Wednesday, March 25, 2015

It's Wednesday!

Jude had a rough afternoon yesterday and a rough over night. I could hear his alarms going off as I drifted in and out of sleep last night. I would come into the living room to check to see how Jude was doing and the nurse would explain he was just having a rough time. He finally went to sleep around 4am and the last I talked to Charlotte he was still sleeping. Looking back I wonder how we made it to work after being up with Jude until those wee morning hours for so many years. 

We are dealing with mixed emotions around my house regarding Jude, work, and life in general. I have little patience for rudeness and I am pushing things like forgiveness. Complete forgiveness.......that means no questions, no dwelling, and you walk away a better person. My friend said I have had an enlightenment. There are things I have found through this walk with Jude that are important. Being positive, complete forgiveness of others, finding the silver lining, being your true self,  complete honesty, and finding inner peace. 

Mike is not feeling well and has been struggling with his respiratory the last two days. He mentioned to me that it makes him sad knowing that Jude struggles so much more than he does. He even mentioned that he isn't sure why Jude keeps running this race. He didn't mean that derogatory but rather that he hates to see his son in pain. 

Mike has an interview tomorrow morning with his work for a better position. We would appreciate your prayers. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Laugh of the day

So it's perfectly fine but I had someone that seemed shocked I have been having headaches and now have developed borderline high blood pressure. Funniest comment of the day award in response: "Really because I am shocked you haven't developed a tick, freaked out, and grown two heads". 

Cracked me up! 

Hospice is coming to see Jude today. He is a happy camper but we are still having to keep him on pretty high oxygen levels. I will report tomorrow when I hear the hospice assessment. 

Monday, March 23, 2015

Blood pressure and Jude

Well it seems everything has finally caught up with me. I have high blood pressure. I'm upset about it because I used to be so fit. I have had heart palpitations but that is nothing new as I have always had benign palpitations. I walk each day, I take fish oil, and I drink my grape juice. All I can figure is the lack of sleep and constant stress have both finally found me. Short of quitting my job and staying home I don't see a solution but I will drag myself to the doctor anyway. I am thankful for doctors but I despise going. I think this means I may have to slow down..... So not my character. I'm going to have to relearn how to relax. 

Jude is still up and down. One minute he smiles and the next he struggles but he is a joy to be around. I held him again tonight for awhile and he was very happy! Right now he is sleeping peacefully. 

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Jude's Sunday

Jude still had intermittent fever and I'm not sure why. I have two guesses.... Bacterial walking pneumonia (again ) or he is cutting his back molars. I noticed they are coming in but Judes teeth never seemed to bother him before.  Some hours he is great and some hours he struggles. He is very pale with circles under his eyes but he fell asleep tonight in my arms and slept very well. 

Mikes mom is here to tonight bless her heart. She is very elderly and has pretty much given her entire life to servicing her children and making others happy. Tonight while I was holding Jude she just sat by him rubbing his foot and  bawled. Finally I grabbed her arm gently and said "Susie why are you crying? He is happy now and resting calmly". She said "I don't know I just love him". I said "me too but when you cry I get stressed and I bet that means you are stressed too. Let's look at this positive that God has given us extra time with Jude. He has granted us time to see how amazing Jude is and to love on him as much as we can without being sad". She just smiled and said "you are right and I thank God for that". Then I made up her little bed so she could stay the night and assured her if she hears Judes alarms overnight that we and the nurse would have it under control and not to worry. She said she would be sure to not get stressed but I know she will because she is basically a saint. 

Amazing people come into our lives for a reason!

Forgive misspells! Blogging on my
Phone is a challenge! 

Saturday, March 21, 2015

How is Jude?

Jude is up and down. We have a few fears about his health and its decline. His hands look puffy and his feet have a slight bluish tint. His urine has decreased along with his bowel movements. Our home health care nurse called hospice yesterday to inform them what is going on so they are sending a nurse by to evaluate Jude's condition. A few people asked me about antibiotics yesterday and this what I found out. If hospice feels he has an infection they will prescribe the antibiotics to keep him comfortable. They do not think it will change any outcome of any situation or any road we may be heading down. 

So the fear or better yet understanding of this situation is it looks like Judes kidneys may not be working properly. However Jude has not had a fever again since yesterday and he has a way of rallying and being okay. I will say Jude doesn't look well to me. When he is awake he is so stressed and in such pain we have to sedate him. He struggles to breathe and is hurting and cannot tell us where he is hurting. 

We are okay. We are actually all very positive around Jude and are doing all we can for him. We know again this could be days, weeks, or years. It's a matter of keeping Jude as comfortable as we can. Emily and a quick appointment today and then her father is taking her to his house. Mike and I will be here the whole weekend with Jude. 

Friday, March 20, 2015

Jude's sick

Jude is sick.........

His fever is 99.4 even with Motrin. He had a lot of apnea last night and a lot of retracting while breathing. 

This isn't good and it makes me sad. I am not sure if hospice will put him on antibiotics or not. I will wait to see. I really don't know more than that so if you ask I won't be able to tell you anything further. 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Apnea and the morning

Jude had a pretty rough early morning. I kept getting up and down because I was hearing his alarms going off. Around 6:30am I heard Jude gasping for air and having pretty severe apnea. I asked the night nurse to remove the cannula and put on his non re-breather mask. I think asked her to do a breathing treatment to see if that would help calm his respiratory down. After about 45 minutes and lots of re positioning his breathing finally returned to normal. However then he started having a few issues with his oxygen level. Luckily by 8am when Charlotte got there Jude was resting comfortable. 

I also noticed that last night Jude's cough seemed like it was deep and coming from his chest. Generally he just has thick throat secretions and the cough is quick and easy to control. Last night he would get choked up and have a hard time recovering from it. 

Hopefully today will be much better than his overnight.