Help a friend

Please help my friend Kim that is battling brain cancer. She is so brave and could use your help for daily living expenses. If we got 100 people to donate $5 it would be amazing. She is so brave and doing this on her own. Your contribution would be greatly appreciated.

update

If you are on my Facebook then you know Jude already has the flu. So he got through the Pneumonia and came down with the flu. Before you ask...........yes he had the flu shot. The doctor explained Flu B is not in the shot and therefore people are spreading it quickly. She said they think if the person has had the shot it lessens the severity.

Today Jude's nurse is pushing fluids. He still looks very pale and you can tell he doesn't feel well, but he is smiling. To top it off Emily is not feeling well and is at home today in bed. I am also still not up to par. I am at work, but really would like to sleep.

I am hoping our house gets well soon! We appreciate the continued prayers. The flu can be dangerous for Jude so we are watching him closely.

Jude Jude Jude

So Jude finally came off his antibiotic last week and we were very relieved. However on Friday night 12/7 Jude cried when I got home for hours. He threw huge screaming fits like he was in pain. I administered the Valium, but Jude continued to cry. I then gave him his clauzapam (sedative) because it was near bedtime, but again he continued to cry. That means he cried through two full doses of sedation medication. We had no clue what was going on. The next day Jude seemed to be fine..........tired but fine. He went the rest of the weekend with smiles.

Yesterday Charlotte encountered a repeat of Friday, but this time the valium did put Jude to sleep. She also said he had taken two 1.5 hour naps prior to his three our crying session. Again, she couldn't find a cause.

So today he woke up at 9:30 and she said he was smiling. He then took a 45 minute nap, spent some time in his wheelchair, and then cried again. She said he is now back to sleep AGAIN. We have no idea what's going on with him. I don't know if he is still recovering, if he is having a relapse, if it's effects from the antibiotic use, if he is dealing with migraines, or what. I put a call into every doctor he has (pretty much) and I am waiting on calls back.

I on the other hand have hit a wall and am very aggravated today. I am not aggravated at Jude, but at the situation. I will get over it........I am just meh!

Jude's update and a recap of Miss Texas Teen USA 2013.

So Jude was released from the hospital on Wednesday night and was able to spend Thanksgiving with me. Since Mike and Em had plans Jude and I stayed home and cooked and watched the parades. We had a good time together. However, I want to point out that Jude was still very ill when they sent him home. The doctor said that he felt Jude would do better at home and he knew we were capable of handling the situation vs others that may not be. I was actually very worried about taking him home because he threw up twice before we could even get him in his wheelchair to leave the hospital. However, he seemed to light up when we got home and seemed to be much happier. He is still coughing, pale, and having a few issues, but he is much happier. We are considering getting a night nurse for a few weeks until he is 100% better. If he should vomit in the middle of the night and aspirate then we take the chance of this happening all over again. Here is a picture from last night when I was talking to him.

Since Jude was home we decided that I would take Emily to her Miss Texas Teen USA competition in Houston. She had trained for it for a year and it was only fair to get her there. On Friday at 2pm I dropped her off to her chaperon. She then checked into her hotel room with her roommate and learned what their schedule would be. I didn't see Emily again until the next morning at 8am when they did a "swimwear preview" of all 101 contestants. Emily looked a little nervous her first time out on the stage (it's a BIG stage), but I was SO proud of her. I am also very glad they did the preview because it gave each girl a chance to get accustomed to the stage prior to competition.

After the 8am show the parents were on their own until 7pm that night. The girls went to interview and 5 hours rehearsals for the big 7pm prelim show. I must say I thought Emily looked very pretty going into interview.

 

Emily was responsible for her own hair and makeup the entire weekend. They do not allow hair/makeup artists to come in. The girls are also responsible for being on time, getting to bed, and keeping their energy up with snacks. They did feed them lunch and dinner at a specified time each day. So it was a lesson in responsibility.

So the 7pm show was GREAT! They did a parade of cities, then they competed in swimwear, and then evening gown. I was so proud of my little 14 year old. She really held her own against all the big girls. I think you can tell from her smile that she was having a great time and loved it

The next day we didn't get to see the girls until 1pm. It was the final show and they put on a full Miss USA type production. I was SO impressed. They did  full dance number (Emily's favorite part) and then they called the top 15. Let me state we KNEW Emily would not be in the top 15 this year. I love my child and I have confidence in her, but honestly she didn't need to win this year. She was there learning the ropes and is still to young to take on the job of Miss Texas Teen USA. They won't generally pick anyone under 16 because it truly is a job. So Emily was not disappointed because she knew she was there to learn. After the competition I asked her "Do you want to do this again?". She was quite for a minute and then said "I am very tired and it's exhausting, but I know it will just get easier each year I do this". So I asked her "well you need to ask yourself do you really want to be Miss Texas Teen USA someday" and she said "Mom I want that job more than you will ever know!! I want to work hard, practice, and learn more so I can get the title someday". However, Em's weekend was not without some stress. She seemed VERY upset Saturday night after competition and this worried me. I finally got it out of her that she accidentally stepped on another girls dress twice coming off stage. This happens... especially with trains! Well I guess the other girl turned around and said "just watch where you are going" and it hurt Emily's feelings. She felt she sabotaged the other girl when it was just an accident. On top of that her roommate had friends there competing and Emily didn't know anyone so she was a bit lonely.........and left in a room by herself. So I explained to her that this was a lesson that it's okay to be alone sometimes and that if you want friends..........go out and make them! Be outgoing and don't be afraid to meet people. I also told her that accidents happen and not to let it get to her.

So overall it was a GREAT .......... but tiring weekend. I am so proud of her and the lessons she learned! On the way home she talked non stop about the people she met, her future goals, the dress she wants, and more. I am glad we went. She also met some people that are local and can help her move forward.  I am also SO thankful that Gina flew into Houston to stay with me. I would have been so lost without her. I am also grateful for Carolyn, Kaylee, Lily, Cara, Kendall, Emily's dad, and Emily's grandparents for attending. Her grandparents even said "we will be here every year that she participates!". Made Em and I feel great.   

So now we rest for awhile! :)

update

Jude was smiling at me more last night which is good, but his fever crept back up about 8pm. I am waiting to hear if there is an update from the doctor. Currently Mike's mom and my family is sitting with Jude until I can get away from work. We are very slow today so I am hoping I can break away pretty early. I feel bad that I have missed so much work in the last two weeks, but I guess life happens.

Emily did not sleep well at all last night and today she feels rather warm. So please amp up the prayers that she stays healthy. She has literally worked for almost a year training for Miss Texas Teen USA. We are suppose to leave early Friday morning so we can get to the hotel in time for orientation. She is still practicing hard, but is a bit nervous. I told her she has to get her nerves under control and she knows how to do this because of her plays.

I will update when I hear more about Jude. I miss my little buddy and I am ready for him to be home.

Jude update

So we went to the ER yesterday and after several tests we learned Jude had pneumonia. They insisted on giving him two bags of antibiotics in the ER prior to admitting him upstairs. Mike stayed with Jude last night because I had to be at work at 8:30. I hated leaving Jude, but I was already out half the week last week due to my illness. I am getting round the clock updates from Mike.

The doctor came in this morning and said a few things. The pneumonia is in one lung and it's in the lower part which is good. It's also good Jude is not requiring oxygen. However he is still very pale and running a high fever. They want his fever broken before they send him home so he will be there a few days. The doctor said he believes the pneumonia may have happened due to a natural breakdown of Jude's lungs. This is so strange to me because I just told a friend the other day I don't think Jude's body is holding up as well as it used to. However, he also said it could be due to him catching my virus and then aspirating on some throw up.

So they are giving him IV fluids and administering the antibiotic and we are hoping he will be home in a few days. I am still planning on taking Emily to Houston unless something happens and Jude takes a turn for the worse. I will then send her with her dad.

A sick Jude and a let down

So if you have kept up with our facebook you know I had one terrible stomach virus that started early last Sunday 11/11 morning. It lasted until Thursday...............it was awful!! On Sunday night (11/11) Jude also started running a fever and acting lethargic. On Thursday we took him into the clinic to have him checked out. They ran a blood test and checked him over. The doctor determined that he was probably fighting my virus, but he was doing a better job than I was. They then informed us to bring Jude back in 48 hours if he wasn't any better. He also informed us Jude seemed a bit anemic according to his blood results and to check with his primary doctor.

This past Saturday 11/17 Jude began throwing up at night around the clock. I thought it was my stomach virus for sure, but we realized Jude was having issues actually going to the bathroom. This causes Jude to retch and throw up. So he spiked a fever again and again we were baffled. Then yesterday he finally seemed to be feeling a bit better and I was relieved. So at lunch with Mike I texted Charlotte to see how Jude was doing only to get a suprising response. Jude's fever was back at 102.1 and he was lethargic again. His other stats didn't sound much better. So I put a call into the primary doctor who informed me that Jude needed to go to Cooks downtown and to be prepared he might be admitted. She also said that his blood results showed both his clotting factors were down. I asked if this could be a concern due to the fact he suffered a bleeding stroke in utero. She said that to her it's concerning and would like to run a few tests.

So I realized in a very teary way that Jude and Mike would not be able to go to Houston for Emily's competition. I know that's not what is important here, but it is important to me and it makes me very sad. So I called and told Emily what was going on and I heard the dissapointment (once again) in her voice. I then saw little updates from her bounce up on facebook from her Smile Box page to her brothers fan page she has. I know she is let down and I am let down. I wanted them with us at this important event and I sure don't want to be there alone. So I put some calls out to see if I can find a friend to go with me. Em will be spending all her time with the group and I will be looking for stuff to do.

On top of this I am also very concerned about Jude. I am emotional and stressed. I want him to be okay and this may just be a simple virus, but I have been noticing something. I have noticed how Jude's body is just not what it used to be. He seems to be having a harder time sleeping, coughing.......regulating. Maybe it's just a mom thing that I sense it..........but I do...I feel it. It's not a matter of not being positive because I am and I love him very much I can just see there is something going on with him.

I just know Jude

Our good friend Gena and her son Frankie were chosen for the Kidds Kids trip this year. If you aren't familiar with Kidds Kids they take terminally or chronically ill children and their families to Disney World every year. We were very happy that they were chosen. I have been watching the pictures they have been posting showing how much fun they are having. They deserve it! Gena does so much for others including us.

With their trip I have been told several times "You guys should apply for that". I would love it, Emily would love it, but Jude ..............well Jude would hate it! I know my son and I also know that his mental capabilities are not like the children chosen for that trip. There isn't anything wrong with that it's just that I understand there are other children who would enjoy it more. Jude's idea of a great time is being on his futon or being held by his mom. He is a little home body. Would I like to take Jude to Disney World and have him enjoy it? Of course. Would I love to take Emily while she is still at an age that things are new and exciting? Yes. However, I understand and accept that this is not in Jude's best interest. I think sometimes special needs parents push their children to do things that "normal" children do to make themselves feel better rather than looking out for their child's best interest.

So today my cousin adopts her foster child and I am thrilled for her. I am wishing them a life of great things.

Pure and perfect

Below is one of the best articles I have seen written by a special needs mother. It does an amazing job of conveying the fact that as desperately lost in grief you are at the initial diagnosis of you child that life finds a way of becoming very special. I highly encourage people to read it especially if you have a newly diagnosed special needs child.

I relate with this mom. The strange thing is Mike's dad was just at my office and said "Does Jude respond to anyone else like you? He just lights up when you get home from work like nothing I have seen".

Ps. Grab a tissue.

http://www.ocregister.com/articles/worth-373806-needs-son.html

Update from this morning.

Well it's another GLORIOUS morning (what show is that from?). Mike called my name this morning about 6:15am to tell me Jude's med port had come open and had leaked his food all over his bed. Of course Mike thought I didn't close it the night before, but I know I did. I watched the food go in because I was checking to make sure the line was open. If I had left the port open his red medication would have been everywhere and it wasn't. I think he coughed so hard throughout the night the pressure opened the port. However, now that we are a few years into caring for a special needs child I can tell you that you do and WILL make mistakes. I have gotten to the point now that if I make a mistake I understand there isn't anything I can do about it after the fact except learn not to do it again.

So I stripped Jude's sheets, changed his clothes, and put him into our bed. I then hooked up his feed again with about 6 ounces so he would get some nutrition. He finally fell back to sleep, but then woke up and threw up twice.

Again, it was another glorious morning, lol! However I did enjoy his sweet smiles with me this morning

Weekend update

Our Anniversary was nice. Jude wasn't feeling that well when I left, but Gena assured me she would take care of him. Sometimes it's really really difficult that we don't have trained people that feel comfortable watching Jude so having Gena around has been great. Don't get me wrong..........our nurses while we work and for some time on the weekend are amazing.

The Emily's Smile Box party was a success too. We made 350 boxes and we are currently setting up the Christmas party. It will not be mixed with Emily's birthday so I hope it will be a little less chaotic.

Jude's had a check up with his neurologist. He seemed very pleased at Jude's progress although he did increase his seizure medication a bit to better control the new seizures that have reared there head. However he seemed very excited at the fact Jude's school is talking about electronic devices for Jude. They want to test putting switches on his head to see if Jude can answer yes, no, etc to certain questions...........that excites me!

Well it's short but wanted to update. It does seem Jude is feeling better than Friday. I am hoping he stays that way.

Also, Emily's Miss DFW Teen USA page is up............stop by and like her :) http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Miss-DFW-Teen-USA-2013/416654021734127  she will be competing at the end of November for the title of Miss Texas Teen USA. You can follow her journey there as she gets ready and competes. We are going hoping she has a great time and learns the ropes. I know she will make new friends and have a lot of fun.

5th anniversary and life.

Tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary. I have taken off work so I can spend the day with Mike. Well, part of the day. We also fit in a neurologist appointment for Jude in the morning. It wasn't in the original plan, but you do what you need to for your kids. I am very blessed to have such a great husband. He is my polar opposite, but we fit together great. He is funny, witty, loud, caring, passionate, sweet, a stinker, an amazing dad, great looking, and my match. I love him very much.

Lately I have noticed such serious and stern attitudes on facebook. I have also noticed people very set in their ways. I thought I would share something with you. When I got pregnant with Jude I was just like every other new expectant mom out there. I took my pre-natal vitamins, I planned how the birth would be, how the room would look, how I would parent, and everything else that goes into having a baby.

What I planned: I planned on a non stressful birth without an epidural. I planned to not be induced since statistically it causes more c sections.
What happened: My epidural was placed even before my labor was even started at 38 weeks. They placed the epidural because my platelets had plummeted and if an emergency should arise this would keep me from being sedated. I was induced at 38 weeks due to Jude's issues.
What I realized: as much as we all want the perfect birth it doesn't always happen and you have to do what's best for you and the child.

What I planned: To breastfeed
What happened: a struggling baby who we didn't know was aspirating on food. We tried as long as we could and finally this turned into placing a g button with a 24 hour crash course in how to use a feeding pump.
What I realized: when it gets right down to the nity gritty food is food no matter how it gets in there.

What I planned: A beautiful bedroom decorated in cute farm animals.
What happened: converting my dining room downstairs into a room for Jude so he would be closer to us in the event of an emergency
What I realized: That Jude loves his room. He smiles every time we take him in there so everything happens for a reason.......and it's just materials.

What I planned: To potty train by age three
What happened: The realization that he will always be in diapers.......this also eliminated cloth diapering.
What I realized: That diapering a 4 year old with adult small diapers is EXPENSIVE and thank goodness for insurance!

What I planned: To make my baby food using the food processor we purchased
What happened: See reference to crash course in using a feeding pump

What I planned: To stay away from antibiotics and other medications because the world pushes them to much.
What happened: a real quick lesson that a little tylenol and motrin sure isn't going to hurt a baby when you give them felbatol, depakene, and other heavy anti seizure medications.
What I realized:  That my worrying with Emily over giving her medications as a baby was not warranted. 

What I planned: To read to Jude to help him do better in school
What happened: Realizing that Jude may not read, but he loves to hear us talk to him
What I realized: Jude knows more than we think because he recognizes stories.

What I planned: To go to the circus, disney world, to see Santa, and do all the great things kids love
What happened: attempted trips brought forth the knowledge that a child with a sensory issue is overwhelmed by the noise that goes along with these places.
What I realized: That staying home with Jude is a really great thing.

What I planned: To let fevers take their course and not to rush off to a doctor because nature knows what it's doing
What happened: a fever can signify a very serious issue in Jude
What I realized: You always have to rush off

What I planned: Life
What happened: Life
What I realized: don't sweat the small stuff, fate chooses different paths than you do sometimes, don't judge others until you have walked in their shoes, be open minded, always be kind because life can change in a second, and embrace the change.

What it's like to be Jude's parents.

Mike was rather emotional yesterday. I attribute it to the fact he has been sick, but sometimes he is just an emotional guy. He got teary when he saw a little boy like Jude walking with the help of his mom yesterday. He then got teary when reading a summative written by a mother in a situation similar to ours. Last night while laying in bed he said

Mike: Did you read this thing Stacey posted about "Neuro mom"
Me: I started too, but I am so worn out from being sick and Emily's party I just couldn't handle it emotionally.
Mike: It's really good
Me: I will read it tomorrow so I can let it sink in

He then read me a bit, but I think he got that I was just physically and emotionally exhausted from putting on Emily's Smile Box event. So he posted it on his facebook and today I read it. So today I sat down and read it ........... at work..............big mistake. So I will for go the blog about Emily's Party and post it tomorrow so you can let this soak in like I did. I think it is the very best writing in regards to Jude's condition that I have read so far. It really sums it up from beginning to today.

I am a Neuro Mom

I just wanted a healthy baby
...

With no tubes
And no surgeries
And no daily meds
I wanted to take my baby home
And go around showing her off like normal new parents do
I got a very quiet baby, who never made a fuss but didn't meet the milestones, and screamed non-stop in car rides meant to calm

Then there we were again, 6 months later. With seizures.
Stuck in a hospital room
Most, almost all really, were afraid to visit...afraid of the unknown, afraid of the sadness of a sick baby
It was sad, and disappointing.

And then in parade the other moms
Strangers
Strangers with babies like mine
Even babies who have finished their battle and are in Heaven
You can see it in their eyes -
They know

And they bring chocolate
And coffee
And Tears and Laughter
But mainly they bring empathy

And so they hold my hand and lift me up
When I cannot stand
And together we walk this journey

I am a Neuro mom
I know things one just should not know
I know what it's like to hear the words status, and slowing, and spikes
and regression, global delay, and hyppsarrythmia.
I know that constipation, fever, loud noises and colds can bring on seizure.
I know that one seizure is one too many
I know how to put a mic-key back in if it comes out
I know the cry of another Mom losing her child
I know what a running group of doctors means
I know what it's like to watch a machine
that has your baby's future written all over it
I know the exhaustion of pushing the button every 2 seconds during a VEEG
I know the "wanting" to watch the EEG machine, even when the techs turn it away
I know what it's like to wake in panic at beeping alarms
I know what it's like to have nurses and doctors know how you take your coffee
I know the guilt of wondering if you are neglecting your other children while sitting in the hospital while you watch this one.

But I also know what it's like
to leap with joy at my baby drinking half a teaspoon
to high five eating a bite of a sandwich
to defy the odds
to lift up another neuro mom in tears
to be surrounded by Warrior Moms, and FFL
to have made friends for life because of my child's condtions
to release a balloon in memory of an Angel
to survive a war
to be in the presence of a Miracle

So today, and everyday, I am a Neuro Mom. I am a warrior mom. I'm so proud to be .
And I wouldn't want to be anything else.

(Borrowed from a friend) ♥

Dreams off track and what to do

Wow, I have been pretty overwhelmed with decision lately and to be honest.........I have completed ONE of them! We have to convert a bathroom for Jude..........and we are unsure how to. Our half bath backs up to our main bath so there is no way to convert the half bath without tearing into the master bath....confused yet? Our master bath cannot be converted due to the tub/shower issue. Which means we would have to convert our master closet into the handicap shower..........this means we lose resale value (big time). I did have one idea. We could convert the half bath and let it take over part of the master bathroom. This would leave the rest of the prior master bath as extra closet space. We could then push out into the backyard and add on a master bath. However, I have NO idea the expense or if I could even refinance with this option. It would add lots of value, but again it may come down to money. Issue is Jude is now over half my height. For moms of four year olds let's put this in perspective......my 4 year old cute disabled little boy is as tall as my friends 9 year old son. eeek! lol.
The other thought has been to move.........but I love my house. I realize it's just a material possession, but I love it. If we move Mike wants land. So the thought was to buy something older so it would be easier to convert a room. So we are really up in the air on this subject and I am at a loss.

I am also struggling with knowing my boss will eventually retire from his position and wondering what avenues I should take in life. I like my job. I have the majority of my family and friends insured at our agency. I just hope I can be here for a long while. Other major decision is my husband and I would both like another child....not to replace Jude because he is irreplaceable, but it was always the plan. We have just been seriously side tracked and derailed from our plan. I have no idea if we will pursue this dream either, but a lot if up in the air right now.

Jude is well. He is smiling and happy. His G button site is a bit pink but the antibiotic ointment is helping.

Oh and now that it is getting colder be be kitty has been popping at the door again. I let him in and he wants back out. I put him out and he wants back in. It's a battle!

An anti bullying message.

I am sure you have seen this, but I had to share.

 

Good for her! Obesity may be a problem in America, but so is bullying! There are many medical reasons that women and men can be over weight. He doesn't know if she has one of this issues .......... he doesn't know her at all. It's time we stop looking at people and see color, or weight, or a disability. We need to look at people for what they are.........people. Everyone deserves to be treated equally and without judgement. She acknowledges she has a weight problem and she understands it. I personally look at her and admire her beautiful hair and what high cheek bones she has. Maybe every one's challenge today is to be kind to someone. Notice something beautiful about everyone you come in contact with today and let them know. It may very well just make their day!

When I was in middle school I was going through a very rough time at home. I had very short hair, glasses, a retainer, etc. I was bullied by several classmates and named "Turtle". As I got older and became more self assure I realized I had no control over that situation. No one knew what was going on during my home life, but they should have known not to treat someone so poorly. So I decided I would always proudly accept the Turtle moniker. I also decided I would raise my children to stand up for those being mistreated vs being one of the children that did the bullying. I am proud to say that Emily is very outspoken when she sees someone being teased (especially if they are disabled). My husband is the same way (and he wasn't always like that). So I hope you will join us and let's stomp out bullying!

A happy Jude and a donation

Jude is doing MUCH better! He started back to school on Tuesday and the day went fairly well. He was very tired by the end of the day and pretty cranky. I think it was just an adjustment after resting due to being so ill. We have come so far as a family within the last four years since Jude was born. We are now our own little rolling hospital and we can care for him very well when he is so sick. I know that if a regular healthy child walked into the ER with the issues Jude had they would have hospitalized them. We are now going on two years without an extended hospital stay (knock on wood).

See I feel much better!

Jude is now smiling again! He finds his own ways to communicate with us, but it's primarily smiling or laughing. When he isn't smiling or laughing.........something is wrong.

Emily is doing well too, but pretty overwhelmed with school. She is keeping her grades up, but I worry about her being over extended sometimes. She has a lot more homework this year then she did last year. She is getting ready for her annual birthday/Emily's Smile Boxes party. This will put her over 5000 boxes passed out to local hospitals to help pediatric patients and their siblings. I am very proud of her charity and how much good it has spread throughout the nation. We just shipped supplies to a church in New York to put together 100 boxes for a local hospital. The hospital had emailed us for help, but we were unable to ship that many boxes. We are very grateful the church is helping make this donation possible.

Well have a good day and keep a positive attitude!

Things my grandparents taught me

Things my grandparents taught me (both sides)

1. Spending quality time with a child is way more important than anything else you can do
2. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but if you talk about someone without them being there be prepared to admit to it and give them your reasoning.
3. Death is just a part of life and it can be just as beautiful
4. Don't sweat the small stuff
5. Thunder is just Angels bowling so there is nothing to be scared of.
6. A house is just a house but a family makes it home
7. Friends may come and go, but your family will always be there so treat them nice
8. Frito lays, oreo's, and dr pepper are really bad for you but can always cheer up a really bad day
9. Sometimes God takes little ones because he could not perfect them anymore than they already were.
10. If someone is always upset about something than nothing will ever change them
11. Catching tadpoles can be lots of fun
12. Sometimes there are just no explanations
13. It's okay to be quiet
14. A walk a day keeps the doctor away
15. There is nothing better than a big ripe red apple
16. Save your pennies for a rainy day
17. Stand up for what you believe in, but always be willing to listen to the other side.
18. A child's mud pie is made with love
19. your kids are only little for awhile so let them jump on the bed for a bit
20. Take time to meet your neighbors....they will be calling 911 when you are old.
21. People either work hard or they don't and you cannot normally change that. So don't get a case of the lazy's!
22.Thank you notes should be hand written and sent out promptly
23. Words hurt for more than hitting someone ever will so be careful what you say
24. Never scold a child for breaking a dish. A dish can always be replaced.
25. Always dance with your daughter.

Just my memories today.

Still a sick little guy

Jude is still not well. Now we are back into one of those decision modes........do we take him back to the doctor or wait it out? He is very congested which could signify this is indeed just a viral infection. However, he is coughing so much he cannot sleep well. He sounds like he is breathing through a honeycomb with pop rocks mixed in. You can tell it hurts him to cough now, but his vitals are good. His toenails are a little blue, but the rest of him looks pretty good. So it's a toss up! Is it viral or has it become something else? Charlotte said his temp did start elevating again last night. Now my understanding is if it is viral and the temp goes back to normal then a day later starts to elevate again it could be in indication it's now turned into more. WHO KNOWS! It's always a toss up and a wondering game.

We put him to bed early last night so he could get rest. So we administered his sedative, but his breathing so so rhaspy that Mike always gave him the Abuterol and Palmacort (sp). So therefore they countered the sedative. Jude coughed and coughed and then clear as day started yelling "moooooooooooom". Jude rarely makes audible words. So I just had to pull him out of his bed and take him to bed with me and this is what I heard (all you can see is his IV pole it was dark)

Poor guy is just miserable.

I am not sure we will go on our trip in a few weeks or at least not fly. I don't feel comfortable going so far with Jude not doing well lately.

911 What's your emergency? The issue with FT Worth's Annexed section.

When my husband and I decided to move to the popular city of Roanoke, TX we were not aware we were moving into an area of land that had been annexed for TX Motor Speedway in 1995. The only thing we were concerned about was finding a great school district for my child and the new baby we were going to have. We also wanted to find a nice house they could call home. When we purchased our home we had no idea our baby would suffer a massive stroke and need full time medical care. We have had to call 911 due to Jude's condition a handful of times. The Fort Worth Fire Department and Med Star EMT'S have been AMAZING. However........did you catch what I wrote? That's right...we live in Roanoke and Fort Worth emergency responds. Due to the annex we basically feel we are a floating city that no one wants to claim. We know to stay calm in situations with Jude and if possible we transport him ourselves. We do this because we have learned that calling 911 in our area equals a very slow response time.

Sunday morning I heard Jude coughing over the baby monitor. This is not unusual and it generally takes a pat on the back or rolling him to a different side to remedy the situation. However, on Sunday he was having a very difficult time. I first administered CPT which is where you use a small cup to pat on the front and back. My assumption was that Jude had phlegm stuck in his throat and needed help dislodging it. However he continued to wheeze and started to turn very pale. I then administered an abuterol treatment and connected his stats monitor. His Blood oxygen read 70. This is real low, but I know the machines are not always reliable. So I secured the toe monitor tighter and rechecked his vitals. I counted his breaths 1, 2,3,4,5......to fast I thought. I took his abuterol mask off and turned Jude on his side. I checked his fingernails........blue.........his toenails.........blue.........around his mouth....blue. Heart rate - 220. Respiratory rate 67. Time to call 911.

I walked into our bedroom calmly where Mike was sleeping, "Mike I need you to wake up and call 911 please". He looked like a cat coming out of a net "WHAT????". He then followed me "what is going on". I had Jude still on his side started giving CPT on his back again. I explained the situation quickly, but Mike was still half asleep. He responded "I think we should transport him". I said " The baby has blue fingers and toes I will not be one of those mothers that thinks she can transport when I know he needs oxygen". So I called 911...............and thus the reason for my rant today.

I cannot remember verbatim the conversation but it went something like this....
911 how may I help you?
Me: This is Jennifer Ortiz and I have an emergency with my son I am in Chadwick farms and I need Roanoke to respond.
911: You are requesting Roanoke?
Me: Yes. They are 3 miles vs FT Worth who takes 18 minutes.
911: Roanoke? This is FT Worth 911 with caller requesting transport from Roanoke

After that basically Roanoke said they wouldn't help us and sent me back to FT Worth. Luckily FT Worth knew and had already dispatched Med Star. It took 14 minutes for the fire department to arrive and 18 minutes for the ambulance to arrive. Once they got there they were amazing, but it was an unnerving scene. They immediately hooked up oxygen and an IV and carried Jude to the ambulance vs using the normal stretcher. Mike said we spent over 20 minutes in front of our house stabilizing Jude prior to transport. His seizures were coming in waves one after another with full convulsions on some. He was one sick little guy with a fever of 103.8 auxiliary which is actually 104.8. They believe he had a viral infection that caused febrile seizures on top of his regular seizures which caused his blood oxygen to drop and heart rate to sky rocket. Once at the hospital he was tended to, regulated, and we felt comfortable taking him back home.

We have had continuous issues with the response time after calling 911. I even had an issue once being transferred FOUR times to different cities because 911 wasn't sure which city should respond. That was the incident where Jude had aspirated and the doctor's were amazed he made it. On one trip (I won't mention which one because this EMT was amazing) an EMT looked at me and said
"Ma'am I am sorry it took us so long to respond"
Me: "I didn't want to say anything because I know it's not your fault"
EMT: "No it's not, but something needs to be done about your area and everyone in this vehicle knows it"
Me: "What happened to the Med Star that was stationed off West Port Pkwy?"
EMT: "They cancelled it for budget reasons"
Me: "Sigh, wonder how they would feel if it was their child that was sick"
EMT: "Good question"
Me: "Look we are well educated and know how to care for our son, but what if someone in this neighborhood had a massive heart attack? Every second counts!"
He agreed with me.

In my mind the medical industry should render aid first and ask questions later. I don't know the politics going on between the cities due to the annex. I do know Roanoke wouldn't allow me to rent their clubhouse at a resident rate because I was technically in FT Worth with a Roanoke address. However, not renting me your clubhouse is very different then not helping a child. Again in an emergency situation every second counts and 18 minutes feels like a lifetime. Something needs to be done! I want to make sure that anyone that suffers a heart attack, a stroke, falls, or any life threatening emergency can be handled in our area. In fact, I read on the blog of the mother of the little boy that drowned it took about the same time to respond to him. I wonder if that situation could have been different?

I feel this is about money. This is two cities fighting over the annex and no one wants to officially claim us. 14-18 minutes in my mind is an unacceptable response time. I work for an insurance company and we will not insure any home with more than a 7 minutes response time....why? Because by the time you reach 14-18 minutes what do you think a fire is going to do? Let's put this in perspective........if you had a child that was seriously injured and every single second count.........how would you feel being on the line for that long?

Something needs to be done. I am asking the local TV station or someone to pull my 911 call and listen to it. I educated, I am medically aware, and this is unacceptable! That is my rant for the day. I am however very thankful Jude is doing better.

a little update

Things are still going well. Jude is adjusting and loving his new wheelchair and we are working on getting a van to house it. He got new AFO'S yesterday which is wonderful. They support his feet and keep them straight vs curling under due lack of use. Jude is still have asence seizures. It makes me wonder how long he was having these before we caught them. I thought his seizures had been decreasing, but it looks like they just took on a different hard to detect form. However, he is still very happy. He is also having great "reactions" to certain people and items. He gets excited when he hears people he knows and he literally squeals every time I read him "Good Night Gorilla".

Emily is as busy as ever, but doing well. I am hoping to let her participate in a little pageant near our house in September to see how she does with her own hair/make up and her modeling prior to Miss Texas Teen USA. We also have her annual Smile Box party set for October. We will be putting together 350 boxes to benefit the DFW Pediatric hospitals.

His wheelchair is here and a reflection

Jude got his new wheelchair! We are just so excited for him. His other chair was so uncomfortable for him and I think it really hurt his back. The mobility sales person and the therapist met at my house last night to fit Jude into the chair. He loved it so much that he fell fast asleep.

Then this morning he actually got to see out of the school bus.

 

The head rest is really working for him so far in regards to positioning. He has about 30 seconds of neck control before his head falls. So we really like that this rest if keeping his head up for him. We are very blessed. The wheelchair is even in Dallas Cowboys colors and has his name on it.

We are trucking along lately. Mike and I were reflecting today on how far our lives have come in the last few years. We are in a really good place in life right now. We are accepting of what has happened, feel blessed with our children, and we are happy in our marriage. With that being said my life is still pretty chaotic (who's isn't?). So if I don't call, or write, or forget something vitally important to you just know it's not intentional at all.

It's really nice to finally feel happy and accepting. I truly love our life!

A party and a story

Me: Mike look! We could move here and our house payment would be SO cheap. We could literally pay it off in no time! I wouldn't have to work so hard. http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/8535-Brahma-Dr_Justin_TX_76247_M81684-90018
Mike: Um it's a mobile home
Me: It's a nice mobile home sitting on an acre of land. We could plant trees and save up to build our custom home.
Mike: That's it you have lost it
Me: I have not!
Mike: I meant that as much as you hate storms/tornado's you are going to live there?
Me: Well.............we will get a storm shelter!

Guess he didn't go for it? I love love my house, but the idea of not having a house payment.......well it makes you consider other options. Just imagine the possibilities.

Jude is well. He had a great birthday party and had so many loving people attend. He did have a seizure when a balloon popped and everyone got very quiet. A few people were also very concerned, but I explained it was a mild seizure and something we are used to. I forget that people are not used to be around him all the time. My friends/family came and all gathered around celebrating his life and I even felt my moms presence with us.

So I do have to share something adorable. Jude doesn't give full expression of communication to us very often. Well I generally read "Goodnight Gorilla" to him, but we have taken a break from that story lately and had moved on to "Brown Bear Brown Bear". Last night I pulled out "Goodnight Gorilla". I just said the title of the book and Jude squealed and smiled. He then made audible sounds throughout the entire reading. He really loves that book. Here is a picture after Jude's party

 

Perfect

Acceptance of one's life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from the struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices.
Paul Tournier

School, ruffled feathers, and new seizures

Wow a blog from me and guess what ............ it's kinda bitchy! lol

Yesterday was a day mixed with a lot of emotions. My kiddo's were going back to school again. Emily was (as usual) very well organized and had everything ready to go. It amazes me how that child can be so efficient at getting places on time, but have the messiest room in America! Overall she did very well yesterday. However last night she did have a slight meltdown on if the new theater teacher will "like' her or not. She spent about forty five minutes in my room debating with me on why it's important that the theater teacher like her. I kept replying "Emily, all you can do is give her your best and if that's not good enough then try again at another time". I think she was overly tired from a very exciting day. Mike finally booted her out of our room and made her go to sleep.

Jude also had a good day yesterday. I think he was very excited to go back to school and to see his teacher Mrs. Ruben. Mrs Ruben just adores Jude and always tells us how she appreciates the opportunity to get to know him.

 

Once I got home from work I had paperwork waiting on me from Jude's school to fill out. First I was instructed that any time Jude is out of school they need a written note from either myself or the doctor not a phone call. Fine I will comply and I won't even hope on my soapbox about this today. Second, we had to fill out paperwork about Jude's capabilities. The questions resembled: How does your child communicate? A. Not at all B. Sound C. Telling you what he wants, etc. By the end of the five page questionnaire I asked Mike if I could just draw a big finger on the front flipping them off. He chuckled and said "what do you expect them to send?". I looked at him and replied, "I have no idea what I expect. There isn't anything wrong with the questionnaire it's just the way it makes me feel". He said "I totally get it". It's nice having someone that "totally get's it".

I have been very irritated with people in general lately. Isn't that sad to say? I constantly remind myself that people are not living in my shoes and therefore cannot relate to how I feel. I cannot expect them to know what it's like to have a disabled child. Despite my love for Jude his medications, feeding, seizures, etc do not change. I have found myself getting very angry lately when people tell me they are tired or complain about their children. I get even angrier when people cannot attend events that are SUPER hard for me to attend. People that state they may not be able to "help" out with a function because their life is hard. Your life is hard? (insert me GREATLY rolling my eyes). It's the little things and the little comments that are really really getting to me. Which is strange...why now? Why after four years? Don't worry I remind myself that ours family has nurses, good jobs, etc and our life could be really really different. Shoot, Jude may not be here and that would be AWFUL! So don't think I am just sitting over here stewing in some chair I am just saying I get my feathers ruffled a bit. I am learning to smooth my feathers back, but a few stray ones pop out.

With that being said Jude is now experiencing absence seizures http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absence_seizure . This is a new development and I put a call into the neuro about it this morning. I am waiting on their return call. Sometimes they are triggered by a noise (ie - Bigs barking) or sometimes there is nothing that triggers them. This morning Bigs barked and I caught Jude in his bed just staring blankly at the side of his bed. I called his name several times but he never moved. He also looked like he wasn't breathing. However, Charlotte stated that many times they breathe shallow during a seizure. After it was over Jude gasped for air and smiled big. Smiling and laughing is his ending reaction to his seizures. He also looks rather pale to me lately, but that may be just a lack of sunshine.

Jude's fourth birthday is this coming weekend. We are so incredibly blessed  One more year until he surpasses the age the doctor told us he would probably "make it "to. I often hear from mothers of special needs children say they were given a range of time in regards to their child's life. This used to anger me that the doctor's did this..........used to (see I have grown through this!). Now I can see that the doctors only do this to help prepare the parents. However, I agree with Jude's neurologist that no one can put an expiration on Jude, but Jude. You know what's funny? Everyone always tells me "Jude has come SO far and has done more than any doctor ever expected". As much as I love Jude let's be realistic........no he hasn't. I don't mean that to sounds harsh, but he hasn't. He has done exactly what Dr Riela said he probably would do. Dr Riela's main goal has always been to keep Jude healthy so we can enjoy him as long as possible and he has done a great job of that. Jude receives in home and school therapy multiple times a week. He has made some strides, but not a lot. The difference between now and when Jude was born is that our family......is okay with that. We work with Jude, we try to help him progress, but we accept him just the way he is. We are very thankful for his smile, his laugh, and that he knows who we are. Some people may want more with their special needs children, but I am honestly perfectly satisfied. Jude is perfect JUST the way he is!

My thoughts on certain subjects and therapy equipment

Before I get on my pedestal I wanted to show you guys a picture of some of the therapy equipment Jude has received.

This is Jude's new lift

and this is his new stander

So as you can see my house has a lot of big equipment in it, but we are sure thankful! He cannot use his stander until his new leg braces arrive, but they should be here soon. I cannot WAIT to see his wheelchair either. It's funny how I went from being up set my son is in a wheelchair to being really excited to see his new equipment. I guess time marches on.

Jude still has a a nice size swollen area on his neck which we think is due to his horse collar rubbing on him. It has gotten a bit concerning so we are going to take him to the doctor tomorrow to see if it needs to be lanced. I am sure it will be quick and everything will be fine.

Now I am going to hop on my rhinestone pedestal I am on so much. I have two issues I wanted to tackle tonight because they have been weighing heavy on my heart. I seem to be having an issue lately with how judgemental everyone has become.  First, I would like to tell you about Xander. Last week my husband came home from work literally in tears. He said that an old friend of his four year old son had been transported via care flight to Cook's children as a possible drowning. He told me what an amazing guy his friend Chris (dad) has been and he had no details of what happened. My mind raced wondering what could happened. Small details trickled in and we found out that the little boy had saved a three year olds life. I then really began wondering what happened.....but never one passed judgement because I truly believe it's NOT my right! I was not there, I didn't know what happened, and I had no right making any assumptions. Days later sweet little Xander lost his fight and went to heaven. My heart broke. Mike had not seen his friend in years but he cried off and on all night. He finally came up to me and struggled with his words. He said "Sometimes I think we are lucky". I replied, "well that's good...but why?". He replied "Because since Jude's stroke we have been able to grieve for his loss everyday......we have prepared ourselves the best we can for anything, but people like Chris and his wife that have a normal child ripped away from them just suffer so much". Mike meant well and I just hugged him while he sniffled. We went to the memorial for Xander and released his favorite color balloons.

Mike saw Xander's dad Chris at the memorial and hugged him tight. His mom (who was with Xander when he died) was not there. I tried to wrap my brain around what she was feeling...sadness, grief, .....guilt. I remembered that horrible feeling in your gut when you lose someone so dear and how nothing seems to help it. Misty (his mom) posted on her facebook that when the time was right she would explain what happened. In the mean time the media posted a news stoy of the drowning and ......self righteous judgemental jerks attacked the family. They said CPS should be called, the other kids should be removed, etc etc.....never knowing any detail. People forget it takes merely seconds for a child to drown. It's not like the movies.........they do not splash around and scream help......drowning is a silent killer. I once had a friend who was in the pool with her daughter and noticed her daughters lips turning blue. She realized her daughter was tired and had been breathing through her mouth (which was under water) vs her nose (above water). She pulled her out just in time. While at Xander's memorial above the media released the following video because they were so touched by Xander and his family. http://www.wfaa.com/news/special/uncut/Uncut-Commentary--Update-165773516.html. After Xander's funeral his mom found te courage to post her story. http://thefeelingscomeinwaves.tumblr.com/  I had originally been informed the kids were playing a fish game, but she went throughout the whole day. Tears flowed as I read her story. It's turning around in the store after a split second and your child is gone, it's letting them go on their bike and they break their arm, it's a tragic horrible accident. It happened and rather than judge we should supply them with our prayers.

My next subject is going to be rather controversial, but I am approaching it anyway. I would like you to read and watch the following information and then clear your mind before you read further http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/08/17/toddlers-tiaras-mom-could-lose-custody-daughter-because-puts-her-in-pageants/.  This has been a large topic in the pageant community and one that Emily got wind of last night. So I approached the subject. I said "Emily ........ can you imagine that happening to you." She said "No because daddy knows I love pageants"( Emily has a very supportive father). So I sat there and wondered about Emily being in that courtroom and like I said I want you to clear your minds........now picture an attorney talking to Emily.

"So you are a five time presidential service award winner? You have a 3.8 GPA. You started your own non-profit corporation at the age of ten because your brother suffered a massive stroke? You have made more than 5000 boxes and raised more than $50,000 for your charity. You have won the Barnum Hero Award, the Pediatric Nursing Associations sister of the year, Morgans Wonderlands walk of fame award, etc etc etc all before even going to high school........right. So Emily can you tell me what you and Maddy Verst have in common".

Emily's response? Would be "I have been in pageants since I was 17 months old!" Which was truly her response in an interview she gave to a reporter who said "How are you so well spoken at such a young age?".

Now let me clear something up. I do own a pageant system called Regal Princess. Did I like the Dolly Parton outfit Maddy had on? No.   Do I like the fake teeth, large fake hair, and the over the top make up? No.   However, that's their decision not mine. I don't think by any means she was sexualizing her child because it was all in fun. The Dolly outfit was a replica of an outfit Maddy's mom WORE in pageants as a child. This is a mom who truly loves her child she just made a poor decision. They are a good family loved by many. If the judge rules in the dads favor that means a man who was estranged from his child, didn't pay child support, has a lengthy criminal record, and doesn't even know his kid WINS solely because of the child's extra curricular activity. So here is another tid bit of info. I don't like cheer leading for children........I think it's dangerous and the outfits are to skimpy, but again that's my own personal preference. It doesn't mean I don't stand in awe when I see these amazing kids doing full gymnastic routines for talent at my pageant. It just means I don't choose to put Emily in it. I also don't care for peewee football, but again that's my choice. It doesn't mean I condemn ANY mom or dad that chooses to let their children try those sports. I figure if the child gets old enough and doesn't like them they will hopefully speak up. Then again they may love them just like Em loves pageants.  Emily has begged to go on that stupid reality show Toddler's and Tiaras. I have explained to her time and time again that she isn't a toddler in a tiara and that they just edit, cut, and re-cut to get what they want.....for ratings. Emily insists she could get them to show the positive side of pageantry, but I just explain to her she is still naive. What they fail to show is........

Best friends that met when they were tiny babies and grew up in the pageant world.

Beautiful opportunities to recognize a true queen who just wanted to be a princess for a day

They don't show beauty queens helping their community

or a once ten year old Emily speaking to an entire audience about the benefits of community service and accepting her diamond award for her hard work.

and they surely don't ever show the natural photo's Maddy Verst has taken to enter in the toned down pageants. A picture showing a radiant beautiful well taken care of little girl.

I want everyone to now stop and think about what would happen if a judge started telling parents they cannot participate in particular extra curricular or everyday events. Maybe what happened to Bai MacFarlane? Bai MacFarlane (sahm) lost all custody of her four boys because she wanted to continue to home school and wanted to continue to raise her children Catholic. Her husband Bud had found a young girlfriend, sued for nofault divorce, and then found a judge that didn't like Catholics or homeschooling.

What about cheer leading, dance (eeek dance moms), football, etc. There is no end to what they could take your children away for. It makes you stop and think. You may not AGREE with something, but that is your opinion. Emily has done pageants for years and she is a well read, well spoken, well mannered, compassionate, and loving girl. Does she have her faults? Sure...she is messy!!! However, she is a GOOD girl!

The world has lost many good people due to other people's opinions and judgements. People in our country are so easily manipulated by pictures, edited commentary, or edited video. From drownings, to pageants, to home school, to more. Yet they weren't there when it happened, have never attended an event in question, or have no personal relation to the issue.

A little update or two

Well I have not posted in a really long time. I have been super busy and I guess I just haven't emotionally needed to post. We are doing well! Jude is marching right along and even has all new therapy equipment. He received a new stander, a lift, and a new bath chair. The only thing we are waiting on is his new wheelchair. We have noticed that Jude's front teeth are turning very very yellow. I really believe this is from his breathing treatments we have twice a day. We brush his teeth really good, but the medication seems to be destroying his teeth. Granted they are baby teeth, but it still concerns me.

Jude's sister set him up his on facebook page. We have been updating it with video's, pictures, and more. So if I do not update my blog you can always like his page and see what Jude has been up to. There is a really precious video on there from last night showing how Jude plays with me.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Jude-Ortiz/183070828492079

A little update, a golf tournament, and a pageant

I am still here :)

I have been so busy with work, Emily, Jude, Emily's Smile Boxes, and Regal Princess that I have not had time to blog. I just wanted everyone to know that Jude is doing wonderful. We are waiting to hear if his equipment will be approved. We cannot wait for him to get his new wheelchair. Emily is doing very well too. She was in a golf tournament yesterday hosted by the FPR foundation. They raised funds for Emily's Smile Boxes, The Roanoke food pantry, and the Liberty Institute. This foundation has truly been amazing to Emily. Not only have they donated numerous times to her charity they even sent a sponsorship for her Miss Texas Teen USA endeavor. Emily's Smile Boxes is still going strong and we have been shipping out about 5-10 boxes a week. I explained to someone today the dynamic of the need for donations. Each box costs about 10-15 dollars to ship (depending on location). Then there is the expense of the box itself which is about $5-$7. We love making kids smile but it does take funds to make this happen. So we are so thankful for company's like FPR! We have some funds right now that we are hoping to put towards a fall box party. We would love to load the kids up with Halloween and Christmas boxes. I have also learned that there is just so much I can do. I really like the pace of her charity right now because I can keep up with it.

So I am also working away on Regal Princess. The pageant industry is hard to explain sometimes. I have poured everything I can into this system and I am stressing. Without the turn out I need I struggle with continuing my system. I know I will, but I still struggle. I have so much in store for each one of these precious kids that will attend this summer. I cannot wait to see their smiling faces and how they respond to the surprises I have. I also have so much planned for them to teach about the benefits of community service. If you help your fellow man you help everyone!

Jude is over here talking and smiling and it is truly making my night. I hope everyone is well and I am sorry about the delay in updating.

The 4th and more

Tuesday July 3rd they start fireworks shows near our house. So we brought the dogs (Aka..Houdini's) into the house because they hate loud noises. We have tracked their escape tactics start during thunderstorms, fireworks, or loud noises. So they were inside and then we started to sedate Jude because the loud fireworks can cause startle seizures.

July 4th we went to my dads house and they had a mattress set up for Jude to lay on. It made our lives SO much easier! So we hung out over there for awhile eating a great meal and visiting with family. Jude really enjoyed having his family around.

We are still having issues with our dog Bigsby giving Jude startle seizures due to his barking when someone knocks on the door. I had purchased the Sonic Egg and it worked for about two weeks. Now Bigs just runs upstairs and barks through the egg. It's so strange because he knows what he is doing is not allowed. I know dogs bark, but it's a nervous bark with Bigs. I am wondering if I can get the Dog Whisperer...lol.

It's getting closer to my pageant that I run and that means I start to have nightmares due to stress. It's actually very comical. I am OVERLY organized so I have ridiculous dreams like not having enough score sheets, forgetting contestant numbers, not having a tabulator, etc. It will all be perfect, but I still have these dreams.

a new wheelchair!

In 2008 when I walked in for my gender sonogram to find out what my precious baby was going to be I never thought I would be picking out wheelchair colors for him years later. However, with that being said.........for the first time we really had fun with it. Yesterday we sat down with a medical supply company and ordered a new wheelchair, a life, a new bath chair, and a stander. Jude has officially grown out of everything .... even his AFO'S! So we picked a great wheelchair that will be sparkly silver, with blue padding, and his name on the back. He will be traveling in Cowboys colors. He will also be a lot more comfortable.

He is so uncomfortable in his current stander so they picked one that will be better suited to his needs. I tuned out a bit on the lift because I have no idea how to use one. I will have to be instructed on it and then I will be better able to emotionally and physically handle the lift. We had our nurse, the physical therapist, and the medical company at our house yesterday ordering the supplies. They all worked together to find the best product for Jude.

Emily is diligently work on Miss Texas Teen. She is walking around the house in her high heels, studying the videos from prior shows, and working on her interview. Interview is going to be the most difficult for her. She is extremley intelligent, but it's molding a 14 year old mind into an 18 year old when answering questions. People (men) tend to think beauty pageants are just about your look, but they are also about your education, poise, attitude, and charity work. She is also still working on getting sponsors to help her with this pageant. She has her entry fee, gown, shoes, lessons.........which all start now. So far people have been responsive and hopefully she will receive some contributions. She has worked so hard for others and it's so nice to see her get to work on something that's truly for herself. However, if in the future Emily was able to obtain this title it would be amazing having their company back her charity. Emily's Smile Boxes is doing well. We have shipped a lot of boxes off lately and we have several groups currently making boxes in different areas of the country. Emily has also dropped off to Cook's in Southlake several times and various other places. I plan on holding another box making party, but it will have to be after Regal Princess. I am just to overwhelmed right now with everything. I am hoping we can make some Halloween boxes for the hospitals. However, Emily is asking to incorporate another birthday that includes donations for her boxes and box making to benefit hospitals. So I will see which party will be best suited for the time and donations we have.

Here is a recent drop off at Medical City Dallas.

Hope everyone has a great week.

Going to sleep and middle school drama

Last night I was talking to Jude as I was putting him to bed. This is how he communicates back to me

He had a good night. I have found that he likes long sleeved pajamas with cold air conditioning and he sleeps better.

Also, I was very proud of something Em said last night. We are working with her on interview questions for her pageant I mentioned. I asked her "Do you truly believe everyone is a winner?". She stopped and replied "YES! I believe that if you go out there an do your best then that's what matters and I also believe that learning to lose gracefully makes anyone a winner". That's my kid!!! We also had a discussion last night about middle school drama. She said "Mom..........a friend of a friend said she doesn't like me because I think I am to perfect". I explained that someday little things like this really won't matter. I then was very blunt. I said "Emily that girl is judging you based on what she sees versus what she knows and you don't want to be friends with someone that superficial. Plus, coming from a mom...........I would prefer someone say you are perfect then the school drug addict or school well .... you know". It looked like a light bulb went off and she replied, "You are RIGHT mom!!". We then had a discussion about how you can tell the difference between good honest people and those that aren't so great. I am glad she met her friend Kaylee because she is a life time friend!  

Ps. The pageant Emily is competing in is Miss Texas Teen USA! The BIG Leagues. I know some people might not want me to announce it yet, but she is so excited. I am really happy for her. She is working hard already. It's not until November and we will update the blog when she goes to compete. We are working on some company sponsorships for her and it's going pretty well so far. It looks like a lot of preparation ahead, but we are prepared.