Thursday, April 23, 2009

Making lemonade

I learned something tonight which led me to be humbled. While checking the updates on facebook I ran across new pictures, of a very blessed new family. I learned that adopting a baby, brings as much joy as giving birth to a baby. It's's evident from my friend Shelley's pictures, and I am so happy for her. I have so much admiration for her for taking on a baby with questionable circumstances, and loving her with her entire being. Isn't that what we all natural mothers do? We have a baby, and we love every part of their tiny body with everything our heart can offer. So I see her tiny new joy laying in her stylish leopard blanket in her moms arms, and I know that baby will be very very loved! Good for you Shelley! (picture me winking at you!) I never really grasped the entire adoption process, because honestly..... I have not faced that path in life. Again, it's yet something else I never investigated,............because I never felt I needed to. I was again selfish. As moms giving birth to babies we never think of anything going wrong, we take for granted all will be okay. As an adoptive mom you tackle that hurdle head on, knowing something could go wrong, but facing that challenge head on with love. Because of that I know Shelley that God has blessed you with a perfect Angel!

I digress, it seems we turn a blind eye when we cannot relate to a circumstance someone is going through. Not on purpose, but because our brain doesn't recognize that route, and therefore we don't travel it. We feel sorry for someone, and offer our help, but rarely do we grasp truly grasp their situation. For example, I was so excited to try to have a baby in 1997. I read all the books, I took pre-natals, I dressed the part, and I shopped for the soon to be needed maternity clothes. I was shocked when things didn't go my way, and month after month I found a negative sign on pregnancy tests. My heart sank deeper, and deeper with each test I took, and each time I received that time of the month. It took me 7 full months to get pregnant with Emily. To some people that seems like a lifetime, to others that have been through trying to get pregnant for years, it seems only a milisecond. It took my friend Sarah almost 12 months (maybe more) to get pregnant with her current child. I watched her stress even when she didn't speak of her worries. I have a tendency to read her, and I know when she is suffering. I wished nothing more than for her to get pregnant with a happy, and healthy child. With Jude I was pregnant in the blink of an eye. I didn't have time to react, but immediately got on pre-natals, and took the best care of myself as I could.

Yes, sometimes life presents us with circumstances we didn't ask for. Sometimes we worry so much about how we look, what we have, and more to only to realize those things don't mean much. When I was 6 weeks pregnant with Jude I went to the doctor, and had an internal sonogram. They told me they could not see a "fetus", and that I needed to come back at 8 weeks to see if there was a baby, or if he was ectopic. It was a very cold conversation, and the doctor seemed to have little empathy. I left thinking, "This cannot happen to ME!" I thought, "I have a good job, a nice family, I am". Then it's like I heard a higher being say "Of course it's you, and why can't it happen??? What makes YOU more special than someone else". Exactly!!! I sometimes wonder if I didn't get so stressed out over the doctor not being able to see Jude that I caused the issues Jude has. I guess when life hands us lemons we question what we did to deserve those lemons, because we figure.... there had to be someting. We want to make lemonade, but sometimes the sugar is missing. It's up to you to find the happy balance between your lemons, your water, and your sugar. Yep, it's up to you to find your perfect balance!

It seems Shelley found her happy balance. I wish you the best girl, I really do! Thanks for teaching me a lesson tonight.... I think I needed it! Sometimes we get lost in our own stories, and we forget to watch how inspirational others are. I have every confidence that our mothers are sitting together talking about our lives. Knowing my mom she insisted they sit on a nice porch swing............sipping a glass of lemonade made with the recipe you created. So just to let you know Shelley...... I find you, and your complete story..... very inspirational!!

Meet mom Shelley, and her new baby Lauren:

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