Fourth and Long

Last night when I got home Mike was again frustrated with Jude's lack of eating, and having to get Emily to softball practice made it worse. I think when he gets rushed it makes the non eating issue a huge deal, and makes it seem unmanageable. Honestly, Jude had eaten, but he seems to eat more at night than during the day. Once Emily and Mike got back from practice we sat down to eat a bit, and Jude played on his blanket. He likes to coo, and laugh while laying there, and I always wonder what he is laughing about. . Sometimes I feel sorry for Jude because of his issues, but he constantly reminds me with his sparkling laugh that he is happy, and that is all that matters. Depending on the severity of Jude's impairments as he grows he may never know cruelty, pain, or the other negative things in the world. I guess in the end.......that isn't such a bad thing.

So have I told you I love the Dallas Cowboys?? I do! My grandfather played in the NFL for the Bears, and the Giants years ago when they had leather helmets. I am therefore by nature a football lover, and my grandfather taught me to throw my arms up for a touchdown, by age two. It's a fond memory I have of my childhood. My grandfather always said he was conflicted when the teams he played for played Dallas, but in the end he was a true Dallas fan. He was drafted with Tom Landry, but they went to different teams, but he often talked of him fondly. Anyway, I love football season, and I am looking forward to the games just lurking around the corner. We have people over every night the Cowboys have a game. We make dinner, and everyone participates by bringing a dish. We then all crawl into Mike's bright Cowboy blue "man cave", and we all surround the TV. We yell, we scream, and yours truly has even fallen on the floor. Yep when Tony Romo fumbled the famed playoff ball I fell flat......I felt for him, but was so upset. My favorite football players are from my era, and I recall their games fondly because they were.....the "dream team". They consist of Michael Irvin, Emmit Smith, Troy Aikman, Moose Johnson, and Deion Sanders. So to my great surprise, "Fourth and Long" came out this season starring Michael Irvin, and he has brought in a host of all time great players to help him pick one man for the Cowboys training camp. The group consists of prior candidates for the NFL that for one reason or another didn't make it. My husband, and I watch these second chance players battle out for a spot, and give it everything they have got. I have watched these men work to the point of throwing up on the field, and to the point of seeing their bodies break down. I watch in awe because I know I could not personally accomplish that type of work out. Although, I sat there last night watching the plays thinking to myself how this battle for Jude has been much like football. We are the key players that have lined up to go to battle for Jude, and to give our team everything we have. Without us being strong we will never make it through so despite our injuries we must brush ourselves off, and keep playing. We also have our defense, Offense, and Special teams geared up to take tackles, and blows for our baby. In the end of the game each day we are sometimes beaten up to the point we feel we cannot go on, but to win the spot we know we must. So therefore we ice ourselves down, we see our trainer, and we move forward to in the end win our superbowl for Jude!! I know that football players train hard for their roles in life, but we had no training regarding our baby having a stroke. It was unexpected, and we were unsure how to handle it. No one plans on anything ever happening to their child, but you just deal with it. We still get told, "I just couldn't handle having a disabled child". Sure you could, you have to, and you want to. You will do whatever it takes to protect and nurture your child. I also wondered if Jude would ever be able to love football as much as we do. We know we will never see him play in a pee wee game, but we currently help him participate in one of our favorite past times. My dad bought him a tiny Cowboys outfit, a bib to match, and a little bity Cowboys football to hold during the games.

I don't talk about this much, because I normally keep private that I was able to attend. My friend Dennis invited us to Michael Irvin's 2007 induction to the hall of fame party. I took my husband who said he was going to marry me three times for inviting him. We walked around the room sprinkled with sports greats of my early adulthood, and I was in awe. I was not star struck, but awe struck by the great players of my generation in all their glory. I shook Emmit's hand, and Michaels, and I went home a very happy girl!

Here are some pictures they took when we came through the door, and Emmit and myself

I was never able to watch a game in the old stadium, and with the rates in the new stadium I am not sure I will there either. Although, someday I would like to go, and I hope we can make that happen.

After we watched Fourth, and Long I gave Jude a 6 ounce bottle. He fought with me for a minute, and then took the entire bottle without stopping in about 4 minutes!! He then fell fast asleep, and slept through the whole night. I am hoping that we might be getting back on track, but again it's a roller coaster we ride with dips, and turns. I did talk to Jude's neurologist yesterday who confirmed that his lack of eating, and waking up at night can 100% be neurological. He informed me that we needed to watch Jude's weight, and if it started to decline they might look into a temporary G button for him. I do not want that to happen, and honestly I doubt it will. Jude is still gaining weight according to his last pediatrician visit. I have noticed that Jude is also getting a lot more phloem in his throat, but the good news is he coughs, and gets it out. I hope that this is an indication that he will have little problems with aspiration, but I am unsure if it is. I told Mike last night that I have noticed Jude looking directly at me a lot more. Before he would look at me, and seem to get a bit overwhelmed, and turn his head quickly. Now he really looks at me, and will even flash a little grin when he sees me. Another thing we have noticed is that Jude is turning his head to find voices, including turning to the left. He would not turn to the left before because that is his most affected side from the stroke. Jude is also working hard to keep his head up a lot more. Yesterday I found myself getting my hopes up that he will indeed eventually keep his head up, and maybe have a chance to walk. I am curious to know how long it took for other CP babies to learn to keep their head up, if they did. If you have any feedback I would appreciate it.

Thank you for indulging my long post today. I will leave you with some pics from last night.