Stick a fork in me I am done

Ok don't get me wrong I am so thankful I am pregnant, that I have a good job, a wonderful husband, and so far Jude is looking much better. Although, I am done. lol!!!
Ever had one of those days near the end of your pregnancy? You know the day where you are trying on clothes, and you become convinced that you have to be as large as a small beached killer whale? Not to mention that you are so pasty from lack of tanning that you could scare Casper? Well picture me in Motherhood Maternity searching for the perfect baby shower outfit for my shower Saturday. After gathering a few cute pieces I then waddle into the changing room which is luckily made larger for us huge pregnant folk. There isn't any flattering lighting in these rooms.....no it's just cellulite and big tummy city people! So it seems that one positive is that despite my prior thoughts I do still wear a medium... although my boobs want to wear a large. Now if you have never been pregnant you cannot understand the complexity of maneuvering yourself in and out of outfits. It takes gasps of air, large leg lifts, and a workout in itself. So after completing my cardio for the day I am very annoyed that nothing looks good on me. I then put my old clothes back on and decide to tour the store once again, and thus picked up a few more items. While waddling back to my dressing room I noticed the "perfect" pregnant girl exiting from hers. She must be from Southlake because she bought half the store, obviously still got facials, and looked perfect so.......... I cursed her and moved on. Anyway after none of those outfits looked right either I went outside grabbed a very cute Baby university looking T- SHIRT, and decided on it, high heels, and jeans! If people don't like it TOUGH! I then muttered to myself on the way to the car, and called my darling husband. Who then heard me angrily say "I am FAT, ugly, pale, and I feel disgusting I couldn't find anything to wear and settled on a t-shirt. Not to mention my great blonde hair is now turning brown from the hormones and won't do ANYTHING, my feet are bigger, I am in pain, I am dizzy, and just plain done man stick a fork in me!" To which he replied "Well hun why don't you just get a t-shirt that says I am so pregnant that I feel fat, ugly, pale, and am frankly just pissed off. Oh and ps my hair looks bad". I had to laugh.