Funny Husbands poop is for diapers

So I told my husband that his funny antics have been providing entertainment for my blog. He said he is glad that he can oblige...poor guy. So yesterday my hubby kept Jude so I could have some girl time, and go shopping with my cousin. I was barely on the highway when my phone rings and it's my poor husband on the line. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Hello?
Mike: The baby hates me
Me: The baby does not hate you babe (I can hear said baby screaming in the background)
Mike: No really he hates me
Me: why?
Mike: Because he waited until you left and had the biggest poo EVER. Then he started screaming so I went to change him, but he did it again.
Me: He did what again?
Mike: He continued to poo when I got the diaper off so it's all over the changing table. So I freaked out and then he pee'd all over me.
Me: laughing hysterically
Mike: Now he won't quit crying and I have to clean this up.
Me: He will be ok just console him when you can
Mike: It was like a playdoh machine when you push the lever and it keeps coming out.
Me: Well sometimes that happens when you wipe their booty......you know.....um....hole because it relaxes them and they poo more.
Mike: There is a button??? No one told me there was a button...there should be a sign that says don't push here!!!
Me: (Now laughing hysterically) there is no button honey!
Mike: Well he is just screaming. (So he picks him up and he stops then he does this sad whimper) Oh I don't like the sad whimpers
Me: Oh See I don't like the screaming because that means he is really unhappy the sad whimpers is just him wanting your attention...lol
Mike: Well his whole little bottomw lip comes out and well.....it works.

So I go about my few hours away and when I come back he hears my car and meets me in the driveway with the baby..lol. He had fun with him though and was so good. The changer was all cleaned up, Jude was in new clothes, and he had been fed. So Jude is being REALLY good today. He is acting more like himself so I am thinking he maybe had a little tummy bug the past couple of days. He slept very well last night, and today he is very smiley which is so cute! So I went shopping with my cousin for items to learn how to sew......(perplexed look). I got a very cute baby quilt kit that says "easy to sew" on it. Easy my ass. I need to know how to thread this machine first, and what does 1/4 seam mean, and sew right? Oh I am confused so I have poured myself a mimosa and sat down to watch King Kong..:). I am determined to learn though, but it seems a bit like Algebra to me right now. Oh the other funny thing my husband did? This is a bit TMI, but last night I was changing Jude's diaper and he was ......... standing at attention which little boys do. Mike walked in and looked down all he said was "wonder twin powers activate.........form of an ICICLE! I about fell off the bed laughing.
We are all in our Cowboys Jersey's today hoping the Boys don't fall short like they did last weekend. Here is Jude's outfit............yes we start em young here in Texas.