Pulse ox is low, heart rate is high, this little mommy says sigh sigh sigh

Have you ever had those moments when taking care of your child that you knew something was wrong? A mommy intuition that something is just..........not...................right?  I just feel like there is something going on with Jude. It's one of those feelings I wish was wrong. When analyzing work and our current situation I know it would be best that Jude stays as healthy as possible until 2015! A strange assessment but the honest truth! Well I prefer he stays better forever.

When Charlotte got here today to care for Jude while I went to work I explained that Jude has been very happy, but a bit off. Throughout the night his pulse ox kept setting the alarms off. I was up and down repositioning him, lifting his arm, and calling his name. When his continious feed alarm sounded around 5am I was pretty much just beat and I think Jude was too. So we both drifted off for a good two hours worth of sleep with everything perfectly stable! Mike left for work and we both still slept comfortably.

Charlotte said that Jude's pulse ox dipped several times for her as well and he slept until almost 11am. Not like him. She also said he vomited today......ugh! Ironically I had placed a call to Jude's GI this morning explaining that Jude has gone three plus consecutive days without vomit and that we had learned we had to keep his night feed consecutive and not raise the feed more than 70ml. If we did raise it above 70ml he vomited everywhere. I thought we may have found the magic feed rates to keep him from getting ill.

Let's fast forward to tonight. I placed Jude in his bed......changed his poopie diaper which he thought was HILARIOUS! I kissed him over and over and told him goodnight. I gave him his medications and slowly crept out of the room. Mike and I were enjoying some TV when we thought we heard something so I paused the TV..........but we didn't hear anything. Finally Mike got up and we heard something else so Mike walked to Jude' room. Suddenly I heard Mike YELLING "come here......lights lights.......I bet he has aspirated!!" UGH! Jude had thrown up again. " He was choking" Mike yelled. Double UGH! His vital monitor was on and it dipped to the low 90's with a heart rate in the high 160's. I got him cleaned up and changed his shirt and slowly the vitals started balancing out to normal (whew). Did you know if someone aspirated you can (sometimes) tell within an hour.

I told Mike that I had informed the neurologis today that there may be some issues and that there office mentioned a possible virus. He said, "this isn't a virus this is the spinal fluid leak". We both know it, but there isn't much we can do but wait and see. Jude is always a wait and see. I did pick Jude up tonight off his back and placed him on a pillow so I could hold him, kiss him, and talk to him like I normally do. He smiled SO big, but maybe it was so much for his back. Maybe it's our want to be with him that inhibits his progress but we aren't putting him in his wheelchair and he does need tie to sit up.

I am hoping that Jude has a restful night and that he is actually getting better and that I am very wrong!