Well it's been a crazy week! So far I have fallen, and I now have what looks like pink eye in both eyes, and feel like poo. Oh well, I will get over it.
Last night was a terrible experience with Jude. I didn't feel well so I went and laid down early, and took Jude with me. I knew he needed to eat so I asked Mike to make sure he got his last bottle, and medications if I fell asleep. I began to drift off when I heard the terrorists (aka Mikes bad dogs) begin to bark, and this woke me up. At that time Mike began to get Jude's medications and formula ready, and decided to feed him in our room. Jude was refusing his bottle, and was getting very upset. When Jude doesn't want to eat, he also doesn't want anything in his mouth, including medications. Jude began throwing a terrible fit, and choking on his medication as they went down his throat. We have no choice but to administer the meds so Mike had to keep struggling with Jude. The more Jude screamed the more upset Mike got. Finally, Jude got to the point that he was so upset that I knew he was going to throw up. I began to hear Jude gagging, and then as predicted he lost everything. Poor Mike had to change his shirt, and I sat trying to calm the baby down. He was doing the breathless cry, hiccups, and gasps that you have after a very good fit. Once I got him calmed down I gave him a bit of Tylenol which he didn't mind, and then snuck in the rest of the Depakene. Let me tell you his feelings were HURT! Mom is who he runs to when he is upset, and the fact I gave him his seizure medications really upset him. He cried for at least ten minutes with intermittent screams mixed in. Mike, and I both felt terrible, and it's heart wrenching to hear Jude cry so much. He is normally a happy quiet baby, so when he puckers out his bottom lip, and wails it's very sad.
As of this morning at 10am, Jude has only taken an ounce, so he is very behind in eating. It seems we have great days where he eats normal, and then down days where he eats terrible. I am encouraged to hear from other mothers of stroke victims that this is rather normal. In fact, Katy told me she had issues with her son eating, but now he eats solids. I am crossing my fingers Jude makes progress in this area. I am also about to defy doctors orders, and try a tiny bit of pediasure with the medication. I am thinking that the vanilla taste may spark Jude's interest. We are a month from his first birthday so this should be acceptable.
I felt bad leaving him today, and Mike's frustration level did rise again when trying to feed Jude. He has called his mom over who has the patience of Mother Theresa, so I know Jude and Mike will both be okay. I am hoping I can make it through the day today because I need the hours at work. My bed, my pillow, and my tv sound really nice though.