Well

Well my holiday is nearing the end since we only have one full day left before the Monday morning workday rears it's head. I have truly enjoyed the time off with my family, and I am seriously considering staying in my Pj's all day tomorrow. I would personally like a quiet day at home with movies, and lots of snuggles from everyone. I went by my dads and Kays tonight with the kids while Mike stayed at home, and had some boy time. While there Jude had a horrible seizure, and I felt so bad for him... and terrible that my family had to watch him suffer. It's amazing the extent of emotions you feel in a situation like this. On my way into my dads my cousin Sarah called to tell me she was home from Missouri, and that her little boy was anxious to get his "messy" gift out I got him for Christmas. That made me smile!!!

Jude did have a few smiles for me today, and honestly it felt like he was a newborn again. We sat on the couch and he snuggled very close to me just staring at my face. He could do that for hours when he was a brand new baby, and it seems he still likes that position. He is so funny because he makes these faces from furrowed brow... to a slight little smile while staring at me.... it cracks me up. On another note....prior to leaving for my dads tonight I did my first yell of "Emily you look PRETTY enough now get down here we have to go!!!". I am not joking.......at ten she was upstairs primping, but I do have to say she looked VERY cute today when she finally made it downstairs. She had her little black shirt with pink writing, her black converse, blue jeans, a scarf that matched, a headband that matched, and some light lip gloss, and glitter...lol! She looked adorable........and trust me she thought she was hot stuff!! Although, while at my dads she really wanted to go with my sister to her job (she is a youth pastor) the next morning. It wasn't planned though which means she had zero clothes, she was exhausted, and early morning is hard on us because Jude starts seizing anywhere from 3am on. So I asked her to just go to church with us and that she could spend the night with Chelle in a few weeks, and go to church with her the next morning. She proved my point on being tired when I got the loud cries and whimpers.... so even though exploring young lady hood she is still a little girl...and that's OKAY!!! I just knew she would be so hard to get up (hence why we go to late service) and I would hate to cause issues with Chelle's job. I try hard to make Emmy feel like our situation is minimally interfering with her life, but sometimes I have to remind myself that it's ok to give her limitations too. Even though it is church related it was still something she could work around. So hopefully, in two weeks or so she can stay the night with Chelle and go to church with her. She will LOVE it!!!!!! She likes being involved. Plus she likes the church we have started going to......so she will be fine.

We looked at consolidating our phones, and some other avenues to decrease our living expenses this weekend. I think we made some great strides, and I will work on finalizing everything on Monday, but I truly believe this is going to work. This will WORK! It sounds liberating to say it.....and I have faith everything will WORK out.

I have two major New Years resolutions everyone needs to help me on...lol! First, work on getting a grant to finish my degree. Not only finish, but I plan on being on the Dean's list. Second, get my a$$ back in the gym to get the last baby weight off. I like to feel good about myself, and if you can feel good about yourself you can accomplish more to help others. Lifting Jude while in therapy or during a seizure will be much easier if I am back in the condition I was prior to getting pregnant. Also Em has a new guitar from her daddy, and she wants to learn how to play ... so that will be her resolution. I think it's a good resolution because she already knows a lot about playing because her dad plays. She also wants to write her own story, and has started it already. It's about a world larger than ours ran by something part duck and ladybug ;). Jude's resolution will be to say "ma ma", and to learn to sit up on his own! We will help him every step of the way, but our first issue with him is to get his seizures under control.

On another note Ella (another family member that is 2) just adores Mike, and again on Christmas she was up on his lap on the couch. On Thanksgiving she was telling him all about her "killer" bunny rabbits (stuffed of course). She won't really talk to many people, but plays with Mike as much as she can. She remind me a lot of Em at that age with her long curly hair, her big cheeks, and how she picks those she wants to talk to. I told him how fun little girls are, and as much as I know he would love one............I don't think either one of us could EVER stomach another pregnancy. It's kinda sad.

I will close this with saying I found out an old estranged friend of mine had her house burn down on Christmas night. It made me so sad, and to step back and realize we all have certain crises that affect our families. Some are more svere than others, and some are devastating. I know she will survive, but still we so easily lose sight of situations we should be grateful for. Our house is our safe haven right now......... i cannot imagine it not being here....we would be lost. Anyway, I will post more on Monday. Have a good night.