causes, and issues

I won't even go into what a hard day yesterday was. A select few of you know why, but man it was a day from hades for sure! I am back in the office today, and holy moly Robin it's as busy as Batman's day yesterday! Tonight I plan on going home, and packing for the hospital tomorrow. There is a part of me that is aching because I know Jude will be in pain tomorrow. I feel terrible that I cannot explain to him why this will be happening. I guess I can explain, but I am not sure he understands. Tonight I will get to spend some time with him without the NG tube in his nose, and I cannot wait. I am going to hold him, and play with him, and give him all the tummy time he wants!

So one thing I haven't mentioned that I have been doing is researching the cause of Jude's stroke. In most cases of an in utero, or childhood stroke there is no explanation. Many times it isn't worth chasing an answers either, because it just brings heartache. I on the other hand truly feel like I know the cause, and I have known the cause. My gut feeling is telling me it was issues from the birth control I had been taking. I won't mention the name because I don't want to slander the name of any company. I will however say I really believe the pill form of birth control is dangerous, and the cause of many issues in America today. I lean more towards the progesterone only pills, or implants. I was only off my medication for a few days before getting pregnant. Early in my pregnancy my platelets showed to be very low. Later in the pregnancy they gave the low platelet count a name, Idiopathic thrombocytopenia. Now I am very aware that pregnancy can cause this issue, but since mine appeared with my initial blood test, I don't think that was the cause. In addition I had problems with my gallbladder, liver, kidneys, and more. I believe I had drug induced thrombocytopenia. Now there is a big debate on whether my issues, could have caused Jude's issues. Some doctors are saying yes, and some no.  My thought is......if my blood supply is giving Jude oxygen, and providing his nutrition and it's compromised common sense says his could be compromised as well. There really isn't anything I can do about this, but it is interesting. I am very interested in knowing if anyone else has ever experienced a situation like this. Like I said there is little that can be done, but awareness could be created if there is indeed a link. Although, it would be very hard to prove.

I am nervous about tomorrow, and I know tomorrow I will be even more nervous.

Also, say a few prayers for my sister if you don't mind. She is having surgery on Thursday to relieve pressure from spinal fluid building up behind her eye.