Tonight I decided to revisit my blog from earlier today. Although I am okay with Emily venturing out to her new path I am still very much her mom. I worried so much about her infection that I texted her to the point of being annoying last night and today. If you're a mom you will understand that worry you have for a child that's not feeling well. So I apologize to her director who is housing Emily until I can get there Thursday. Thankfully Emily reports that the prayers have worked and she feels much better!!! Regardless I panicked a bit but Emily did an amazing job of being a responsible older teen and keeping her dramatic mom in check.
Even though Emily has lived a life with little to want you can mark my words that she has lived a tough life. When Emily was 10 years old she was basically forced to grow up very quickly! I had to work to provide for our household while Mike stayed home with a baby that had seizures on a constant basis and a baby that refused to eat until he became tube fed. By the time Emily got home from school in the afternoons Mike was spent and frustrated. Yet Emily found a way to help and not take things to personal. This wasn't just through her charity but through Emily's character and heart. Luckily we gained our amazing nurses who helped Mike go back to work and Jude maintain a daily schedule. Emily became SO close to our nurses that Allan has been praying for her healing and abilities this week while nurse Candice sent out a hearty "YOU go girl!" I can hear her say that in her New Orleans accent and that makes me smile. As a teen Emily would venture home on summer nights just to talk to Jude's nurses and that speaks volumes about her character and about Jude's nurses.
I consider our life blessed that Emily decided to compete in pageants as a teen. I remember when she first started training for mental management and interview lessons, her teacher asked her to describe what it was like when Jude was diagnosed. Her teacher was sitting across the table from us and Emily got very quiet. I didn't speak I just simply watched her reactions and quietly Emily began to speak. She said, "My mom brought me home that night from the hospital and I remember everything was very dark and very quiet and she told me we needed to talk. That's when I realized my life would never be the same again. I realized my brother was very sick and that made me very sad." Her little head fell down when she was talking and her teacher looked at me in tears and we both had to regain our composure. We realized how much Emily was truly impacted by her brothers illness. At times I am sure Emily felt alone but somehow she never showed it and she never got angry or jealous of Jude. Emily never screamed wanting me to hold her when I was holding Jude because somehow she just knew he needed it more at that time. She had a strength about her that many of us lacked and she still does. When Jude passed she was flooded with this ability to help soothe us with her words about Jude and she was confident in everything she shared with us.
The other night when I was asking Emily practice questions for her pageant I asked her what her life's motto was and she replied, "Like Cinderella says, Have courage and be kind." I couldn't ask more than a child that believes in that saying. I have two amazing children! Both of which only seemed to make the world a better place and that may seem boisterous but it's true. Someone recently asked me if I moved away what I would have to take with me. In my mind I knew I would take my trunk with Emily's items but I replied, "Jude's boxes of shirts and his hand imprints." I think Emily felt a little left out but she didn't know she is automatically included in every decision I make.
As stated Emily is in West Virginia competing for Teen International and honestly I hope she remembers just how amazing she is and shows that to the judges. I think Emily would thrive traveling and meeting others to spread smiles and hope. One song I always share with her is Tim McGraw's, "Humble and Kind," and I think she lives like this song.
but I cannot help feel like this song is more fitting and I know your dreams are about to explode. Thank you for putting up with your mom who could direct a Hollywood feature because she is so dramatic. You're pretty amazing. Whether you win this event or not you have far exceeded any goals I had at your age. I am very very proud you!