happened. I will post after I go. Oh and on Thursday we get to see Jude again!

Sunday

My aunt and cousin came to see me today...HOORAY! My cousin brought me some color by pencil pages and I was enjoying them earlier. I would take a pic of my artwork, but my bad cat knocked my pretty pink camera off and broke it. Which is really irritating since it was my only digital camera. Anyway, I am again hanging out on the couch. I have had some contractions today, but nothing to bad. I did have some MAJOR lower pain when I stood up and I think it scared Mike a bit. Also, I am in a regular shirt today vs maternity because Jude has moved so low. Mike says he is going down the drain..ha! Anyway, my cousin and aunt said my color was much better today. I wasn't aware my color was off? Anyway, that is reassuring to hear though because to me that says this medication is working and increasing my platelets. I will find out Tuesday, but my bruises are getting better too. Well my lil slave Mikey is about to go grocery shopping he is such a good boy. I miss my work and I miss being with Sarah everyday. I know I probably won't even think about work when Jude is here.
** update** Poor Mike got home from the grocery store, and I think he had a lil melt down :(. He is having to do everything I normally do and I know it's so overwhelming. He hd to put stuff up, clean the cat litter, a glass broke, etc etc. It's hard for me to stay seated watching him upset too. I did too much the first time I came home from the hospital. I even took Em shopping for her school clothes at Justice and I shouldn't have. I felt so bad she was stuck in the house and had saved this money for her, but my butt should have been planted. It will all be over soon though. Anyway, I saw this poem today on one of my boards and I loved it. I thought I would share.
"A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earthtomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small andhelpless?"God said,"Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."The child further inquired,"But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but singand smile to be happy."God said,"Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."Again the child asked,"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to meif I don't know the language?"God said,"Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words youwill ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel willteach you how to speak.""And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"God said,"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.""Who will protect me?"God said,"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.""But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."God said,"Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you theway to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices fromEarth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."God said,"You will simply call her, "Mom." "

Sat night

I am a party animal let me tell ya! I am laying here with Mike watching "It's Me or the Dog" which I love by the way! That Victoria lady is a dod bad a$$. Anyway, I am better this evening I guess I needed a pissy pants party earlier. I laid down and took a mini nap today and it was good. Only issue is I get REALLY hot while I sleep from either the hormones or medicines. So I am pretty sure Mike may wind up in a parka soon. He came downstairs and said "It's FREEEEEEEEEZING" and I sat up in bed and was soaked in sweat. Nice picture huh? Well it's true and he just laughed. Well just wanted to say I know I was groaning earlier, but I am over my pity party. lol! Have a good night

Lonely

Well I could come on here and be all positive and sunshine. I would like to be, but honestly I am just lonely :(. I miss my friends and family, but who wants to come hang out with a sick person? I mean really...no one does and I don't blame them! So I am hanging out on the couch again watching TV and playing on my computer. Mike went and got me breakfast today and it was wonderful! Now he is upstairs playing his games. He escapes up there and I cannot follow him...ha ha ha! Anyway, Em has been sending me emails and calling me every night from her dads. She is so cute!!! I told her my toes miss her great paint jobs..ha! I have no idea but I have an obsession with watching Tori and Dean. She seems a lot more down to Earth than I thought she would be. Also, um there is nothing on the 500 channels I have!! Isn't that sad? Mike and I don't normally watch a whole lot of TV anyway. We do love Heroes, Entourage, and a few others but the premiers have not come on yet. Well I am going to open up all the blinds in the house and let some light in. I am looking at Jude's cute bassinet and I know he will be in it soon! I have to register Emmy for school some time next week. I am hoping they let Mike take her paperwork in. Everyone have a wonderful day.

Friday

Well it's Friday and I am currently lounged back on my couch. I have one of those recliner couches so it's perfect for me right now. I am having trouble sleeping on all these meds, but finally fell sound asleep this morning. Well of course, Tru Chem HAD to ring the doorbell and wake me up. To say the least I have a huge issue with the lawn man now...lol. Last night was ok though except my back started hurting really bad again while I was in bed. Oh and my aunt from Missouri is still in town and she came by last night. She brought me a chocolate cake which is very yummy! She also hired a cleaning lady to come to my house and I am very excited I just hope the cleaner doesn't get lost in dust bunnies. Everyone has been very supportive. My lil husband was just wonderful yesterday. I am thinking it's because the nurse 100% griped me out and told me to stay in bed! She said you can only shower and go to the bathroom but nothing else. So last night Mike cleaned up, cooked, cleaned the dishes and did some laundry. I think I will keep him around. I am bored at home because I am not used to just sitting around. I am a very active person and prefer to be on the go at all times. So this is very different for me and for my family. I am normally cooking, cleaning, working, etc. Sometimes people will kid that they want to just go home and sleep for a week, but trust me the Rumpelstiltskin routine is no fun. We still don't know why Jude keeps trying to come early because Emily was two weeks late. We aren't sure if it's from his issues, or if my body is just worn out. Thanks to everyone for the posts that they know people that had ITP. It is normally not an issue and you can manage it. I believe their only concern is delivery when it can become a serious issue so I trust they will get the platelets up. So I go back Tuesday for a recount of my platelets. The doctor will see if they have risen or fallen from the treatment and then decide her next course of treatment from there. Once I am at 36 weeks this pump comes out and I cannot WAIT! Next Thursday I go to see Dr Payne who will look at Jude again. My OB is out of town and she prefers with my case I see the other doctors instead of her nurses. My poor Ob she is probably just waiting to deliver this baby and get rid of me..:). She did say my case has been very unusual. Nothing about this pregnancy has been usual except the weight gain and cute baby inside. Oh note to self I must try out Luane's margaritaville after the delivery. I have also seen Definatley Maybe and I LOVED it! I cried at the part when he told his daughter the happy ending of his marriage that failed was her.....awwwwwwwww! So true so true. Jude has been moving around this morning which makes me happy. While kicked back in my recliner I am watching The Price Is Right I swear I feel like my grandmother she used to do this. I have to go monitor before the nurses call me complaining. I will write again tomorrow.

Ps. I did just get some news on Jude. His measurements at 33 weeks were as follows
BPD (head): 30.4
Head circumference: 31.5
Belly: 32
Thigh bone - 32.5

I was very concerned about the head because of his issues. The nurse said that as long as the baby grows by a week to two weeks per sonogram that's all they look for and he grew a week. Plus my sonogram wasn't quite 2 weeks before. So at least he is growing. She also said this far along the measurements can vary because all babies are different. He may just be a little small. I am keeping my hopes up. I cannot go all through this and Jude still have some serious mental retardation or illness. I would be very angry! Anyway, note to my cousin I want to be at your house swimming sipping on some wine....lol! We need a night like that after Jude is born :)