Thursday, October 30, 2008
On another note I am currently trying to work out Emily's softball, school, and other schedules with my going back to work schedule. I am not sure how it is all going to work out, and it has me a bit stressed out. Even though working is great organizing schedules and trying to meet your kids needs and be difficult. So luckily I have met some nice moms in the neighborhood that stay home, and I think they are going to help me out. They have kids that participate in Emily's extra curricular activities and if they take her I can pick up.
So Jude has become a lot like Emily was when she was a baby. I feed him 4-6 oz about 9:45 and he lays down by 10 or 10:15 and sleep until about 6. He is a great baby!!!!!!!!!! I am very lucky. He started really cooing at me today when I was talking to him. I can tell he is craving the attention, and I try to give him all I can. I could tell that Mike was a little sad today that he doesn't have the funds to keep me at home with his son. I assure him he is still a wonderful dad and it will all work out. He looked at me this morning holding Jude and said "I know I wanted a baby so bad, but I think you got someone you never knew you wanted so badly". I guess he is right because Jude and I are pretty stuck together, and Em just adores him too. Yesterday in the car Em was telling Jude quietly "You see Jude....mommy, you, me and mikey are a little family". It was pretty cute!!!!!! Em also understands she has an amazing dad too so she has a great family all around. She also has wonderful grandparents even though my mom has passed, and is just all around lucky.
So I am still handling the work issue emotionally, and I am sure I will be blogging a lot on Monday. I will most likely be writing from there, and from home. Just thinking about being away from Jude makes me tear up. I wish I had a nursery at work.....ha. Another issue I am having is being hesitant in saying anything negative about my job because I like it there very much. So in saying that I hope this isn't negative, but I have realized I don't really have any room for advancement at my job. It's taken me a long time to step back, and realize I am worth a lot. I am a fast learner, I can handle the job of three people, I can work in a very fast paced environment, I have great communication and selling skills, etc. If you have tried to hire in today's market then you understand how valuable those skills are. I cannot compliment myself often, but I can say I am a pretty da** good employee. I am rather opinionated (who me?) but besides that I am pretty good :). I have been through what seems to be hundreds of receptionist/clerks because they cannot even grasp the basic concepts so I take pride in being a good employee. So I guess that is another issue to wrestle with down the road. Although, I remind myself that in today's economy I should count my blessings that I have a good job with good insurance! Now my cousin will probably leave a comment in regards to my office...ha!
I am off to go to bed. I have one more weekday left and I plan on snuggling with Jude until late in the morning! Good night everyone ~ Sleep tight
My pretty sis and my tiny calf:
Juders sleeping. You can tell here where the back of his head is a little small.........he is pretty though huh?? Pretty baby.
And last but not least simply because if I see one more political ad I may puke :) Should be interesting seeing the results though....just days huh?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Let me explain... each time we go to the doctor I hold out a little hope that what the MRI originally showed will be wrong. That faith, hope, and love will overcome Scientific information. We have beaten the small cerebellum, and the small corpus callosum, but it just doesn't look like we will overcome the cortical thinning. I guess deep down I have known this too, call it a mothers instinct. That's not saying I think Jude will be different because I believe each person is wired in their own way, and who says your brain isn't wired differently than mine? There isn't anyway in 1973 they would have known I had enlarged brain vents, or water in the back of my brain. We didn't have all these fancy tests when I was born. Now again let me explain for those that are new. Jude does not have hydrocephalus which is like a sponge and when the water is released the brain returns to normal. Jude has water in the place of where brain should be.............. BUT he is tiny and the brain continues to grow. We personally choose to believe that again Jude's brain will compensate. As stated below we told the doctor that Jude has been smiling more, rolling, and just acting like a baby! Mike and I have talked about what issues if any that Jude may have an adopted the attitude that "Can't" will not be in our or his vocabulary. So Jude is a little cranky from his shots, and is wanting to be held a lot but I don't mind. I was finally just able to lay him down in his bassinet......... but I keep seeing a tiny lil hand coming up. It's pretty funny because all we see if a hand that looks like it's waving at us. I am a little concerned on his weight, but he seems like he eats a lot to me.
On a funny note my daughter is writing a paper on what she would change if she were president. Well she asked us what we thought and anyone that knows us knows...my husband goes off on TANGENTS when you ask him something political. So now Emily's paper is riddled with the kid written versions of all that. So when he got home I told him to go read Em's paper, and I crossed my arms. He just said "uh oh". Oh dear.............kids do listen don't they? I guess at least she is learning and listening. Most kids will reward the world everyday with pizza! My kid wants solar powered vehicles for everyone, a national health care system, better education in jail to rehabilitate, harsher punishment for everyone including the rich when they get caught with hard drugs, etc. ............ oh my.......lol! She proudly said "They are hanging it on the wall outside". I just looked at my husband and said "You are taking the call!" and walked off.
Ps ~ I saw on the news that there are a lot of animal shelters suffering in our area (they showed the Garland animal shelter). This is caused by the downturn in the economy, and therefore people are not donating to animal shelters. Well as a result the animals are running out of food. If you go to the grocery store please pick up a bag of cat/dog food, and drop it at your local animal shelter. It only takes a few minutes, or if you don't have time send them a check. I mean even $5 can help buy a bag of food. Poor little animals don't have any food to eat!!! It's very sad!
Monday, October 27, 2008
So let's talk about maternity leave in this country because I go back to work on Monday. I was reading an article in Baby Talk, and the statistics amazed me. I have had 8 weeks maternity leave, and my job was good about everything. Although, did you guys know that the US is 1 of only 5 countries that does not provide a longer and PAID maternity leave??? (That's out of 174 countries...sad huh?). The other three are very very poor countries, and the fourth....well it's Australia and they require 12 months off unpaid with small lump sum payments. That's a lot more than the US...... you know what we give?? 12 weeks unpaid, and that is only for employers that have over 50 employees. While traveling through my difficult pregnancy journey I found several support forums that had a long list of women from different countries. Most had paid healthcare, and long paid maternity leaves. France has 16 weeks paid, Norway has 42 weeks full pay, my friend in the Netherlands had a long time off too. Granted their healthcare isn't as nice as ours at times, but no one is left out and everyone has care. It is proven that babies who have more time with their mothers are less violent, and develop better physically and emotionally, and also carry a lower mortality rate. Although, 70 percent of women in this country have to work and have to return to the workforce and leave their children. Now some truly enjoy their careers, and I am not bashing them by any means to each his own. So then we debate on what the cure is. Is it to refrain from having children unless you can stay home? That's a bit ridiculous. Plus, our country also has social stipulations put on us that require college, etc and that requires money. I love America, but there are some things I think need changed. Our healthcare, our prison system, and maternity leave... yet I have heard the first two mentioned in the current presidential debates, but not the third. Plus, let me just mention that by the time you pay for decent healthcare, and decent childcare it takes most of what you make at a job. I am lucky and have a family member to take care of Jude. Don't even get me started on our prison system. Maybe if we were more like Amsterdam etc, and didn't provide nice places (prisons) for people to go then they would not do the crime in the first place. Basically they also believe if you do the crime you do the time and there is NO probation! So basically people avoid criminal activity there.
So what to do? How do we improve our healthcare system, and our family leave? I did find this website http://www.momsrising.org/ which looks like they are advocates for these issues too. Well there is my rant. :)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Back with Spider web:
And yes I am crazy for doing all this with a newborn, but I love it! I have always loved throwing parties. If I had my choice of jobs I would be a party planner. Speaking of I laid in bed and bawled to Mike last night about how I am afraid Jude will feel I have abandoned him when I do back to work. That's a whole different blog though. Plus, I am sure every working mom deals with those emotions.
So want some good news? Jude slept from 10:30 - 6:30!!!!!!!!!!! I put a little rice in his bottle because he just seems hungry all the time lately. He ate more than twenty ounces before 11am yesterday. So I tried the rice, and the baby was a HAPPY CAMPER! It was only a teaspoon in 4 ounces, but you would have thought he was sucking gold he loved it.
On another note he is still not concentrating much on our faces. He is smiling more, but at our voices not our faces. He is holding his head up, pushing up on his chest, can roll over to one side, and is starting to coo more. So it seems like he is getting to his milestones. He also puts weight on his legs when you hold him on your lap which is pretty funny. His hair is the funniest thing to me.......I call him rooster. No matter what I do he has that tuft that stick up right at the top. Well I am off to take a quick bath and then it's busy time.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Second, sigh..........this is a long one people and I won't go into the drawn out story, but my husbands work is just irritating. I feel so sorry for him sooooooooo they too are on the le poo poo list. I will post the entire story tomorrow. Anyway, I made Em's haunted house cake and I am SOOOOOOOOOOO proud! I will post pics after the party on Sat because I want it to be a surprise.
I have to get Em to gymnastics so I will talk to you guys tomorrow. On a good note Jude smiled half the day after I complained last night that he doesn't smile enough. :)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I am watching Deal or no Deal right now, and observing the cute little nurse hoping he has the million dollar case (it's down to only 2 cases).......I am biting my nails........stand by. He has the (drum roll) ................... $1 case ........ oh SEE you should have listened to your mother man, and taken the $416,000!!!! We tell you guys this all the time "LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER". We are smart, we have experience, and we realize that $416,000 in one lump sum is probably the largest single volume of cash you will ever see at one time! Mike and I are now discussing the necessity of listening to your mom while I type, and he feeds Jude. Mike said his mom always said "You just remember how bad you are and you are going to have a scroungy little boy JUST LIKE YOU"!!!. Um, ok hold up and rewind please. I was a a good little girl........and no I am not lying (well under 7 anyway) so why do I deserve a naughty little son in the future???. When I was little I had this little red step stool, and when I did something I knew was wrong I would take my step stool into the living room. I would carefully place said stool in the middle of the floor and sit there and cry until my dad got home. I would then spew out my sin in tears like I was in a Catholic church in confessional. So therefore, maybe my goodness will offset his badness. Speaking of I was a kid that would leave early in the morning, and you wouldn't see me until my dad would whistle for me to run home for dinner. I was filthy from head to toe, but I had a wonderful day of playing. I didn't need a tv, video games, or music to put me to sleep because the running outside had taken every bit of strength I had. I wish there were still days like that for our kids, but I guess times have changed.
I ran myself ragged again today between cleaning, baking, burping, laundry, work, etc. I guess that is the life I will be getting used to though, and it does give me stuff to do. I also swept the back porch tonight and cleaned up the charcoal bag the Jack Russel Terrorists tore apart. Yes, there was charcoal all over my patio (black nasty chalky horrible charcoal). I scooped all the bricks into a trash bag, and as I was sweeping the little dog Jack wanted to be king of the charcoal trash bag and sit on top while the big fat youngest boy Spot wanted to tear it apart again. I then threatened to tear apart their a$$ and they moved along....lol. Speaking of be be dogs, my cousin came home tonight, and found bird feathers all over her house, and not a dog of hers in site. She finally found her best behaved dog hiding and looking like "Oh man we are in trouble". So she called for her mischievous dog (a Yorkie poo) who proudly came bouncing around the corner holding my cousins parakeet in her mouth. I guess the poor little bird some how wiggled out of his cage, and thus the tiny dog felt the chase is on!!!! It seems the bird lost the chase. My cousin said she is left with the one parakeet with a crooked beak....ha. I was there for awhile writing a life policy for her husband, and the dog would walk up to my cousin and she would just glare at her. She said wanted a nice dinner of bird that night......so she was in trouble. I think my cousin was pretty upset over the bird loss. Sorry girl! I told her about all the poor animals the Jack Russell Terrorists have killed. They are pack hunters so NOTHING can come in our backyard.......including the family of 6 small baby ducklings who landed with their mom on accident. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Jude is in his baby blue pajama's and sitting on his dads shoulder now trying to burp. He looks adorable, and is lifting his head so well now. I also forgot to mention that he rolled from his back to his tummy last night. I truly hope he keeps on hitting his milestones. I still catch myself carefully examining his head while he is in someone else's hands. While in my hands he looks so much larger than he used to. In someone else's hands I realize just how tiny he still is. He doesn't smile as much as I want him to, but granted he isn't even 2 months yet. Sometimes when holding him I caress the back of his head wondering where the back up of spinal fluid (water) is at. I sometimes think that with a mother's touch maybe I can will it to heal itself. Wishful thinking, but still emotional thoughts that flow through my brain.
I am still working on Emily's Haunted house Halloween cake. Have you ever had a project you were working on already pictured in your mind, and once started it looks nothing like how you pictured it? hmmmmmmmmm. We will see what happens. Emily hasn't even seen it and said "maybe we should just buy a cake". Thanks for the vote of confidence kid!! lol. We DID win second place at the pie contest...gees. ;) Night
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Jude was up last night again .............. for quite awhile.................blank stare. I am pretty sure I will be running on wine, skim milk, and diet dr pepper when I go back to work...ha! So Em went to a friends house today while I went and grocery shopped. I am thrilled she has a little friend in the neighborhood, but when I came home they were not home.......sudden panic. Anyway, about 15 mins later Emily calls and thus the following conversation occurred.
Me: Where are you?
Em: At the high school.
Me: Um ok
Em: Can I go to a concert here?
Me: (says nothing)
Me: Well you are already there aren't you?
Me: sigh. Yes, and I am glad you are with friends, but you need to ask mommy before you go.
Em: Ok (all excited) THANK YOU!!!
Me: Em you haven't even eaten dinner
Em: It's ok, love ya, bye (quick).......dial tone...........
I guess I have a pre teen. Anyway, my aunt called and I told her what happened. I explained Addison called, and asked if Em could come and play. I told her she could, but that we had to run to Costco so it would have to be ok with her mom. I am beginning to understand after my conversation listed above that her mom probably didn't know the initial call had been made asking Em to come over she only knew that I was going to Costco.....lol. My aunt said "Well girl she probably thinks you are like most parents just wanting a break". So I am blogging, fixing dinner, and cleaning. I am determined to clean at least 1 bathroom.
Have a good night!!!!!
Jude has been SUPER fussy tonight..........but cute. I am not sure what is wrong with him, and it makes me sad :(. I think he either had gas, or some ear issues because he is tugging at his ears like Em did. We did get him down though, and he seems to be sleeping ok.
On a happy note my friend Ginger came to see me today. I just ADORE her so much, and miss seeing her. You guys have to understand that I have known this girl since I was 15, and in high school we were inseparable. She is the friend that you may not talk to for six months, but you can pick right up with where you were before. You also never feel uncomfortable, or have those weird moments of silence it's just you guys and it always will be :)!!!!
I have some wonderful friends, and several I have had for many years I am very lucky!!!! On another topic it seems Em is being miss bossy pants at school. Mike told me tonight that Emily's friend down the street admitted that Em loses some friends because of her being bossy. Sigh, I guess we will have a talk in the morn. Have a good night guys!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
So the day progressed and I packed Judes bag in preparation for our night. I had mentioned in the blog before that thanks to my cousin we were planning to stay at the hotel we stayed at last year on our wedding day. We packed up Jude's play yard (which is like packing part of the pentagon), packed formula, cleaned bottles, gathered diapers etc. We dropped Jude at my cousins, and I waited to feel a twinge of guilt. I felt so guilty the first time I left Emily, but I didn't this time with Jude. I knew he was in good hands, and I knew we deserved a night away.......... maybe it's being older with this baby? So we ventured to the hotel, and I still didn't know where we were going to eat. We checked into our room, and my husband offered to take our luggage (which consisted of 2 small bags) up to the room. I looked at him perplexed and said "that's ok I can make it up to the room". So we dropped our stuff off, and then he suggested having a drink down at the bar. He knows I love an extra dirty martini, but the problem was I haven't had one in almost a year. So I was hesitant, but Mike insisted we go and have 1 drink. He then said "I left my phone in the room" and left to go get it. I thought it was odd he left his phone, but I just accepted what he said. About 20 minutes later he called, and said he had to go to the bathroom and to please come upstairs. At that point I knew something was up!!! Why would he call me??
So I ventured upstairs only to find rose petals in the hallway of the hotel!!! Then I got to our room and the door was cracked. I pushed the door open, and there were pink candles, and rose petals everywhere!!!! So it seems Mike had called the hotel and overridden the prior reservations (awwww). He moved us to a room with a balcony (which was still no charge thanks to my cousin). He requested dinner be served on the balcony vs going somewhere, and there were a ton of candles out there too. He had dinner served, a bottle of wine, and it was all gorgeous. So it turns out he had called Kel, and Sarah to ask them their advice on what to do....so cute!! He said he wanted everything be "very special" this year. The one thing that really got me though??? We finished dinner and Mike brought out a white cake box. My wedding cake was NOT what I wanted last year. The lady that did the cake did not make what I wanted, and in addition to that the hotel lost our wedding cake topper. Well inside the white box was the top tier to a gorgeous wedding cake, and it was even in our wedding colors. I teared up when I saw it, and thought about how lucky I am. So we finished off our bottle of wine, and champagne. I thought about the headache I would have in the morning, and I enjoyed my night with my hubby!!! Although, I did wake up at 2, 4, and 5:30........sigh! lol. We also had to move rooms because local nascar lover next door with the screaming children also snored so loud he out-snored his tv. I looked at Mike and said "We cannot sleep at home there is no way we are not sleeping here". So the hotel came up, listened to the noise, and gladly moved us. It was like a BEAR was next door. lol! All in all though it was a fabulous night, and the first time we felt truly relaxed in months and month. He did all this with a hurt back too! He is so sweet
So the next morning we got up and had a wonderful breakfast. Then we left, and my heart started pounding thinking about picking up my little baby. It turns out he was very good for Sarah, and I think they enjoyed having him. I held him for a long time, and then I then looked forward to picking up Em. Em had called me earlier in the day, and told me she and her dad were going to watch the game with friends at Fox/Hound. So I texted him right before the horrible nerve racking Cowboy game ended, and asked him if it would be better if I picked her up early so they wouldn't have to get back out. I had the best intentions, but I don't think it came across that way. Anyway, I still got her early, and I am always happy to have my kiddos together. I felt horrible though because we went to the store after I got her and Em started crying saying she missed her daddy. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That makes me feel terrible, and I told her (she left her phone at his house) maybe we he brought her phone back tomorrow they could go eat together. SO then she got home, and Mike wasn't here because he is quoting a large paint job for a house about an hour away. So she teared up saying she missed Mike, and wanted him to be at home. I think maybe I am dealing with some pre-little lady emotions. I also think she struggles with having her dad, and step dad around. I assured her she was a lucky little girl to have a dad who loves her SO much, and a step dad who loves her too. That many little girls don't have a dad that loves them at all. Em is just so sensitive.
So while at the mall on Sat I saw a woman with 3 kids, and one was about 3 years old. He should be walking on his own, but was in a stroller with toys attached to it. He looked normal except for a little bit smaller head, and skinny legs/feet. You could tell he was just a little .....different. It's a strange feeling that you can accept your life the way it is, and then suddenly you stop at a situation you see and it makes you panic, feel sympathy, feel compassion, or feel love for the family. You work through your emotions, you find acceptance as mentioned, and you realize what may lie ahead. Jude was wonderful while I was at the mall though, and everyone commented on how beautiful he is. All the children are beautiful though.............all of them.
My gorgeous cake!
My pretty flowers:
Ems hair I mentioned yesterday
Friday, October 17, 2008
So on another note I was about to bathe the baby today when I hit the shower curtain and the whole thing came crashing down. I grabbed Jude out before the pole came crashing on him, and it scared him to death. He cried so hard that he lost his breath so I thought maybe he had indeed been hit. My husband came running upstairs and ripped the whole curtain/rod out and threw it in the guest room. That stupid thing is a piece of crud, and that is even after the builder replaced it once before. My husband cussed at it like it could hear. Anyway, Jude seems to be fine and is laying on his daddy in his light blue jammies. He looks so cute!!! I am admiring his cute lips.
Emily got her hair cut today, and its adorable!!!!!!! She asked to get it short and I wasn't sure if she would like it, but it's too cute on her. She also looks grown up with it. I will post a pic tomorrow. In the mean time I am off to get the dining room set for her party. I am doing it this weekend so I will make sure I have all I need. The dining room is our "scary" room in the house. It has a 6 ft witch stirring a potion that really smokes, etc. Yes, we are crazy! ha!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I opened the rocking chair first and it is SO adorable and just like the picture above. I proudly put it together myself (because darling hubby took to long) and it turned out great. I then opened the 1000 pound (ha) toy box to put it together and was shocked at what I saw. The sides of the toy box which are the barn itself were............HOT PINK!!!!!!!!!! "Hot pink????" I said in horror. I called hubby down for his opinion and without saying a word I pointed and he angrily said "um why does my son have a pink toy box". Sigh. I then looked on line and slapped myself in the head. Of course, it's hot pink, but I honestly thought it was a light shade of red...sigh. Oh well the rocker is just adorable in his room, and the barn on the rocker IS a light red. The sad part is when I called the company about returning it the nice lady that answered the phone insisted it was light red. "Um no ma'am it's definitely hot pink" I said. She said they must have changed the colors and to take it back to Babies R Us. So I ventured out on my hour hike to Babies R Us, only to get stuck behind a malfunctioning light in Keller. Which is basically like being stuck behind the presidential limo heading up through a major city. I convinced Emily not to ask "when will we be there" again, and finally reached our destination. I then dealt with the cashier saying "those have to be sent to the company", and me replying "I did contact them they said to bring it here". I then glared at the manager and mentioned my hour drive, and he gave me store credit. PERFECT.......i got a plethora of items Jude needed including more formula. He is officially in a size 3 months which makes me jump for joy!!! His little head is growing as well, and he is even rocking side to side. I also got him a little barnyard kicking mat that lights up and signs to him....HE LOVES IT!
So today Mike and I were discussing finances because it's right after the 15th, and we have to pay bills. He mentioned how he new things would get rather tight "near the end". I heard his words echo "Near the end of my maternity leave". One part of me wanted to fall to the floor and cry my eyes out that soon I was going to have to pass Jude off in the mornings. Regardless of the fact that Mike's mom will be watching him it still breaks my heart. The other part of me was a little satisfied that I would at least be with Sarah in my normal surroundings, but I would still prefer to be with Jude and Em. It's so nice being able to attend more of Em's school functions, be here when she gets home, have her friends over to play after school, and to be with Jude all day. As stated before I was gone for awhile with Em today and when I got home Jude was resting on his dads chest. All I said was "Hi Jude" in my high pitched mommy loves you voice and he perked up, smiled, and cooed. Mike seems a little irritated and happy at the same time that he is so responsive to me. Jude has been very vocal today, in fact I caught him mid coo to me in this photo:
I just adore him and Em.
So on another note I went to Ny and Company last night to try to find a sexxxxxxxxxxy dress to wear for my wedding anniversary I have been talking about. Yes, I am stressed about leaving Jude but not as much as you would think. I know Sarah will take excellent care of him! Anyway, so I decided to try on several adorable dresses that would normally look awesome on me. I had lost another 2 lbs according to my scale so I went into the store with the label Ms. Confident across my chest. I left the store with my tail between my legs holding a nice pair of pants and a silver shirt...sigh...and a label "not there yet". I had gone into the store earlier in the day, but Mr Jude fussy pants wanted no part of shopping. So the nice sales lady put my dresses aside for me. You could tell she is a mom because they were there when I showed back up at 7pm...lol. I tried them all on and came out looking a bit sullen. She said "I guess they didn't work. What are you looking for?". I replied, " I just had the baby you saw earlier 6 weeks ago, and I need something that doesn't make me look like a cow!". She said "well let's try something black". Sigh, ugh, she agrees..........ha! Anyway, luckily the pants were a size 10 so only 4 size to go. I found some nice jewelry, am getting my hair done for free from my hairdresser friend, and Mac is doing my make up because I needed new powder and such anyway. So I am determined to be ONE HOT MAMA! ha ha.
Also, on a side note.........the festival we went to the other night that I mentioned had several vendors there. One of them was for a "doggy day spa"........I know you people love your animals but really? If people really pay for a doggy suite with a plasma tv when they go on road trips they have TOO MUCH DAMN MONEY! I mean really????? You wouldn't believe the price if I told u. Our dogs would be happy with a snausage, and a rubber ball. Gees!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
She sweetly said "I will give you one"
Mommy bought some calming tea, smiled, and drove home. Only to find the pea soup spitting demon living in my daughter pissed because after I cooked dinner I was asking her to eat chicken in addition to her mac and cheese.
Jude saying "I am innocent here people I have no idea what she is referring to"
Sunday, October 12, 2008
So on an ugly note we received a notification from our neighborhood today that was not pleasant. In fact my husband came in and told me "your senses always seem to be right". I saw some guy staring at our house the other day, and it just creeped me out! Well turns out some guy was eyeing another house too. I am sure it's just a coincidence, but still the owners of said house saw someone with a flash light in the middle of the night. When they turned on their outside lights I guess the guy ran away, but when they went outside their little girls window had the screen off (YIKES). According to the police.... burglars do not do this, only pedophiles do. GREAT! We live in a nice neighborhood, but it doesn't seem to matter!!! Luckily we have an alarm system, Em is on the 2nd floor, and we have 3 dog alarms in the backyard. If someone so much as sneezes on our house the dogs will bark. In fact I heard them barking the other night, and it turns out Jack (see prior blogs) had gotten out, and Spot was really mad at him. Mike says I have rabbit ears which is funny because my grandfather always said the same thing. Anyway, I digress to the lurker and in response to that I told Mike I was going to buy a large dog for the interior of the house. After he finished laughing at me hysterically I told him I was serious. He then laughed some more..... (Staring blankly at you). So Em will now be CLOSELY monitored at the bus stop, etc. I have been through a lot in my life, but losing one of my children would send me over the edge. I know that would be the 1 thing I could not handle, and I would probably take out the person who did something to them. I know that's horrible to say, but it's true people. Preach forgiveness all you want........it isn't happening in that circumstance...sorry. So I am currently researching Mastiff's ......... you think that's to big of a dog? lol. Can you imagine coming into someones house and seeing a Mastiff staring at you?? They are fiercely loyal, beautiful, docile dogs, BUT big protectors of their family. They won't attack, but they will knock someone on their A$$ and hold them their with their paw until their owner tells them release. Get this...........they are so loyal that they don't even have to have protection training....no joke.
So I mentioned the dang IRS didn't I? I have never really had a problem paying required taxes because I have always thought of it in the sense of, what would you pay to live in America? Well that's priceless so whatever it takes (in my opinion). I am trying to think of how to start this story off because it's a menagerie of issues that are rolled together. First off my husband explained to me that he is the most unlucky person in the world. Based on his past it's a possibility, but I never chose to believe this until recently. I saved for my maternity leave to make sure we could continue to live the lifestyle we are accustomed too. Unfortunately, my maternity leave started much sooner than expected. Luckily, I had also saved more than expected (just didn't tell anyone to make sure it stayed there) although we had more unexpected expenses too (sigh). We are still fine, but still. So my husband had money set aside for him awhile ago that at his request his mom took out of an investment just in case it was needed. The SAME day we got it out.......same day people..........and the same day I wound up in the hospital in pre-term labor........the IRS showed up at our house. Why? because back in 2001 after 9/11 happened my husband had a freight company that went under. Due to that one horrible day air traffic shut down, etc ,etc his small freight business that relies on air transportation could never recover. Therefore, he dissolved the company. It seems the IRS never knew his company was no longer in force, and he never knew he owed past payroll taxes........ARGH! Guess how much it's for? Yep the amount he got out almost to the penny. I never blogged on this before because it's rather a personal issue, but I tell everything here, and others can relate. With everything going on medically at the time my hubby showed up at the hospital almost in tears. He told me what happened, and what did I do? I looked at him and burst into laughter, and he looked at me like I was insane. I said "Babe, all you can do is laugh, I can realize you are the unluckiest person in the world, and we just move along because somehow it all works out". He just smiled back, and we figured out that together we will overcome any situation. He then said "what else could happen??". Two weeks later I was back in the hospital again, with my platelets dropping so rapidly a hematologist was called in.... so we decided never to ask that question again. I did tell him last week "Honey, the good luck is that you took your investment out because due to the economy you probably would have lost half". I then got called Snow White because I am naive, and always find the best in things (hence my name on Myspace) although he smiled and said that's a good thing. I just choose to see the good side, and have confidence it will work out. ALTHOUGH, I do sit back and I look at our current economy. I see how additional taxes have been placed upon those that do not need additional taxes on them. It takes the average American EVERYTHING they earn to live a decent life. There is so much that can be done to improve the normal persons life. I can sometimes see why those less fortunate just give up, and continue with the path they have been traveling down. I would also like to help those less fortunate more than I can now. I guess we could also look at ourselves more though, and find ways to help them huh? I could go on about the current presidential contributions to our horrible economy, but I am torn on that subject. As an American I feel we should support our leader, and also feel that again the president is just a front man to other people that truly make the decisions. The people behind the president are the ones we don't get to vote into office. (oh I feel the soap box coming on) Honestly, can we truly vote the president into office with the electoral college anyway? The electoral college is so far out-dated and needs to GO AWAY! Although, it looks as if we are finally making strides within our country in overcoming issues that are outdated (ie ~ race, issues with women, disabilities, etc) so maybe things are finally looking up.
Jude is so cute and growing like a weed. I will take some pics tomorrow because he is sleeping right now. His head is almost at 14 which is still a little small, but it looks proportioned to his body. The other night at the fair I watched a little boy about 2 in his cute khaki shorts, button down shirt, and spiked hair jump in the bounce house. He was so little that he just kind of went through the motions of trying to jump up and down......it was very cute. I wished to myself that someday I would be putting Jude in the bounce house. In the next moment I turned to see a dad pushing his son in one of the wheelchair for those with Cerebral Palsy, and his son had a helmet. I wondered when they knew their son had issues, and I prayed/hoped to myself. It's strange not knowing the future even though none of us do. Does that make sense? For instance I know that when Em gets up in the morning she will brush her teeth on her own, get dressed on her own, eat on her own, etc. Yet the unknowing is still there. I thought about Christmas too......will he enjoy his Christmases and come down the stairs like she does wondering what Santa brought??
As for myself I have found my abdominal compress from my surgery and have been wearing it around the house. Emily likes to point out the small bulges over the compress...........SIGH! lol. I am down 9 pounds, and am still determined to see that size 6 again :). I hope everyone had a great weekend. Here is a pic of Em after Sweet and Sassy.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Here is a funny pic of Em today on a big slide:
Tomorrow I plan to rant on the IRS so be sure to tune in for that doozie of a soap box rant because trust me they have pissed this regular American suffering like the rest of us OFF!!!!!!!!! lol.
Friday, October 10, 2008
So last night I was sitting in the bath thinking about how great it would be if I really could stay home with the kids at some point. You should see Jude and how he responds to...... well just my voice. Although, it's just not possible right now for me to be at home.......especially with the economy the way it is. Although, since I am now paying Jude's health insurance it almost makes sense not to work so we can get CHIPS. Were you aware that many other countries pay their moms to stay home with the kids??? Yep they get a salary!!! They also have paid maternity leave for at least a year, and paid health insurance. I am aware their health care may not be as wonderful as ours, but still their government pays. Don't get me wrong...I love living in America......... I just get frustrated. In the 50's there were not rampant drugs, school shootings, etc and maybe that's because 1 parent could stay at home. So some ask...why have a kid if you cannot stay home? Well if we all waited we would never have kids at all....... EVER. I guess I could go on and on, but honestly it's just not worth it. I am so disappointed with what's happened to America and it's economy lately. Sometimes I wonder if Osama is sitting back proud of what happened after 9/11, and don't even get me started on our government. The gas prices, the job loss, the poor renters being evicted due to mortgage foreclosures, etc. Drive down 121 and look at all the restaurants that are CLOSED!
The good thing is that a part of me really enjoys working.....so who knows what the right answer is. I do want my children to participate in extra curricular activities, have proper health care, special birthdays, and nice clothes so that requires my job and I am lucky I have one I enjoy.
On another note while at Emily's doctor I ran upstairs to see the perinatologists, and I was finally able to show them Jude. Dr. Graham AND Payne were there!!! If you have kept up with our story you know who both of them are, and you know both their personalities. Dr Graham was rather emotional, and looked at Jude very lovingly. Dr Payne gave Em some graham crackers ,and scratched Jude's feet. Dr Payne said "well he can feel his feet and toes, and look scratching his foot makes him suck his pacifier" so he was a bit more doctor. That's to be expected though, and I was glad he did that. Dr Graham asked about the neurosurgeons results, and then said again to please keep him updated so he can advise others in a similar situation. They both said they were anxious for the MRI results. I told them I am too, but that regardless of what they say it really is just watching Jude's milestones and I refuse to panic over the MRI again. Dr Graham said how happy he is for us, and gave me a hug which took me by surprise and I hugged him back. Sweet sweet man!
I am going to check on Em and will write more tomorrow. Here is her Zombie cheerleader costume...lol! What do you think?
Ps ~ I just watched Sat night live from this past Sat and WOW it was hilarious!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Emily's birthday is this weekend, and I am taking her to a festival in our city this weekend. She and I are also making a pie for a contest.........let's hope it turns out ok. It is a chocolate chip pecan pie..mmmm. She is a little miffed that Jude has to be involved in her bday, but I am sure it's just that jealousy coming out again. I try to have patience with her transition. Mike says I let her run over me a lot, and I am sure I do....but she was my only baby for a long time.
So even though I love this domestic Goddess role (ha), I am still anxious to get out and have a night on the town. So therefore I am looking forward to next Sat with my hubby when we go out for our anniv. Although, I am sure I will get out and then wonder what Jude is up to the whole time...lol. I know he will be safe with my cousin though.
I am still working on this baby weight, and ran up and down my stairs 8 times today. I will do that either more times here soon, and that should strengthen my legs again. Here is a pic of the little guy smiling.....
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
So the family went to a neighborhood national crime watch night tonight. Yes, we are a thrilling bunch of party people. Anyway, we kept trying encourage Emily to go find friends from her school and run around with them. It was basically a block party, and there were a ton of police, fireman, we even had care flight. After we had her sign up for the child safety program there I explained she was in the safest place possible, and to please play. She finally found a friends, and decided to venture out. She then got so confident we COULDN'T get her to come home with us, but finally managed. I was proud of her, and happy she is making friends in the neighborhood. I remember growing up as a child that I was always outdoors, and had friends on my block to play with. In fact one of my best friends was right down the block. I remember my mom calling to make sure I could walk down to her house, and then calling to make sure I arrived there safely. There wasn't a worry that someone may take me on the way to a friends house. We played until dark or until we heard our fathers whistle signaling us to come home. Once we got home we were filthy and there was no arguing a bath was needed. Things are different now though. Although it seems Emily has made a friend that just moved into the neighborhood just like Em has, andddddd she is right down the block...hooray! They ride the bus home together, and even walk up and down the block together. I am rather protective of my child so it's great that she has a friend so close. Now I just have to let go some and as Emily said tonight quit "following her around". lol! So one of the highlights of the evening was the child safety cards the police issued. They basically take your child's height, weight, hair color, eye color, finger print and then take a picture of them. This is all on file and a card if given to you if God forbid they get lost of turn up missing. Well the highlight was them getting Jude's tiny little finger prints on his card. Everyone was laughing at the itty bitty fingerprint.
On another note Jude got up at 4am this morning, and decided he was going to stay up and play..............SIGH! About 6am I handed him off to his dad and went back to sleep until........oh ........6:15 when my alarm went off to get Emily up. It was greatness people sheer greatness. I finally got him to go back to sleep about 8:15 by cuddling him very closely in the bed next to me. We slept together until about 10:30 when Jude had one of his famous poo's!
Oh, I forgot to mention that when Emily came home today she walked through the door then burst into tears. I just looked at her confused and hugged her tight near tears myself. She finally said some little boys on the bus made fun of her arm hair, and called her an anteater...ugh......poor kid. So Mikey said he would have a conversation with them if needed, and that made her laugh. Turns out our area is having a contest for the best house decorated for Halloween...really???? is there a contest at all? Our house ROCKS on Halloween. lol! No joke. I will have to post a pics from last year. Let's see what those little boys say now... meanies!
So my next sewing project will be Emily's Halloween costume. She wants to be a Zombie cheerleader (yes my child likes scary costumess....lol). So we shall see how it turns out. I explained in a prior blog that I love arranging parties so I am having fun getting everything ready for her big Halloween bday party. Also, my sister is getting married next year, and I am thrilled to be contributing ideas. I am trying to help Kay get a few things together for my sisters special day. I also want to give her a shower which will be lots of fun for hopefully she and I both. I still wish I could get the wedding facility up and going at some point. It's one of those things in life when you just know it would be successful.
If you haven't noticed this is the first week in awhile I have ZERO doctors appointments!!!!!!! Next week I have my 6 week Ob appt. I don't have another platelet count until the end of the month, and Jude's check up will be then as well. I measured his head today and it's grown to almost 14 so my understanding is that any growth is good. Mike looked at me tonight and said "He is just so normal there is nothing wrong with our baby". That made me smile. No there isn't anything wrong with him, and it never will be in our eyes.
I now have to go chase my kid upstairs because she won't mind me and go to bed I can hear the 1....2.......2 1/2.... coming on. I will post some pics!
Jude with his daddy
Ps. I should have named this random all over the page in subjects blog.
Monday, October 6, 2008
So I have a bunch to talk about again tonight, but I will try to limit some of my rambling. Jude has been a bit of a grumpy butt today, but I think it's just gas. He was wonderful with his dad while I took a bath ( of course), and after said bath I found Jude sleeping on his dads chest, which was very cute. Emily was a good little girl today for the most part. Although, after Mike and I finished our dinner (and Em hadn't she is a slow eater) I did find her muching on a cookie when she had not finished her fish. This created a conversation between Mike and I on our mothers. We were both loved, and spoiled .....but both our mothers knew how to discipline (B4 mine passed) if needed. I even knew the sound of the drawer where the wooden spoon was stored. and Mike said his mom would have thrown the cookies away. You have to grasp the concept of this because Mike is the baby of 7, and ADORED by his mom. I mean the woman still cooks him lunch....which is very cute. Yet when he was little she knew how to tell him no and for him to get a grip. All this also came about because Em was telling me I was "mean" for making her clean her room the night before. As my cousin says I am a bit of a softie which is true, but Em does have her chores and they have to be completed. Her dad and I have had conversations on whether chores are important or not. He thinks that extra curricular activities and school activities should come first. I believe that grades, and chores come before you get to do ANYTHING extra whether it be school clubs, or other clubs. That's just my opinion though. Her dad is very good to her though, and always supports me. So Em got preached too about how if she was "us" she would have been experiencing things differently....OH MY we are our mothers!
Next subject........work.........sigh. Something I don't blog in detail about except to say I miss being with Sarah. I like my boss, and I like my job, but there wasn't great preperation made for my maternity leave. Thus Sarah M has been left in a rather unfortunate predicament, and I truly feel for her. Also, we cannot seem to keep additional help in our office because ...........well we just cannot (long story). So people keep leaving, and Sarah reaps to worst of it. It's hard to grasp the full concept of everything she is having to do from emails, to phone calls, to new business, to agent emails, to replacement costs, mail, warning calls, etc etc etc. My cousin was filling in as much as possible, but she has a very full schedule with her family. Honestly, there is no way I could work with three kids so I am very impressed she filled in for awhile. So I was hoping that my boss might also see mine and Sarah M's true value, and raise her salary and pay my additional insurance cost from Jude. Sigh, I guess that's not going to happen though. I have a job though, and I am grateful for that.
As stated in prior emails my 1 year anniversary is coming up in the next few weekends. My cousin is keeping Jude so we can have a night alone. I set up the hotel she got us, and the breakfast the next morning. I thought I would also arrange meeting our friends out somewhere since I have not had time out with them in some time. Although, it seems my hubby has other plans and something up his sleeve which I think is VERY CUTE! I am normally the huge planner and not used to men taking charge. I had mentioned to him that I had done everything else, and was not planning dinner so I guess he got it. I have a good hubby!
Oh and before I leave for the night it seems Jude is now fitting in 0-3 vs newborn and that makes me happy. I had someone over here this weekend, and she kept mentioning how little his head was :(. I know she meant the best, but it still worried me that he still has issues. He seems so normal to me though, and we just adore him!!! I guess all babies vary in size though, because Jude was longer than her little boy and he was 3 months. He has eaten so much today too. He eats so much more than Em ever did, and I am having a hard time keeping up with him. Also, I got on the scale today and was down 4 pounds!!!!!!!!!! How that happened in 1 night I have no idea so it had to just be water weight and will come back. I am encouraged though, and yes I am still walking. I am off to try to sleep a few hours.
Recent pic of my two kiddo's:
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Mike: The baby hates me
Me: The baby does not hate you babe (I can hear said baby screaming in the background)
Mike: No really he hates me
Mike: Because he waited until you left and had the biggest poo EVER. Then he started screaming so I went to change him, but he did it again.
Me: He did what again?
Mike: He continued to poo when I got the diaper off so it's all over the changing table. So I freaked out and then he pee'd all over me.
Me: laughing hysterically
Mike: Now he won't quit crying and I have to clean this up.
Me: He will be ok just console him when you can
Mike: It was like a playdoh machine when you push the lever and it keeps coming out.
Me: Well sometimes that happens when you wipe their booty......you know.....um....hole because it relaxes them and they poo more.
Mike: There is a button??? No one told me there was a button...there should be a sign that says don't push here!!!
Me: (Now laughing hysterically) there is no button honey!
Mike: Well he is just screaming. (So he picks him up and he stops then he does this sad whimper) Oh I don't like the sad whimpers
Me: Oh See I don't like the screaming because that means he is really unhappy the sad whimpers is just him wanting your attention...lol
Mike: Well his whole little bottomw lip comes out and well.....it works.
So I go about my few hours away and when I come back he hears my car and meets me in the driveway with the baby..lol. He had fun with him though and was so good. The changer was all cleaned up, Jude was in new clothes, and he had been fed. So Jude is being REALLY good today. He is acting more like himself so I am thinking he maybe had a little tummy bug the past couple of days. He slept very well last night, and today he is very smiley which is so cute! So I went shopping with my cousin for items to learn how to sew......(perplexed look). I got a very cute baby quilt kit that says "easy to sew" on it. Easy my ass. I need to know how to thread this machine first, and what does 1/4 seam mean, and sew right? Oh I am confused so I have poured myself a mimosa and sat down to watch King Kong..:). I am determined to learn though, but it seems a bit like Algebra to me right now. Oh the other funny thing my husband did? This is a bit TMI, but last night I was changing Jude's diaper and he was ......... standing at attention which little boys do. Mike walked in and looked down all he said was "wonder twin powers activate.........form of an ICICLE! I about fell off the bed laughing.
We are all in our Cowboys Jersey's today hoping the Boys don't fall short like they did last weekend. Here is Jude's outfit............yes we start em young here in Texas.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
"one day shy of eight years old, my grandma passed away i was a broken hearted little boy, blowing out that birthday cake how i cried when the sky let go, with a cold and lonesome rain, mamma smiled, said don't be sad child, grandma's watching you today
(chorus) cause theres holes in the floor of heaven and her tears are pouring down,
that's how you know she's watching,wishing she could be here now, and sometimes if your lonely, just remember she can see, there's holes in the floor of heaven, and she's watching over you and me, seasons come, and seasons go, nothing stays the same
i grew up, fell in love, met a girl who took my name
year by year, we made a life, in this sleepy little town
i thought we'd grow old together, Lord, i sure do miss her now
But there's holes in the floor of heaven,and her tears are pouring down,
that's how i know she's watching,wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes when i'm lonely, i remember she can see,
there's holes in the floor of heaven, and she's, watching over you and me,
well my little girl is twenty three, I walk her down the aisle
it's a shame her mom can't be here now, to see her lovely smile
they throw the rice, i catch her eye, as the rain starts coming down
she takes my hand, says daddy don't be sad,
cause i know mamma's watching now
And there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and her tears are pouring down,that's how you know she's watching,
wishing she could be here now, and sometimes when i'm lonely,
i remember she can see,yes, there's holes in the floor of heaven,
and she's, watching over you and me watching over you and me
watching over you and me"