The Cemetery And The Weekend

So last week wasn't an easy week and neither was the weekend. That's okay because things happen and if we don't learn how to pick ourselves up an wipe the dirt off we just continue to drown. Basically, the primary issue centered around a visit to Jude's grave at the cemetery. Mike went by and noticed that all of the items we have left for Jude had been removed from his site. Now, let me explain that we chose a rural cemetery for two reasons. We felt it was peaceful and serine like Jude but they were also more lenient regarding wreaths, plants, rocks, etc left at sites. Parts of my family are Catholic, parts are Methodist, parts are Jewish, etc. So we combine a menagerie of customs when it comes to Jude, one of which is leaving a rock on the headstone to symbolize a prayer. We had a small wire bird basket that held prayer rocks in it and rocks friends had decorated. We also had a Saint medallion that had hung on  Jude's bed for 7 years hanging on his headstone, we felt it was fitting. When Mike called me I was calm at first and then something just triggered my grief and I had the ugly cry. You know the one where you cannot catch your breath? 

Mike showed up at my office and assured me everything would be fine, they're just material items. He has a way of calming me down when it's most needed. I called the cemetery and found they had Jude's items in a box and had completed a "clean up" of the cemetery. We were grateful to have the items back but I was crushed that his medallion was missing. The facility explained they no longer allow rocks on headstones but I pointed out even the national cemetery allows rock in the symbol of prayer. We will see what happens but at least we have his items back and I understand that sometimes they have to clean up the areas. So we got everything in a box with the rules in a folder. Lovely. 

Skip to this weekend when I had to tackle four stores for items I needed. I actually walked out of two stores and forgot the same thing twice, sigh! Anyway, it's hard at the holidays to be in a store if you have lost a child. There is a multitude of feelings that become overwhelming as you walk through the aisle's laced with Christmas cheer. Seeing the little children with their families is both glorious or torturous all at the same time. You smile as the kids bump into you as you wipe small tears away at the same time. So I decided to buy myself a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, and head home to put up Christmas. I figured I would tackle the negative with positive. 

I then encountered a situation where I tried to do the right thing but it just didn't work out in my favor and that's okay. Sometimes that's the way life goes. So I found an interesting meme today that made my thought processes fire in all different directions. 

True that sometimes in some situations we just need someone to just listen to us without judgement or opinions. However, let's spin this saying another direction. Sometimes to help a friend all they need to do is listen. Sometimes your true friends are not trying to be your parent, not trying to know it all, but they're just trying to protect you because they know the ultimate outcome. Sometimes your friends who love you dearly can sniff out crazy and unfit people before you may see them. Sometimes we don't want to see the, "he will learn or she will learn the hard way" happen to a good friend. A good friend wants to see you avoid the pain all together. Just my thought for today.