Saturday, September 25, 2010

Corrina Corrina, a loss of a mother, and so much more.

Tonight Emily asked me to sit down, and watch one of her favorite movies that I have never seen called, Corrina Corrina. Since it was something other than a Disney flick I have seen over, and over again, I obliged. I would be spending time with her while watching something other than, "What a girl wants" so what could be better? Now "What a girl wants" is good movie, but after the 50th time it gets a bit old. So we snuggled in on the couch, and she promised I would enjoy the flick. I enjoyed it more than she could possibly know. One thing I rarely talk about is my mom, and I am not sure why I don't talk about her more. I think I am stuck regarding conversation about my emotions revolving around her, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings that have helped raise me once she passed. I want them to know they are so important, so rather than expressing my emotions surrounding her I tend to keep them inside.  Although, this movie, was particularly moving. Emily even knew certain parts of the movie that would touch me. She paused the movie when the lady in the beautiful red dress broke out into a soulful rendition of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". She was right, I was so touched. My entire family knows how much I love the "Wizard Of Oz", one particular reason is because I shared that movie with my mother. It would come on once a year, and we both made it a huge deal when I was little. I even have handmade Christmas ornaments of every character in the movie that she sat and hand made. We are talking tiny little sequins surrounding a tiny red heart on the tin man. The ornaments are impressive.  

So the movie basically revolved around a little girl that had just lost her mother. The father is struggling, but is making the best of the situation. I laughed outloud when he took the TV dinner with the foil on top out of the oven, and popped them on a tin TV tray. "Oh my gosh" I exclaimed, "That was us!!". My dad did the best he could, but he was lost too. Who wouldn't be at the age of 27 losing your wife, and your childs mother? The movie was just so strange because it followed so much of my life when I was young. Down to the point that the lady across the street (she looked just like Whoopi) watched me, and I loved her. I was very upset when my dad explained to me that I was not a part of her family.

I remember wondering like the little girl on the movie did if you would forget the smell of your mother, how she looked, or how she spoke. If you are wondering, I have. I remember some things, like her beautiful hands that graced the piano keys with long nails. I remember her long blonde hair, but her face is very fuzzy. I remember sitting at the piano listening to another rendition of Beethovens Moonlight Sonata. I also remember the birds she loved so much in their brass cage, but the rest is a blur. I remember.........she was kind to me, even throughout her issues. 

It's strange that it's always Emily that points out emotional songs, movies, or more. Remember it was Em that pointed out "What a Wonderful Life", when I was agonizing over continuing my pregnancy with Jude. She is wise beyond her years. So I encourage you to watch the movie I mentioned, and remember that someone that relates to that movie closely. 

Jude gagged a lot today, but took in his feeding, and all his water, which is amazing. Mike is working on finishing the texture in Jude's room. Tomorrow he is going to paint the outside, stain the door, and paint the inside of the room. Mike wants is working on Jude's ceiling, and I cannot wait to see it done. He wants a "Starry night" based on Jude's campground room, and we think he will loved all the beautiful scenery. I am very grateful to all that have made this happen for Jude.

Tomorrow I have a Scentsy party in Springtown. I would normally take Jude with me, but he can aspirate on the long drive over there, so he will stay home. Em will be staying with Mike to make sure Jude is happy. Jude eats at 9, 3, and 9 so only three times a day. We pretty much plan our day around his feeding schedule, and if we have to leave him with someone it's only after, or before a feed. I know Mike is tired, and I hope that Jude is good tomorrow. It's hard to ask for help when we are in our situation, but I explained to Em I reallllly need some help tomorrow. She is going to do her best to hold Jude while Mike works on the room. She is so wonderful with him, and I know they will have a good day. I will do my work, and be home right after the party. I set up Em's CD player today next to Jude's pallet with the "Across the Universe CD", and he LOVES it! I told Em to turn it on if he gets upset tomorrow, and she said she would.


1 comment:

Midwest Mommy said...

I didn't realize your mother was so young when she passed away. I cannot imagine.