I was going to blog last night, but I really couldn't find the exact words I wanted to type. I have a friend that suffered a tragedy yesterday, and my heart aches for them. I don't want to go into names, in case someone is reading this that knows them. I am sure she will come out in time, and let everyone know. A small handful of people are aware, and they will understand this blog.
I had a family member call to let me know what happened, and I immediatley went to the hospital yesterday to see my friend. By the time I got to her room I was shaking like a leaf. I am sure it was from being back in familiar surroundings, but I was determined to pull myself together. It always seems that when people are faced with a difficult situation they are to busy making everyone else feel better that they forget to care for themselves. I wanted to make sure I was not one of those people that was overly upset, the focus needed to be on her.
I am still unsure why bad things happen to good people. My cousin so eloquently said , "I used to believe in Karma, that bad people get what they deserve. Although, what did they ever do? What did you do? I just don't know what to believe anymore". Sometimes we don't realize how ones crisis can affect another persons life. What other people learn through our hardships, and what we as individuals learn. We all know that when a difficult situation arises we all just want to help, but we really cannot help much. That's how I felt yesterday looking at my friend in her hospital bed... I felt helpless. Mike tried to do something for them yesterday, and without going into detail he felt helpless as well. I came home to him last night sitting in his chair in front of his computer crying so hard he was doing the rapid breathing. I just patted him on his back and walked on. Sometimes I am great in a difficult situation, and sometimes I cannot deal. I let Mike cry his emotions out, and feel for his friends. We knew without speaking that Mike could partially understand their pain, and therefore he needed to cry for them.
This same friend told me at one point, "Pregnancy is scary". Think of the profound statement that makes, and how powerful it is. Most women would never think of that comment, and I hope they never will have to. Some women know just how scary it can be, and see things, and learn medical terminology they never should. When I left out of her room yesterday I looked back to realize that I was selfish, I learned I don't own all the pain in this world. I have blogged about this person before. We are not super close, but friends. I admire her, and she is a very good person. She could use some extra prayers today. I remember being told as a child that if two or more people gather in Gods name than their prayers will be answered. Maybe we can get a whole fleet of people to pray.
I went home last night, and hugged both of my kids. Jude smiled at me really big, and then he fell fast asleep in my arms. The holidays are hard for us because of Jude's disabilities, but this year I will just be thankful he is with me.
Much love to my friend, just know I wish I could do something for you.