Forgiveness

So last night I sat down to watch my recorded episode of Extreme Home makeover. I love that show. I know the houses are over the top, but I still enjoy watching it. This episode was about a mother who had her child kidnapped merely 50 feet away from her. My heart broke for her, and I admit this is a huge fear of mine. I watch Emily like a hawk, and I know I should let her go a bit. At one point during the show they were talking about the mothers charity work. One worked hit the nail on the head when he said she works so hard because she hasn't forgiven herself yet.

I enjoy working, and have always delved into charity work, BUT I do not I have not personally forgiven myself yet. I know Jude had a stroke, but I have mentioned before that there is always the looming questions mothers deal with of "What did I do wrong". Eventually I will work through my emotions on that, but as of now I haven't yet. The show was emotional, and it touched me.

Tomorrow is my last day at work before we leave for Austin. I get to meet Anna who recently lost Katy. I also get to spend time with Maura who has Kayden who struggled with open heart surgery. Maura has followed my blog from the start, and I feel like I know her already. Her older daughter is doing the pageant with Emily, so we will get some great bonding time. Mike and Jude are coming along to support Em, and we are looking forward to our little trip away. I will update how Emily is doing when I get a chance. She starts competing on Friday night, and crowning will be Sunday. She will received her community service and presidential award for her charity on Sunday. Em doesn't like the attention she receives for her charity work, but she understands it's a great way to spread information about what she does, and therefore help more children.

Have a nice Tuesday.