As of 1:30 Jude has taken 16 ounces so far today, he looks more like himself, and he just wants mommy to hold him. Although, I am catching a quick break while he is in his crib making his barnyard toy go off repetitively. I keep hearing "moooo", "cheep cheep", etc. I am so happy to see Jude looking better, and I have some hope that our Christmas may be alright after all.
Before we took Jude to the hospital I was holding Jude in the bath, and he was just so pale, and limp. I was so worried about him, so it's so great to see him pink, and smiley. The antibiotics seem to be working, and I pray they will continue to work. Even tho we will probably travel down the road of a G tube I am glad we held off for a bit. Jude does not aspirate, and even tho it's hard to give him his medications, I hate to see him go through surgery right now. I am also so thankful that Jude is no longer attached to wires, machines, and more, and I can hold him any time I want to. According to every doctor we have seen now this fully establishes Jude as a true fighter, and in my mind there is no telling what he will accomplish.
Last night I finished wrapping the Christmas gifts I had purchased so far, and then Jude and I admired our tree. I shopped on my lunch yesterday to get the said Christmas gifts, and I have to admit I was a bit jealous when I saw all the toys for Jude's age. I got him Elmo Tickle hands, and a giant caterpillar to lay on because he cannot use the other toys. I am thankful he is with us so I feel ashamed I was jealous, but I do wish he could play with them. Maybe someday he will!!
While Jude was at his sickest this past week I had someone in a nice way ask me if it might be better for him, and for us that Jude...............well..............not make it. I know that sounds shocking, but she didn't ask in a mean way, it was just natural curiosity. I can firmly answer that would be a definitive NO, Jude is our son, and our family, and we want him with us as long as possible. If he were suffering my mind might be different, but he isn't, and I think he is making great strides. I am still SO encouraged that Jude's EEG showed actual improvement, and great improvement. I really hope he will continue to succeed.
Speaking of Christmas we are debating...............debating getting the one Christmas gift Em has asked for for YEARS. If you know me you know what I am talking about, but I don't want to make our lives anymore complicated. I have held off for a really long time, and I may again this year. I am debating tho.........which is the closest I have ever been to saying "yes". Em deserves a good Christmas, but I do have to take everything into consideration.