Tragedy and something positive.

I had a tragedy strike this weekend with a long time friend who is also a client of mine. There is more detail, but I am not ready to go into it yet. Let's just say when I got the call it was a "You have got to be kidding me" moment. It's been awful and I am reeling from it not to mention how horrible I feel for his family.

So rather than going into that story I am going to share a good video of Jude. Overlook my squeaky mom voice and the camera cord that keeps getting in the way.

Therapy for Schizencephaly?

Periodically I like the research in regards to any new treatments for Jude's main medical condition which is Schizencephaly. I found this article which did a great job of explaining his condition cause by the stroke.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Schizencephaly-Treatment:-G-Therapy-Shows-Positive-Effects&id=5622402

It also led me to this website about a new therapy.
http://www.g-therapy.org/

I obviously cannot jet off to India, but it looks like they work with customers in the US via a primary contact in India.

I haven't read much on this therapy but it is encouraging to see that doctors are researching Schizencephaly.  My original research showed they were lacking information in regards to the disease.

Normally when we contact hospitals or therapy centers regarding Jude's condition (ie stem cell) we are told that Jude's case is to severe for them to take him on. We get that answer a lot with therapy equipment too. We finally understand that they want to try to help kids that have minor issues with mobility and have the opportunity to live "possibly" a normal life. Jude doesn't have that. Not every place is like this, but it is a common answer we receive. Honestly, I am happy with Jude's PT + OT and the life we live. Although, I do like to educate myself on what is out there.

A thank you and a lesson to us all whether it be pageants, softball, football...etc

Today a mother that attended Regal Princess with her daughter sent me a thank you note. It was such a blessing to receive such a warm greeting from someone with such a positive spirit. Her daughter took a face title and received a special crown. In her letter she sent me a thank you and then some wonderful advice. I would like to share you a synopsis.

"I just wanted to say thank you for having us at your pageant.  My daughter had a wonderful time. She made a few new friends and enjoyed everything. She was pleasantly surprised at her win and is so proud, and so am I. The crown was absolutely beautiful.

 I have also attached a photo of my oldest son with his Senior Prom (his sister was his date, she's awesome) he just turned 21 last week. The other photo is him in his Halloween costume from last year that I made him.  What a blessing he is to me and everyone who meets him. I found the Article by Erma Bombeck that someone gave me when my son was 6 and it changed how I feel for every day. I know where you are right now in your life and I know where you will be going.  Embrace each day no matter what.  There will be frustration, and its okay to not be a perfect mom, don't try to be because it will tear you down.  As long as you are doing the best you can that's all that matters.  Don't worry,  there will also be alot of days filled with joy. I promise!!"

When I opened the photo it showed her adorable 21 year old son crippled by Cerebral Palsy in his wheelchair next to his 12 year old sister. The picture melted my heart and I burst into tears. I cried because he had far outlived Jude's 5 year life expectancy and his mom had loved every moment of his life. I cried because her precious daughter hopefully learned that physical beauty is just physical but inner beauty lasts a lifetime. In fact I am sure she has learned that lesson.

Rather it be school, football, softball, skating, cheer, or pageants every person is brought into your life for a reason. You are led down a path because God has a purpose. Maybe mine was to meet this amazing mom. I am thankful for her bravery to reach out to me. You made a difference in my life today. Thank you.

Kentucky, Fire alarms, and learning to be gracious.

So as I stated Emily and I jetted off to Kentucky this weekend for AUE a pageant in Louisville and here is a synopsis. Friday night we got to the hotel and we went off to registration only to learn there were 230 kids registered. Yep TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY...lol. Nothing like a little competition. The hotel was gorgeous and so unique full of ornate woodwork and old dark doors. Once we were registered we got Emily to bed to get ready for the competition the next day.

Emily and I were able to sleep in a bit on Saturday because she didn't compete until the afternoon. Once we got up and had breakfast we were ready to go for the day. Then my phone rang and it was Mike.

Mike: Jude woke up with a really high fever
(I excused myself away from Emily)
Me: Oh no. Like how high?
Mike: 103 and climbing
Me: Take him to the ER
Mike: I am. I just wanted to let you know. If it's aspiration you know they will keep him.
Me: Well if it's something serious I will fly home. Let me know and I will figure things out from here.

So I decided to keep the news from Emily. She had worked hard for this weekend. Now let me explain. When someone tells you that a girl works hard for a pageant they mean it. That's one thing that Mike understood after he first watched Emily practice and he commented on it. He said, "Wow I get it. This is a sport". Girls that compete in say Miss Teen Texas don't win by just getting up there and standing there. They learn how to walk, how to articulate, they learn about the world, and they learn a talent. The harder you practice the better you are, just like when Emily does softball. So I didn't want to make her nervous about Jude until I knew what was going on. I called our friend Gina who is always a life saver. She offered to get me on the next flight home if needed and she would fly to stay with Emily. I told her I doubted Emily would stay if something serious was happening with Jude. I told her I was holding out hope that Jude would have something minor going on. The hotel had horrible phone reception so I kept having to leave Emily to check my phone. I knew she was catching on that something was up. She finally looked at me and said "Is Jude okay". I said "Well he is not feeling very well and I am just waiting on Mike to let me know how he is feeling" She seemed satisfied with that response.

Soon Emily was getting ready to compete and I just thought she was stunning!!  We rolled her long hair and our friend Michael styled her. Here are a few pictures from the weekend.

Emily ready for beauty. I loved this dress on her.

They had Rudolph out advertising their Christmas specials. Emily liked him.

This is Emily's friend Sydney. They competed in the same age group together. I had just bought them Shirley Temples and they were having fun.

Mike finally called from the hospital and said they had ran a battery of tests. At first they thought Jude had aspirated because his breathing sounded rattled so Mike was prepared to stay. They then came back and said the X ray was clear. So they gave Jude an IV of antibiotics and of fluid. They then took some blood and urine so make sure there wasn't an underlying blood infection. Then they sent Mike home. I felt terrible I wasn't there with them, but I was thankful Jude was alright. I then told Em what was going on, but that everything was alright and she was relieved.

After competition Emily and I went on a horse and carriage ride.......she loved it! It was the only thing she wanted after competition and for $20 we had to take a spin around Louisville. She giggled and smiled most of the way which made me happy. Once we got back we had dinner with several friends which was a lot of fun too. We finally retired.......exhausted from the day.

About 3:18am I hear "WHOOP WHOOP a fire has been reported please proceed to the nearest stairwell WHOOP WHOOP". I was so tired that it was one of those "am I dreaming" type of moments. When I finally got my senses about me I went to look out our door because I was sure this was a false alarm. I discovered the entire hotel evacuating and we seemed to be some of the last ones on the floor. EM RUN!!! Em "Where is my bra?? mommy can't go free as a bird!". She laughed and panicked at the same time. I finally found said holder and we darted out the door and down four flights of stairs. This was a great scene in the wee hours of the morning. 

It seems it was a false alarm so we all headed back to bed .......... only to hear "WHOOP WHOOP...." again. Sigh, back out of bed we go...back down the stairs and I said "will the drunk people PLEASE quiet pulling the fire alarm!" Emily giggled. It seems there were several bachelor and bachelorette parties about town that night.
Sunday was crowning and Emily was all ready to go. She knew she had done so well at interview and on stage. 

The crowning was very long! When they got to Emily's group we learned she placed in natural photo, print model, composite, interview and received 5th runner up. This meant she could still win a big title. So she came back to met and sat down and we waited. Once they got to the end I looked at Emily and saw her eyes tear up a bit.

Me: Emily! There were 230 gorgeous girls here this weekend. Did you have fun?
Em: yes a blast
Me: Did you do your best?
Em: yes I did
Me: Then that's what matters!
Em: I know I am just disappointed
Me: and that's perfectly okay. You are allowed to be disappointed. Think about it Em, Football teams get out on that field every week and work their hardest. Sometimes in the last two minutes of the game the other team wins and they have lost all that hard work they did, but they learn from it and move on. They also understand that the other team they were playing worked just as hard as they did. 
Em: I know mom. 
Me: Well good. It's up to you how to handle this 
Em: I had a great time and I will just get out there and try again. I want to go to the one in Dallas next month. 
Me: ummmm good attitude but we will see......let's get through this weekend first girl. 

Kid has spunk! Anyway, it was a wonderful weekend and Em and I had a great time together.  I got to market Regal Princess a lot and Emily talked to several people about her Smile Boxes. We did miss out first flight so we got back about 8:30pm last night. I came home to Jude irritable and not wanting to sleep. He then spiked a high fever again at about 3:00am. I gave him some Motrin which brought the fever back down again. We are suppose to watch him over the next five days. If he continues to spike fevers we will have to take him back in. Until then we are just suppose to use Motrin to help keep the fever under control. Also, Emily woke up with a sore throat today so my guess is it is something Viral. Also it seems our dog Biggy has separation anxiety when I am gone...not a good thing. Mike said he wouldn't come out of his crate and just wasn't himself.

This week starts the beginning of the back to school chaos! Emily starts school projects on Saturday. So my fall is going to be very busy!

Cowboys, Reunions, and Planes.

So last night I raced home to get the family to go to the Cowboys pre-season opener.  Charlotte had Jude all dressed up for the occasion. Charlotte truly is a gem!

The air was filled with excitment as everyone made their way to the big stadium. I thought it was gorgeous, but a bit overwhelming. The girls seemed to love it.

We had awesome seats in the club seating area and the field was very visable.

What I found a little unusual was that the monitor was so large over the field. It's nice, but I found myself watching it more than the field.

We left at half time to get home in time to relieve the nurse. All in all we had a great time and the girls had sore throats from yelling so much. Not to mention Faith trying to start the wave...the entire night. She was cracking me up.

Once we got home the nurse marked that Jude's temp was a little elevated. He was sound asleep and I had missed being with him that night. I kissed him before I went to bed and told him I loved him. I got a little smile from his sleep.

So this weekend is my 20 yr reunion I talked about. The festivities start tonight and I have already gotten several phone calls from people wondering why I am not going. I was so active in school that people are surprised I am not going to be there. First, it's very hard for us to get an RN that would stay past midnight. With an event like this you know it will be a late night. We have the nurse from 7am-5pm.  Second, I could go on my own and leave Mike with Jude, but I wouldn't feel right going to a function like that without him. Third, it's hard having people you don't see often tell you how sorry they are regarding Jude. It's sweet and thoughtful, but it's still hard.  Fourth, I see many wonderful people from my high school that I have been blessed to still be friends with. So instead of the reunion Emily and I are jetting off for a weekend together at 3pm today. I am going to market and Em is going to compete. One last hoorah before school starts. I felt more comfortable with this trip than the other. I am still nervous over planes rides, but I am getting better about it. I am conquering my fear which makes me feel more empowered. Now let's all pray! lol.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Tigger and Cowboys

So last night we put baby Jude to bed and he fought it every step of the way. He is now resisting naps and trying to resist going to sleep. He is a true toddler in that sense! After we finally got him to bed I was just exhausted and wanted to go to sleep. Emily begged me to watch her practice so I made her agree that one time would be plenty and then I was going to sleep. So I walked upstairs to Mike's "man cave" and said "I am watching Emily do her routines and then I am going to bed". I kissed him on his head and walked out. I then watched Em and as promised I then walked off to go to bed afterwards. Em followed me ....she bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, fun fun fun fun fun, she was Tigger the only one.....sorry but that's what was in my mind. I finally convinced her I was going to sleep. She had to leave in a huff with a comment about me being old and then she scooted off upstairs. About thirty minutes later Mike came downstairs.

Mike: You didn't tell me you were going to bed.
Me: Yes I did
Mike: No you didn't
Me: Yes I did I even kissed your head and said I was watching Em practice and going to bed.
Mike: Oh......all I noticed was the kiss and wah wah wah wah wah
Me: Like the Peanuts teacher? really?
Mike: I just don't hear you anymore we are growing apart babe just face it.
Me: Sigh, I guess so. Guess you need to hook up with someone in your warehouse
Mike: No way man........(pauses) I love you
Me: I know.
Mike: No I really do, but your kid has way to much energy
Me: (laughs) oh no did she come after you when I went to bed. She is just pent up in the house waiting for school to start.

At that moment we hear thud thud thud thud from her running across the floor upstairs and then suddenly the thuds coming back the other way. 

Mike: She needs to lay off whatever she is on I mean it's not good for her 
Me: Giggle......you're wrong really wrong.  

Tonight Mike, myself, Em and Faith are going to the pre-season opener with the Dallas Cowboys. Our nurses worked together so we could go.....we are very lucky. Mike's boss handed him the tickets and said he appreciates Mike. When he got them home he looked down at the value of the tickets and each one was marked $350...........WOW. First, for pre-season?? Still that's awesome. I cannot wait to see the seats and I am so proud of my husband for doing such a great job at work that he gets rewarded in a big way. Way to go Mike!

Prayers, Pageants, and parties

So can men get baby fever like women do? I am here to tell you that they can. Saturday I caught my husband cooing over a baby that was at Target. Then today we went to lunch together and again he was making sweet faces at a newborn. He started talking again about how he wants another baby and I understand his desires. Mike loves Jude very much, but he also wanted more kids from the start. The thought of it scares me to death, but again I understand his wants. We still don't have insurance so it's not even an option right now, but I wanted him to know I relate to his desires.

So Jude is doing pretty well and fought through his immunizations like a prize fighter. This proves to me that he is one strong little boy. He does have the issue with the Scoliosis or the bone loss which is concerning, but we don't have a diagnosis on that yet. We understand it means it could shorten his life span, but we cannot worry over that until we know what's wrong. He will be going to get an X ray very soon. The good news is Jude is making more vowel sounds and he is doing this cute movement with his legs like he is walking. I guess he figures that since he cannot stand up he is still going to show us he could walk.

So I posted on facebook this morning that I am holding a pageant prelim in November. I got several emails from people who were confused so I thought I would explain. You hold pageant prelims because they are small pageants. They introduce your system to new kids and to existing kids that compete, but have never tried your system before. Our plan was to hold 5 of these a year leading up to nationals and to take Emily to 5 big nationals to advertise. It works like this. Say Emily won Miss Roanoke then she would go to Miss Texas and then on to Miss America. Make sense? Anyway, I have already had some interest in the prelim. It's just beauty and casual wear with little to no makeup. We want a fresh sweet look. This will lead the way for the girls at the prelim to compete at nationals.  I am truly excited that this business is going well. I have lots of little girls competing for the queen of hearts prize that my royalty competes for. They are all doing lots of community service.

It was nice to have lunch with Mike today. We have been passing each other a lot with work, starting of school, and more. Next week will prove to be busy since Emily and Jude are both about to go back to school. Well Em and I hope a plane on Friday everyone please say safe prayers for us.

Also, we are working on Emily's 13th birthday party which include an Emily's Smile Box packing event and a fundraiser . We still need raffle donations for the event. If you know of anyone that can contribute please let us know. It is tax deductible.

My friend sent this to me today with a little note that said "this made me weepy". It made me weepy too and I think it's wonderful! I agree with the message.

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.


He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and

Set about nailing it to a post on the edge of

His yard.

As he was driving the last nail into the

Post, he felt a tug on his overalls.

He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your

Puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat

Off the back of his neck, "These puppies come

From fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment..

Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a

Handful of change and held it up to the farmer.
"I've got thirty-nine cents.

Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer.

And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran

Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain

Link fence.

His eyes danced with delight.

As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else

stirring inside the doghouse.
Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.

Down the ramp it slid.

Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the

others, doing its best to catch up...
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the

Runt.

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,

"Son, you don't want that puppy.

He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence,

Reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his

Trousers.
In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down

Both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well

myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.
Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the little boy... "No charge,"

Answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

Lots of shots.

Today was not a good day for Jude and Charlotte. They both were transported to Jude's pediatrician and hour late where Jude was given a physical and his vaccines. Jude was in a wonderful mood and was talking to all of his doctor's until the poor nurse had to stick him with SIX needles. Jude was heartbroken and the story from Charlotte made me sad. Jude was still in tears when I came home. I wanted to pick him up but I could tell Jude also wanted to throw up. The thoughts of people telling me to allow Jude to stay on his side if he is sick flooded my thoughts.  I finally just scooped him into my arms regardless of his retching and soon he became quiet. He just wanted to be held and told how mean the doctor's office was. It actually made me feel relieved that he wanted my words and touch...he was very calm.

For months I have pointed out that Jude's chest bone seems to protrude on the left side. Everyone seemed to ignore me, but Charlotte discovered it too and she brought it up to the doctor today. It seems Jude has either lost bone density or has scoliosis. Mike seemed very upset about this news, but I am not surprised. If a person is not standing erect then our bodies lose mass. I want to fix the situation, but again I am not surprised.

Overall Jude stayed happy the rest of the night. He conquered those vaccines with a heroic attitude. Thus proving to me that Jude is ready for school and more interaction....with his dedicated nurse Charlotte by his side.

Shots and more

Poor baby Jude is having all his vaccines today to get him caught up for school. It makes me sad I cannot go with him and the nurse. I sure hope he tolerate them alright. He goes at 2pm so I will be waiting to hear how he does.

I am missing my Emily. She is at her dads this week and I am ready for her to come home. Here is a recent picture of her that our favorite photographer took.

Lexie Luther in the kingdom of spiders

This is Lexie Luther who as you can see built a metropolis of a web in our garage.

Yes that's a black widow.......they follow ME! Mike discovered her on Tuesday night so when I got home yesterday this was our conversation.

Me: Did you kill the spider?
Mike: Well no... I had Jude...what if I went out there and she killed me or something? Jude would have to pull himself to safety
Me: Oh good grief! Well you need to go kill her because if she has a nest that's no bueno
Mike: Well he is pretty big
Me: It's a she
Mike: I think it's a he because he is big
Me: It's a she. Only girls have the red hourglass
Mike: How do you know?
Me: I know. The males are also smaller and she probably ate her mate
Mike: That's not nice
Me: Nope! I grew up around a farm and I got bit by one of those suckers remember?
Mike: Ok so you want me to kill her now? like right now?
Me: Yes like right now
He picks up a can of posion
Me: I would smash her.
Mike: but what if she gets me?
Me: She won't. I mean they aren't aggresive unless you try to get her food or hit her or something....well I mean I guess you are trying to kill her. That stuff doesn't work well on spiders.
Mike: Well it has a spider on the front and it looks like a black widow
Me: sigh
Mike: sprays poison
Me: what's wrong
Mike: she isn't there she ran away. She is going to COME FOR ME IN THE NIGHT
Me: Oh gees I am going inside.

So who knows if Lexie Luther is still alive, but superman did NOT smash her.

Jude says he is a big boy and he would have killed her!

Great moods are a good thing!

I feel great today! Physically and mentally. I woke up a lot with Jude last night, but it didn't seem to phase my happy mood today. He was also very smiley this morning when I left and is back to wiggling his legs when I talk to him. I think that is just so cute. I am so much better mentally with his situation and ours. Jude is doing the very best he can and he is such a little trooper so I have decided to do the very best I can. Part of this is because our family unit is in a true dance. We moved together in sych as we care for Jude and make sure he is tended to properly. I am also so proud of the Regal Princess accomplishment. I have a great regular job, but I am proud that I started this entire business on the side. It was a huge success thanks to my friends, family, and the hard work we all put in. My sister (the youth pastor) called last night and said

My sis: That was different than what I thought.
Me: Well is that good or bad?
Sis: Good! I just expected....mmmm...
Me: (giggling) yes?
Sis: Well like crazy moms and what you see on TV. I didn't think they would actually be toned down or natural like you said and it was well..........really really fun. I see why they do it.
Me: So glad!

We also met the mother of a contestant this weekend who approached me about Jude. While at the pageant she had researched our information on Emily's charity. She wanted to let me know that her son is in the exact same situation........and is 21!! She said they told her he wouldn't live past 5. She said he is like a 5 month old, but is such a blessing. We talked about the positive of the keto diet, new marketed seizure medications, g buttons, and all kinds of special needs talk. She was such a dear and I loved chatting with her.

So Jude and Emily are both about to start back to school. How strange does that sound that Jude will be going to school? His nurse is going with him and he will only attend the days he is not in therapy. Mike is taking off a morning next week to get Jude registered. I then am taking Em after work to pick up her schedule for middle school. I also have to take Em school clothes shopping. So this weekend was my big 20th year high school Reunion. GOOD LORD AND A QUARTER I AM OLD. Anyway, I was truly not that enthused about it all. The people I want to see from high school are always available to be seen. Also, it's virtually impossible to get someone to stay long enough at night for us to go out without being worried. So Mike and I made a deal. He is staying home next weekend while Emmy and I jet off to Kentucky for her to compete and myself to market. Mike and I both thought it was important to jump back into marketing to double our numbers next year. In return Mikey has a pass at the end of the month to spend a weekend wrapped in Fantasy Football. He also mentioned getting an entire weekend to himself playing games next weekend......uh huh an ulterior motive..lol.

So I am well rested after this past weekend. I have an entire weekend to myself this weekend and we are all finally in a very very good place. :). We are smiling like Jude today!

One thing that made me smile is my newly crowned Emily's Smile Boxes scholarship winner passing out 50 Smile Boxes to Cook's Children's hospital. She cheered up lots of patients yesterday. Way to go Maddie. I could tell by her Rosy cheeks that she was working up a sweat in the back of that SUV unloading boxes. Isn't she so cute with her little pink tiara?

The very first Regal Princess Pageant and Missing my Jude

Well I am at lunch and I have a chance to update my blog. I am 100% exhausted after running the pageant this weekend, but it was worth it. There were a few very stressful moments, but that's to be expected. One of those moments got out of control, but I cannot take that back now. All in all it turned out to be a good weekend. My friends and family helped tremendously!!! I sent out a text to them letting them know I felt like I asked to much of them. They replied "I felt like you didn't ask enough and count me in next year". It made me feel wonderful.

The weekend started on Friday with registration. Registration was suppose to last from 10-5, but it lasted from 10-10. It seems traffic was a nightmare and many people were late. So we all worked together to make sure everyone got registered and off to interview or talent. Each little girl made a Smile Box at either registration or before interview.  I am afraid that I missed the majority of the talent competition, but I heard it was amazing. Saturday competition was held all day long. The girls competed in beauty, casualwear, swimwear, and fairytale wear. In the afternoon I ran home for a bit because I was really missing my Jude. I had to give him some kisses and then run back to the pageant. 

Saturday night we held our banquet that benefited Kids Swing. You can check them out at www.kidswing.org . The founder of Kids Swing Ben Sater came to give a speech to the little girls about the benefits of community service. I have to praise my step mom Kay and my dad for setting up my banquet room. It looked fabulous!!! At the banquet my amazing emcee Rod then made a speech I wrote about how great Emily is. He told her how much she blesses our lives and we gave her her own very pink crown and banner. She wanted one of those crowns so bad. She just walked up and said "I love you mommy" and I started crying. Saturday night we also awarded our very first Emily's Smile Boxes scholarship winner. This little girl had a list of community service events she participated in that took up the entire page. Next year I am giving an award the one of my royalty that does the best community service work. Maddie started out early because she and her mom took all the Smile Boxes we made at registration to Cook's hospital today. Here is our little Princess Maddie.

Here are a few pictures from the banquet.

Sunday morning we had crowning and overall it went very well. The little girls loved their pink crowns and our Grand Supreme winner was so happy! She and her mother were both in tears. Here is our very first Grand Supreme winner Lizzy.

All the little girls were beautiful and precious. When I get my photo's in I am going to feature the group shot on my blog. I just love it :)

I am glad to be home with Jude again. He was so smiley last night and I held him as much as I could and gave him lots of kisses. He had a hard night with my aunt on Saturday, but he seems much better. Thanks again to everyone that helped me make this past weekend possible. I look forward to next year.

Head wound

Mike is handling his injury very well. So far he has minimal pain, but he still gets very tired. We don't leave him alone with Jude yet, but I think he will be okay soon. His face is very swollen today and his eyes are turning black. We know they could see skull when he came in, but we are so lucky it wasn't worse. I had a friend call that used to be a paramedic he said "Dang Jenn I thought you were just being a girl and this was going to be some tiny little cut. I have care flighted people for less than that". No I wasn't being a girl..lol.

Jude is doing well, but being a bit of a stinker. He has not slept well the past two nights....it's almost like he knows we have a lot going on. So I have been up with him. Going to work after a crazy day like we had and then being up all night wasn't pleasant, but that's okay. At least I have a good job to go to. So I slept in until 9:30 today and it was great.

I will be out of touch the next week as I prepare for next weekend. Have a nice weekend!

**CAUTION** graphic pictures

****GRAPHIC PICTURES do not look if you don't want to. You have been warned!***

I won't post this until the morning, but I wanted to tell everyone what happened today. About 1:30pm I received a phone call from Mike at work. It had been a horrible day at work so Jen was unable to connect Mike through to me. She looked up from her office and said "Mike just called and said it's an emergency". I was surprised because he never does that. I immediatley called him back. He said "I have been in a forklift accident and it's pretty bad. I am being taken to Baylor in Grapevine." My heart sank and I ran back to tell my boss I needed to go. He was very supportive and told me to drop everything and go to the hospital asap.

Once I got to the hospital I had to wait for Mike's ambulance to arrive. He kept texting me to tell me where they were at. I felt confident that he was alright if he was able to keep me informed. Once he arrived he kept texting for me to come back to be with him. I knew he was in a big panic. Once I got back to his room Mike was literally covered in blood from head to toe. He had a large bandage wrapped around his head and blood running down his face. I wasn't sure what to say, but I walked over and patted him. He said the smell of the blood was making him sick so I began cleaning him off the best I could. The doctor's worked to hook up IV lines and were monitoring his blood pressue. Mike said he was driving a forklift because he was short on drivers and his "guys" were behind. While driving the large machine a radio fell off and it distracted Mike. He clipped the bottom of a pole which caused a fire extingusher to fall and it exploded. In a cloud of smoke Mike was thrown forward into the roll bar in the safety cage on the forklift splitting his head open and cutting it very deep. I said "Babe that's not so safety" and he just smiled.

They completed a CT scan which thankfully showed that the injury did not cause any bruising or bleeding on the brain. So after awhile they called someone in that works in plastic surgery and she sutured Mike's head up, but before she did he wanted me to take a picture. Be prepared because it's nasty......but you can see why we are so thankful he is okay.

Our initial reaction was "why does this always happen to us?". I quickly decided we are actually very lucky. I cannot imagine having Mike invalid as well as Jude. I cannot imagine losing Mike...he is my soul mate. I felt so lucky when he hugged me tonight when we got home. I love my husband very much!

I forgot to mention that earlier in the day at work another lead manager drove his forklift through a wall and it was a foot away from where Mike was sitting. Something was determined to get him! Now we sit and wait and hope the Dallas Cowboys keep Mike on in his current position. Mike loves his job very much.  

A weepy Em, a puking Jude, and a really big bear

Well what a weekend. It started out pleasant, but ended up awful. Friday night Mike and I had a nice quiet dinner together before Emily came back from camp. Saturday morning I had to get up super early to retrieve Emily from the closing ceremonies and load up her luggage. She LOVED Camp Kiowa and is already begging to go back next year. She spent a total of 7 days living in a college dorm and enjoyed all the activities the camp had. She even took a cooking class everyday and came home telling me that she won the master chef cook off challenge. I thought that was cute since she and I watch master chef every Tuesday night. She talked a mile a minute on the car ride home so I was very well informed of all their activities.

After I picked her up we ran by the lake to see my cousin, family, and Fleck. We had a great time, but when I got in my car my temperature read this again.

This could be the reason Emily started feeling very sick while sitting in the water. I decided I am moving to Maui, bleh with the heat. The older I get the worse the heat is.

Sunday we did lots of errands. Emily went with me to pick up some prizes for some contestants in my pageant. The pageant count down is on and will be held at the end of this month. I have to say the highlight of my weekend was seeing Em try to get TWO 53 inch teddy bears into my car. I had my hands full so watching her try to carry them to the car and then get them in there was heeeeeeeelarious. She also had to make sure that said bears were buckled in.

I said Emily "Peek A Bear". She replied "Mom your a dork". That's it I am officially old...just in case you were wondering. My pre-teen had labeled me a dork.

So Sunday evening our blissful weekend turned to crap! Right after the nurse left and right after Jude's feed ended Jude started retching. He then started throwing up and crying for over an hour. Jude would get phloem in the back of his throat then gag and throw up. Then he would cry hysterically which would repeat the process. This went on for so long that Jude was throwing up blood and his throat was swelling shut. Mike would yell at me to relieve stress, I would freak out, and Em would grow silent. It was awful! This all after Emily fixed her first entire meal for us.........by herself. SO her meal was cold, she was sad, Jude was screaming, I was crying, and Mike was yelling. It was a lovely night. Emily finally just went upstairs and locked herself in her room. Once Jude calmed down we gave him a breathing treatment to open up his airways and then we left him in his room for a bit so we could calm down.

Emily finally emerged from her room and after a huge debate about unpacking her bags we had a long talk. Emily for the first time said "Life isn't fair". She has never said anything about Jude's condition or how it affects her life, but she did last night. She really let things go which was healthy. She said "People just don't get it do they mom?". I replied "Not unless they are in the same situation hun". She replied "Well that stinks". I then explained how life isn't fair and she was right. I held my tongue for a minute and thought of a good response and said "Emily this isn't a normal life.......this isn't the life you will leave when you start your own family... you understand that right?". She said she understood, but then pointed out that Jude will always be a part of her life and leave a mark on her even if he isn't with us anymore. Man she is a profound kid. How did I have such a smart kid? Anyway, we talked some more and Emily expressed how she really wants to go to Disney world next year and compete in a face pageant out there. I told her I am working on it. She then said "see that would be hard too wouldn't it". "Yes Emily...traveling is very difficult, but we have a lot to be thankful for".  I explained that the financial aspect of it can be handled, but it would be difficult to bring Jude without a nurse, and equally as difficult to leave him behind. She then went on to explain just how stressed out she gets when Jude has an episode where we consider calling 911 and how the yelling affects her. I told her that maybe someday we will have a night nurse. I then pointed out that it's not because we don't want to care for Jude, but because we want to make sure he is cared for properly in an emergency situation. She expressed that would make her feel better.

So who knows what the right answer is, but I am glad Emily vented. She probably needed to do that for a really long time.  Emily gets a do-over on her meal tonight. She is making chicken sautee.

Jude updates

Jude has been doing better since we cut his sedative back a bit at night. He seems to be awake again and is lifting his head more.  He is also very smiley these days. When I get home at night Jude has a tendency to get very vocal until I pick him up. As I sat there last night holding him I admired how long he is. If Jude could stand upright he would be to my hip......and he is only approaching 3! I think he takes after my grandfather who played football and was 6'4. I also noticed Jude has such a sweet demeanor about him and it takes a lot to make him angry. I like to think he got that from me.

The other night my cousin came by and brought the foster children she is keeping. She had three little boys with her and they were so cute. I watched them run and play. I listened to their giggles and their questions. Then when they left I went in to check on Jude who was sleeping quietly. I am used to Jude's quiet ways. I know longer wish for him to run around like I used to. Not that I wouldn't want that....I just accept who Jude is and I love him the way he is. I guess that's a reason I don't blog as much anymore. I went through my stages of grief and I hit acceptance. I explained to Mike that I selfishly grieve now for our loss. Mike and I cannot do the things we dreamt of without a lot of planning. I want to take the kids to Orlando next year, but I don't see that happening with Jude's condition. It's to hot for him and I don't think it's possible to take a nurse. So is it selfish to admit I want to vacation and do the things Mike and I talked about when we got married. Probably so, but I am admitting it anyway so parents will know it's normal to feel that way. Does it mean I love Jude any less? NO. It means I love him so much I would do anything for him. I just sit at night and talk to him as he falls asleep just to see him smile. He has the most infectious smile and it makes my heart happy that when he hears mommy's voice he gets a huge grin. He knows me....he really does. He even spots me now and will smile which is such an accomplishment. I am proud of him. I tell him "You are a smart boy Jude", because people do not say that to him enough.

You're a smart boy Jude, I love you.

Emily and the dorm

I found this on my camera after Emily went to camp...she is so cute!

Jude thought it was pretty cute

So Em is at Camp this week and she was so excited. Although I don't think she put two and two together. I explained she was going to be in a college dorm room and we took bedding, but she didn't "get" what a dorm was until she walked in. The college is old and she looked around then she said "what is this". I said "This is a dorm room Emily". She said "I don't like it". I said "well what did you expect the Hilton? This is dorm life honey!". She said "well I expected some type of hotel atmosphere". I cracked up and told her the pageants have spoiled her. She was very comfortable when I left and was already making friends. I know she will have a great time this week. Luckily the camp has a website where I can see pictures of her in action.

                                                       She wasn't sure about the dorm

A little update

I have been extremely busy lately so bear with me. I will be this way until the first of August preparing for my upcoming event.

Jude is doing well but decided to pull his first night of no sleep in a long time last night. I am pretty tired and so busy at work today so those two things don't mesh well together. Other than not sleeping well he seems to be doing pretty, especially since we lowered his Klonnopin dosage. He seems to be more alert again and is trying to "talk" more which consists of vowel sounds. Charlotte brought him a new CD yesterday and she said he sounded like he was trying to mimic the singing. She said he would smile and giggle at the music.

Emily is also doing well too. She is getting ready to go to camp for a week and a mission trip following that so she is a busy girl. We have been pretty financially strapped getting her ready for everything. You would think the summer would be cheaper than the school year...wrong! lol.

We are still discussing the KETO diet. Basically Jude has to be checked into the hospital from Tuesday until Friday. This is pretty impossible right now with our work schedules. I do have some family members that are offering to sit with Jude during the day while we work, but I would feel really guilty leaving him. Basically they have to monitor his ketone levels and his blood sugar levels while introducing the diet. Jude cannot tell us if he is feeling bad so the monitoring would insure his safety. The doctor said he treats this diet like another medication. So she would not immediately start lowering medications which was rather disappointing to me. Mike was rather resistant to the idea at first until he said he had a dream that Jude was doing better due to the diet, he felt it was a sign.

I hope everyone is well!

There is a T-Rex after me!!!

So last night I had a very strange dream and I think I know why. I dreamt that I was raising a T-REX. Yes people, I have lost my mind. Anyway, the T-rex was so cute and cuddly and he really loved our family, but I was scared that he would eat the kids when he got older. I was torn between protecting Jude and Emily, but still giving the dinosaur a good home. I remember Mike encouraging me to keep the T-Rex. At one point he looked at the little fellow and said "You won't grow up and eat us will you?". The T-Rex shook his head no and in a growl said "I lub you". Okay.......everyone is laughing now. Anyway, yesterday I told my friends that I had decided not to attend my twenty year high school reunion. It's far to difficult to get a sitter for Jude at night and I don't want to take him up there. I was really alright with not attending the function. The people I would want to see from my high school I already talk to.  I think the dream was the struggle I have with wanting to live a normal life, but not being able to.

So Emily has been insisting on getting Jude's medications ready at night. Last night she even insisted on giving Jude his breathing treatment.

She has been very attentive to Jude lately and a big help to me. I think she realized I was getting a bit overwhelmed with work, the house, and Jude's medications. Now if I can just get her to clean her room without being told :). Jude was very happy last night and giggled himself to sleep. This is great because he had a run in with his fingers again earlier in the day. When Jude is teething he has a tendency to put his fingers in his mouth and chomp down. This time he drew blood and his feelings were very hurt. We try to keep gloves or socks on his hands to prevent this from happening. He happened to get them in his little chompers the one time he didn't have a sock on his hand.

So on July 30th I am holding a banquet at The Regal Princess Pageant I am running. All the proceeds from the banquet will benefit Kids Swing which is a golf tournament that raises money for Scottish Rite. We will be awarded an Emily's Smile Box scholarship that night to the one little girl that has completed the best community service work. If you would like to attend email me and I can get you ticket price information. It will be a nice meal for a wonderful cause! We will also have a dance following the banquet.