Tonight while putting up the dishes I pulled a Christmas present Jude received out of the dishwaser. I had opened the sweet gift my cousin gave him that was an entire dish set with a cute rodeo cowboy on it. One of the items in the set was a sippy cup with a plastic piece that fit sunggly on top. I held it in my hand for a minute prior to putting it in the cabinet with a blank look. Mike said a bit concerned "what babe"? I kind of did that movie this is unfair half laugh and replied, " its strange the way you look at everyday items when you are told you have a child that will be different. With Em I was wondering how to get her OFF a sippy cup, and with Jude I just hope he can TAKE a sippy cup". Mike hugged me tight, and he assured me Jude would beat the odds. We then shared in laughs over Ellens blog about Max knocking his sisters paci out of her mouth. Max had a bilateral stroke too, but has accomplished more at 6 than they ever thought he would...he is a true miracle. He and his mother are also both inspirations to us. I told Mike how Max's parents both cheered with the sister paci attack, and how his sister probably responded like, "what in the world???". Yet knocking his sister paci out of her mouth in sibling rivalry was an accomplishment for Max. I have learned that one thing the brothers and sisters of special needs children will learn is empathy, and that is one great trait to have.
Mike got a bit down tonight after Jude had a VERY loud yelling seizure, but I looked at Mike and pointed out the positive things about tonight. Jude SMILED.....he SMILLLLLLLLLLLLLED in the bath with me tonight. It was brief and fleeting, but it was there and made my heart jump with joy. In addition Jude ROLLED over again from tummy to back!!! He was propped a tiny bit on a blanket, but he still rolled, and without being prompted. In addition he ate a lot of his baby food without any sort of thrust movement from his tongue. In addition when Emily's friends came over and talked in a baby voice direclty to Jude he looked right at them...individually. Such accomplishments in my eyes.
I have felt more gathered together this week, and at the same time I feel like I still fall apart at the seams. I know that makes no sense, but sometimes nothing does in my world these days. My actual words at home, and at work seem to be very mixed up from either stress, exhaustion, or who knows! All I know is I called spices - sleep earlier, and I thanked a customer when I shouldn't have because in the context at the time it made no sense..ha! Maybe it's just that I am getting older? Wait aren't I holding at 29?
Em did "go with" her boy I mentioned last night for an whole HOUR before she decided they were "to good of friends" and broke it off. She said "he just changed"....lol. He is now "going with" her friend Addie. Addie is spending the night though, and they just recently found out the said boy supposedly only "went with" Em to get to Addie and therefore........ the boy is now single. Ah the drama of 4th grade love! ;)