After I picked her up we ran by the lake to see my cousin, family, and Fleck. We had a great time, but when I got in my car my temperature read this again.
Sunday we did lots of errands. Emily went with me to pick up some prizes for some contestants in my pageant. The pageant count down is on and will be held at the end of this month. I have to say the highlight of my weekend was seeing Em try to get TWO 53 inch teddy bears into my car. I had my hands full so watching her try to carry them to the car and then get them in there was heeeeeeeelarious. She also had to make sure that said bears were buckled in.
I said Emily "Peek A Bear". She replied "Mom your a dork". That's it I am officially old...just in case you were wondering. My pre-teen had labeled me a dork.
So Sunday evening our blissful weekend turned to crap! Right after the nurse left and right after Jude's feed ended Jude started retching. He then started throwing up and crying for over an hour. Jude would get phloem in the back of his throat then gag and throw up. Then he would cry hysterically which would repeat the process. This went on for so long that Jude was throwing up blood and his throat was swelling shut. Mike would yell at me to relieve stress, I would freak out, and Em would grow silent. It was awful! This all after Emily fixed her first entire meal for us.........by herself. SO her meal was cold, she was sad, Jude was screaming, I was crying, and Mike was yelling. It was a lovely night. Emily finally just went upstairs and locked herself in her room. Once Jude calmed down we gave him a breathing treatment to open up his airways and then we left him in his room for a bit so we could calm down.
Emily finally emerged from her room and after a huge debate about unpacking her bags we had a long talk. Emily for the first time said "Life isn't fair". She has never said anything about Jude's condition or how it affects her life, but she did last night. She really let things go which was healthy. She said "People just don't get it do they mom?". I replied "Not unless they are in the same situation hun". She replied "Well that stinks". I then explained how life isn't fair and she was right. I held my tongue for a minute and thought of a good response and said "Emily this isn't a normal life.......this isn't the life you will leave when you start your own family... you understand that right?". She said she understood, but then pointed out that Jude will always be a part of her life and leave a mark on her even if he isn't with us anymore. Man she is a profound kid. How did I have such a smart kid? Anyway, we talked some more and Emily expressed how she really wants to go to Disney world next year and compete in a face pageant out there. I told her I am working on it. She then said "see that would be hard too wouldn't it". "Yes Emily...traveling is very difficult, but we have a lot to be thankful for". I explained that the financial aspect of it can be handled, but it would be difficult to bring Jude without a nurse, and equally as difficult to leave him behind. She then went on to explain just how stressed out she gets when Jude has an episode where we consider calling 911 and how the yelling affects her. I told her that maybe someday we will have a night nurse. I then pointed out that it's not because we don't want to care for Jude, but because we want to make sure he is cared for properly in an emergency situation. She expressed that would make her feel better.
So who knows what the right answer is, but I am glad Emily vented. She probably needed to do that for a really long time. Emily gets a do-over on her meal tonight. She is making chicken sautee.