Wednesday, December 9, 2009

T'was the night before Christmas ~ Insurance style

Since my blog has been laced with stressful moments lately, I thought I would share a funny. There is a handful of people I know that will find this post very funny! I have been in the insurance industry since 1992, and trust me this funny below is pretty accurate. I catch myself looking at potential hazards wherever I go.

T'was the Night Before Christmas ~ Insurance Style:

T'was the night before Christmas (12:01 A.M. EST 12/25/2008) and all through the house (single family, masonry veneer, 1 1/2 story with basement, 1128 ground floor sq. ft., territory 68, PC 1) Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse (due to good upkeep of residence.) The stockings were hung by the chimney (contractor installed??) with care in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there (in spite of dead-boltlocks and ADT central station alarm system, certificate on file.) The children (ages 4,8,14 & 16) were all nestled snug in their beds (check
MVR on 16 year old - possible undisclosed driver) While visions of sugar
plums danced in their heads. Mama in her kerchief (scheduled heirloom?)and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winters nap (check employment - is insured sleeping all day?) When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter (check into condition of premises, housekeeping etc), I jumped out of bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, threw back the curtains
and tore open the sash (intentional destructive act - no coverage.) What to my wondrous eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and 8 tiny
reindeer (check if sleigh rated business use and corporate owned). Witha little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be
St. Nick (order medical on 600 year old driver). More rapid than eagles (check MVR for speeding violations) his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name (possible aggressive driver?): Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, now Vixen, OnComet, on Cupid, on Donner, and Blitzen (possible DUI?) To the top ofthe porch (enclosed or open?) to the top of the wall (check forstructural damage), Now dash away, dash away, dash away all. So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys and
St. Nicholas too (check for possible retail delivery classification ofautos).
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof the prancing and pawing ofeach little hoof (check for shingle/roof damage). As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.He was dressed all in fur (scheduled item?) from his head to his foot and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot (when was chimney
last cleaned?). A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes how they twinkled, His dimples how merry, His cheeks were like roses, His nose like cherry (order updated medical report, possible alcohol abuse). The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth (note -not eligible for non-smokers discount) And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath (check batteries in smoke alarms to make sure operational).
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (home invasion,stranger enters past alarm and insured not worried? Possible moral risk). He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings then turned with a jerk. And laying his finger side of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" (Check hours of operation, 24hr service operations prohibited. Also check into seasonal nature of business and limits of liability).

Jude is still doing better, but he is still up until 2am. We have to give him the Flagyl every six hours so he may be anticipating the medication. We hope that he gets back to his regular scheduled programming soon!!


Holly Mackerel said...

That was funny!!!

Midwest Mommy said...

Seriously that's what it is like? lol

Katy said...

Ahhh, insurance.

Charlie's schedule is all messed up too! I had to give him a PB&J at four-thirty this morning.

It's me, Charlie's mom BTW--I'm just signed into the wrong account.

x o x o u i said...

I think you are missing a few class codes up in there, and let's not forget about the experience rating modifier!!! Woot!!! Workers' Comp Underwriter in da House, yeahhhh!! ;-D

Marie said...

That was hilarious!
I just went back and read up on Jude's recent hospitalization. I'm so glad that you figured out what it was and were able to bring Jude home.
When Jack has scheduled surgery, we go to Medical City Dallas, too. That is an awesome hospital!
I'll be keeping you, Mike, Emily, and Jude in our prayers.