Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dreary Wednesday

It's raining outside.......again, I am beginning to feel like I live in Seattle. I blame the rain for the reason my mood is so crummy. I was up and down last night so the lack of sleep may be making me a cranky butt too! Jude was wrestling around in his bassinet, and his breathing was rattled which kept me awake. Although every time I would walk over, and pat his tummy he would smile even though his eyes were closed. I couldn't help but whisper, "Awwwww sweet baby". I am wondering if he isn't coming down with a cold because of the congestion. I am keeping hope it's just the increase in medication making his breathing a little sluggish. We will keep a close eye on him though. Mike stayed home with him today vs letting his mom watch him due to the medication increase.

I took a ton of pics last night of Jude, and Emily. I wanted to post them today, but I left me camera at home. You are welcome to kick me for that!! argh. So I will be posting those tomorrow.

So why am I down today? Who knows! I am a woman, and we have a right for our hormones to fluctuate, but it may be from my dream. I had a dream last night that I was doing cancer research in a lab. I remember the Petri dishes, the microscopes, and the feeling of accomplishment. Then I woke up, and realized I needed to get ready for my real job. I have said before that I like my job. I enjoy where I work, the people there, my boss, what I do, and I am grateful for my work. I do however sometimes feel trapped in a 9-5 job with no end ever in site. I am sure it's safe to say that everyone feels like this sometimes, even your boss. As a child I had grand dreams to become a vet. I guess every child dreams that at some point, but I was insistent I was going to be one. I have a family member that is a vet, and has done amazing things in his lifetime. When I say amazing....I mean amazing, like creating an MRI machine for large animals. I dreamt of working at the Zoo with large animals, or having a clinic of my own. I am afraid I never pursued these dreams. I blame it on events that happened in my life, and needing to find a job asap to support myself, but who knows. Those are probably just excuses. Emily now says she wants to be a vet so I encourage her as much as I can. No one ever really talked to me about college as a child, so I try to discuss the topic with her often. She has become a fan of Texas A+M which is a great thing because they have the best Vet program I know of. I want her to have a lasting career where she feels safe and secure, and feels like she is making a difference in the world. I will support her no matter what she decides, but I also want her to have every opportunity she can.

I would want these things for Jude too, but the subject of college with Jude will just get me more down today. Therefore, I will skip that topic and move on. I want Emily to be in a position where she doesn't have to worry about money. I think money is an evil thing created by evil people.....I really don't think that but it sounds good. Maybe if the nation split up the ..... was it 400 their company rescue plan amongst all of us we would be better off :)...ha! I feel since this all happened that I work everyday without making a dent in anything we owe. Anyway, I will hush. I have my health, I have my kids, I have a job, and I am grateful. I am just a little b**** today, so maybe it's pms?

Since I am in a rotten mood I figured I would review the Cowboys tent on my other blog later....please stop by for my rant...smiles


Cass said...

Dreary Wednesday it definitely is Jenn, I feel your pain. Let alone the fact here I am in Seattle and working in a similar place to your's a little surreal.

But the pms/hormonal crap will pass soon enough. Well, at least I hope so because I'm in that mood too. Light at the end of the tunnel. :-)

I applaud your support of Emily in her dreams and making sure to talk to her all about college at an earlier age. I wish my mom could have done that for me, she didn't go to college and in turn had no info for me when it was my turn to prep for it.

Cjengo said...

Aw I know I say it's raining like Seattle, but I would love to visit there!

Midwest Mommy said...

How's your mood now? It is raining here both kids are crabs I have already warned the husband I may be bald by the time he gets home.

Cjengo said...

Better. I broke my diet, and had a glass of wine, but it was nice. I also sat down and watched Bride wars with my daughter. I love that she now enjoyes these movies. We were both in tears, and it made the day better. Sorry you might be bald.....been there. I have a few strands left.