one flew over the cuckoo's nest

My headache went away about 5am this morning, and even though Jude was up 5 times last night I feel GREAT! A good migraine will remind you how great you feel without a headache, regardless of other ailments. Jude had a pretty good night prior to going to sleep, but he wanted to be held constantly. I have been OVERLY emotional lately, so at one point I just started crying last night. I text Mike and told him I feel like I have lost my sanity, and him. He came downstairs, and I think he knew I was just at my wits end. I cried about how he gets a break during the day with Respite, but I feel like I get none. I explained how I run all day everyday. For instance yesterday I worked, then came home and went to the grocery store, made dinner, and then took Jude. It was 10:30, and I hadn't even had a bath, I was losing my brains!! I guess we all feel like this every now and then.

So let me explain why I probably lost my marbles, and boys might want to tune out. Being a woman isn't easy, we have crazy emotions boiling through our brain, and issues monthly that no one should deal with. I have been on Zovia (birth control) for so long that coming off of it is leaving me reeling! Although, since I have been off I haven't had anymore chest pain at all, and my blood presure is back to normal. Although, I am probably certifiably crazy right now, and the wretched pain in my abdomen compares to labor, BLEH! As teenagers we wrestle with dealing with monthly issues, as adults we wrestle with birth, and as seniors we lose all our hormones so we are even more crazy. When do us women get a break, huh?

Anyway, we will skip past my woes, because despite my craziness I feel pretty good today. I heard back from MDCP (medically dependent children's program) yesterday, and they advised me they have already been informed that Jude's situation has deteriorated, and therefore they should be fine with increasing his respite hours. In addition ECI is also ramping up to give Jude 10 respite hours so this should help some with losing the nurse. We are taking Jude into the GI doctor to schedule his G button surgery. Several people I have talked to in the industry seem to think we won't have an issue getting Jude's nurse back, but we shall see. We miss how attentive our nurse was to Jude, and he just loved her. If I cannot be there everyday then it made me feel better she was. Mike is wonderful with Jude, but sometimes daddy's need a break, and a little help. The lady at MDCP was so nice, and very helpful. She sympathized with our situation, and said she would get us the most help possible.

The good news is Jude kept his food down yesterday, which is a blessing. I am pretty tired of cleaning up puke, and will sure be glad when he gets through this phase. He also did well in therapy yesterday, and is making more audible sounds.

I am considering hunting a sitter for this weekend, so Mike and I can have a date night, I think we need it. Also, remember that May is Stroke awareness month. Strokes are one of the top ten killers in children afflicting 6 in every 100,000 kids. 1 in 4000 babies will be affected by a stroke, that's a staggering amount. Help support stroke research to stop this affliction.