Friday, October 8, 2010

So tired.......

I am exhausted, literally. Ever have one of those times when you just lose it? Yep, that was me last night. I know other mothers understand, and I am not the only one in this situation. Jude was up, and down again last night. Mike stayed up with him until about 1am, and then came to bed. Once Mike was in bed he couldn't hear Jude anymore, but my mom instincts wouldn't let me tune Jude out. Jude would toss, and turn, whine, and moan. It was awful! We tried to alleviate gas again, but that didn't help. Really the only thing that seemed to help was turning Jude on his left side, and propping his back with a pillow. It's hard because Jude cannot tell us what is wrong so we guess. Is it positioning, is it gas, is it pain from the surgery, or is it Jude being 2?

Well last night at about 3am I just lost it, broke down bawling. I said to Mike that I just cannot do this anymore. It's not that Jude is up, it's that Jude is up, and I have to work the next day. NOT only do I have to work today, I have to literally work all day. I get off work at 5pm here, and I go to a Scentsy party at 5:30pm. My body is so tired. Mike called me at work a little while ago, and said he feels for me. He said he feels like I am close to losing it, and that I never lose it, all from lack of sleep. He said he would take Jude tonight so I can get a full nights sleep. I am sure this will help.

Like I said, I know several moms with special needs who encounter this inability for our children to sleep. I put a call into the neurologist to see if he has any further advice. This is nothing new with Jude. He has had many sleepless nights prior to the surgery, but we can usually get him back to sleep somewhere. This constant twisting, moving, crying, and moaning ALL night long seems to be a recent thing. I just hope it gets resolved soon.


Kim C. said...

Sorry you had such a rough night, and you're right, I believe we special needs parents all have nights like that, especially when our children are small. Just remember, it does get better. I believe Jude's new bed will make a big difference. I have looked up the SleepSafe bed and it looks so much more comfortable than the standard bed, plus it is adjustable, which will make a world of difference. My daughter sleeps so much better on an adjustable bed, although her issues are a bit different from Jude's, since she has had back surgery. Boy, did I have some rough days and night directly after her surgery! If she ever laid flat, she would scream constantly. Fortunately, I was able to arrange to have an adjustable bed at home the day she returned from the hospital and it was a lifesaver. With Jude's feedings, it will make him much more comfortable too. Also, the memory foam will help alot. By the way, Jude's room looks great! You and Mike did an awesome job. I like the red, and the outdoor theme. Love the bear rug. Also, the bear door hanger is past adorable. Take Mike up on his offer tonight. When you finally get home, get a good night sleep. We all need that to feel good. Continued prayers.

Bronx Cataldo's said...

Ahhh the sleep safe bed what a huge help and blessing that bed has been for us. I hop in there now with him when he is having a bad night much more comfy than being squished on the couch.
Hope you can get the sleep issues sorted out. I know what thoes nights/days are like.