We have a habit in America of coming to expect certain sort of lives and when that dream is shattered it can really open your eyes. Along our journey we have met people like us that had every expectation of having the perfect pregnancy only to learn it wasn't. We have met people that expected to have a football playing straight A son and like us........they don't. We have met mothers who are teary when they tell us that their beautiful daughter that was once so lively and happy has been permanently disabled in a car wreck. Likewise we have met those that lost their child all together.
When things like this happen people tend to move through stages of grief. I personally went through depression, selfishness, anger, lashing out, and finally acceptance. I am sure it took a lot of patience from friends and family to see through my actions and understand where they were coming from. Finally you reach that acceptance and marching forward state. I found you move a little slower, you think a little deeper, and you love a little harder. I recently started eliminating activities out of my life. I think I did so much because it kept me busy.......it kept me going, but I found I just don't need that anymore. I am okay with being still and taking in the light of the day that shines on my two kids. I try to stop and think now before I say anything, before I make a move, and before I might hurt someone. I ask myself "is it worth it?". I am not saying I don't make mistakes because I do. I still go through sadness at times and a profound amount of sleepless nights. This makes one a bit cranky. However, life has a way of changing when you realize what is truly important in life. To me....people are important. We meet all kinds of people in life and some become our friends and some are our family. I believe you wouldn't become friends with someone unless you saw a little piece of yourself in them. If you saw the good and I think the good can always be salvaged. Sometimes we just need a little understanding, sometimes we need a little break, but in the end if you look close I think anything can be salvaged and that deep down as Anne Frank said "despite everything I believe people really are good at heart".
My daughter posted this yesterday and I am sure many of you have seen this You Tube of Madea, but I haven't. If you look it up on you tube you can research Madea's tree speech.
"If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let - them - go!"
Some people are meant to come into your life for a lifetime, some for only a season and you got to know which is which. And you're always messing up when you mix those seasonal people up with lifetime expectations.
I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. When the wind blows, they're over there... wind blow that way they over here... they're unstable. When the seasons change they wither and die, they're gone. That's alright. Most people are like that, they're not there to do anything but take from the tree and give shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't get mad at people like that, that's who they are. That's all they were put on this earth to be. A leaf.
Some people are like a branch on that tree. You have to be careful with those branches too, cause they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong but the minute you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry.
But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that's like the roots at the bottom of that tree you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that aren't going nowhere. They aren't worried about being seen, nobody has to know that they know you, they don't have to know what they're doing for you but if those roots weren't there, that tree couldn't live.
A tree could have a hundred million branches but it only takes a few roots down at the bottom to make sure that tree gets everything it needs. When you get some roots, hold on to them but the rest of it... just let it go. Let folks go."
I have had to let some people go. Doesn't mean I don't still love them and think about them all the time because I do. I also have some pretty large roots too so I consider myself one of the lucky ones.I guess it's the same with letting things go that were keeping me busy. We just get to a point that it's okay to sit back and soak it all in.
Life teaches you to say thank you. So thank you to my leaves, thank you to my branches, and thank you most of all to my roots!
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