Friday, October 3, 2008


Good Friday to everyone! Emily just left with her dad because it's his weekend with her. He drives out here to pick her up on his weekends, and I drive to pick her up on Sundays. We are a bit out in the country so it is a great set-up. Yes, we are the products of a prior marriage that failed, but she has a good daddy and a great step dad so she is a lucky girl. Mike went to go help a friend with some texturing on a wall and I am here at the house. I am now enjoying some quiet me time which hence leads me to my blog. I am trying to enjoy the quiet time, but my cat Angel has decided to terrorize a box a delivery came in. Plus nails on a board, and airhorn are screeching in the backyard again (see below). Jude has been fed and is sleeping away in his car seat..........yes he is in his car seat makes him happy people! He is enjoying the sunlight streaming through the window. Notice how his feet cross like he is truly relaxed?
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He is a bit tired today because he went to sleep at midnight last night, and got up at two. He then stayed awake until.............drum roll..............SEVEN! No I am not joking. I am not sure why he did that because it is very out of character for him. His daddy took off today so as he explained that in my tired state I would not "diaper the baby's head, and put a onsie on his butt".
So let me explain my hilarious moment of the day. Jude created a very LARGE poo poo which may have been needed and the cause of some of his issues last night, and Mike offered to change him. He was trying to clean him which was created a laundry list of issues. First Jude pooped again all over the wipey, he then urinated all over the bed, and then Mike sat the diaper on the ground. This reads like a bad B movie so I am sure you can see what is coming. The baby then started screaming which really makes Mike nervous so he took a step backwards and stepped right in the poo! I am sorry, but as a mom that's funny... I don't care who you are (as Candace says)! So he is standing there with urine on the sheets, poo on the wipey, poo all over his foot, while holding Jude's feet in the air, and Jude is screaming! Poor guy truly appreciated me today before he left to help his friend. So my husband was wonderful today though, and took Jude for about 3 hours this morning so I could sleep. Therefore, I didn't get any online work done today for my job, and I feel terrible about that. I guess that's why it's called maternity leave though, and I will put the guilt of being a working mom off a few more weeks and be ok with finishing my calls Monday. I think working moms struggle with the guilt of trying to be perfect for their office, and perfect at home. Only to finally realize there is no way to be perfect at both or even one so you just do the best you can. I have a new affinity for stay at home moms too because my time flies while I am here. I have no idea how you guys keep up!
So I could probably blog for hours tonight because I have so much running through my head. I was sitting in the bath tub last night thinking about issues that have arisen that I wanted to talk about. I had someone email me from my blog asking me how I dealt with my issues regarding Jude. She is a new mom dealing with the diagnosis of ventricumegaly for the first time, and my heart goes out to her. She described her anger as she left the sonographers office with the other happy women raving about their babies, and I related to her. I do my best to talk to moms dealing with these issues without enforcing my new found "ignorance is bliss" thoughts on them. I try to educate them and give them links to support forums (which there are not enough of). I just told her that everyone learns how to "deal". I haven't had the easiest life, but by no means has it been that bad either. In other words I believe "Someone elses story is always WORSE than yours or mine" When I lost my mom at 7 I learned to adapt without her. It doesn't mean to this day I still do not wish she was around because I do. I wish that she was here to help me with the baby, to see him, and hold him, etc. I have a lot of help though from family ...especially my cousin Sarah. My mom kept Sarah each day when her mom worked so we were really like sisters ,and always have been. Plus, I have been blessed with a second chance with my dad and Kay. They have been a huge help, and are always involved with Jude. So when confronted with tragic circumstances we just deal. Take Matt's blog link on my page for example.........that man is amazing. He lost his wife after a random blood clot affected her. I am not sure if you have read his blog, but his strength is amazing. He blogged about how his wife was getting up to take his daughter home from the hospital after bed rest and a c-section. I could relate when he said his wife paused when she saw herself in the mirror and said, "God I look like shit" because I did the exact same thing. He said he thought she looked pretty good, and you could tell he was a proud husband and daddy. Then the next thing he knew she said she felt dizzy, collapsed, and died from a blood clot. A young couple having their first child encountered a random horrible tragedy. He had to be wheeled out of the hospital holding his tiny daughter alone, and has since learned to adapt. He works through his emotions too on blogger, and I cannot imagine. So throughout my life when people say, "I cannot imagine going through what you have". Of course they can't.... just like I cannot relate to Matt, but we all are given our cards and we deal with what we are dealt. We learn from our issues, or we curl up into a ball and then go down the wrong path. Honestly, it's that cut and dry! You can either deal or not deal! You can decide to try to become a better person from your life experiences, or you can deal with your issues with drugs, sorrow, or more. I am not saying we don't all deal with depression after a tragic situation because I am sure we all do (I do). It's just what we finally do in the end that matters. In other words.......we move on and find our strength. Matt's episode helped me find mine.
So since I am rambling to no end today let's talk about dreams for a few minutes. What is your dream? To put a finer point on it .... what is your career dream. If someone gave you $100,000, and said the only thing you can use this for is for financial gain through employment... what would you do? We all have dreams of winning the lottery, and providing amazing financial security for their family, but we are talking about a job. I have always wanted to open a wedding facility. Anyone I know can tell you that my 1 true talent is hosting parties. There are many things I will be shy about, or admit I am just horrible at, but the one thing I am proudly great at is parties! I am great at ideas, invitations, colors, flowers, cakes, pulling people together, lights, sounds, etc. So the other day I am discussing wedding functions with my step mom who is also good at parties. She states she really thinks we should explore the business in more detail. So I am driving Emily to gymnastics and I notice a place across the street for lease that's a beautiful old home that has been re-done into commercial property ............ with get this....... a gorgeous big backyard. In addition I see a place next door for lease that is a large L shaped metal building..........the ONE thing that is HARD to find and would be perfect for receptions. The large metal building has a parking lot out front, and the house would be a perfect brides room, and even has a kitchen for caterers to hang out in. It's the perfect setting and almost like God was knocking on my head saying, "HEY STUPID!" lol! Only issue is it takes funds to get started (oh yeah that part...sigh...ha). In this case it wouldn't be nearly as much $$ as starting from the ground up because you are leasing, but still. So I sat there on the hood of my car while Em was in gymnastics envisioning all that I would have in the two places, and connecting them together. A beautiful gazebo, a rustic look to the metal building, trees with lights, and etc. My brain took off, and I knew that it would be an incredible business given the chance not just a dream. Ideally I think the best way to make money would be to lease the facility, and also do an all inclusive wedding. I know caterers,etc so that wouldn't be an issue. Anyway, now I just need about 50k (lol). It was a nice dream, and it made me smile......I like those dreams.
So as the guy on Pretty Woman says, "What's your dream". I would love to hear them. Leave me a comment and let me know.

Ps ~ I am thinking of making Jude Elvis for Halloween because of his sideburns! lol! I might have to sew an Elvis onsie

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