So Jude and I watched that new show Secret Millionaire last night....I bawled (Em was asleep but she is going to watch it tonight)! If you have a chance I highly recommend watching it. The premise is that they find a millionaire that is willing to go undercover into poverty for a week, and end up donating at least $100k of their own money to someone needy. It really makes you appreciate your life, and to see how easy one tragic moment can change your life. I partly understood how quickly your life can change from my car wreck. Literally in the blink of an eye my life changed, and it scared me. Anyway, it truly made me want to be a millionaire just so I can help people. There was one lady who had been homeless before and now that she has her feet a little on the ground she gets up at 4:30am just to go help other homeless people...why? Because someone got up at 4:30 for her.... WOW! I cannot even get up to go to church on Sundays. Well, it's a little more than that but still the point is she does so much when she has so little.
My reference above is because I have a huge problem with large conforming churches, and some of the people in them. It's been an issue of mine since I was younger because I always felt like the people were there for social status vs the true reason they should be there. That's my own hang up, and some people argue with me over it. Point is ever time I try and end up going I just cannot bring myself to continue going. It makes me rather ill when I look around at all the people that have lost the reason for being there, the gold inlaid altars, the money plates shoved in your face, etc etc. If I could find a nice little country church with singing, true friendships, and people instilled with the proper values for being there I would go in a heartbeat, and I know youth would benefit Em. No offense to anyone that goes there, but every time I pass the "white house" on 183 with the pastor lady that has the huge lavender hair I roll my eyes. That place is the epitome of what I am referring to. They have a show on TV and if you get a chance to watch it then I need to provide no further explanation because you will see.
So Mike went and worked last night at his friends salon until almost midnight. By the time he got home I was in tears, lonely, and curled up in bed. I tried to explain to him that I would prefer not to even get my hair done if it means he will be gone that late. It made me feel self conscience, and seeing how I still feel like a fat cow that's not good. I know he was truly helping him, and I know he loves me and would never hurt me, but I still hated it. Plus, since he has been watching Jude he is so ready for me to take him when I get home from work. Problem is I walk through the door from work and get handed the baby. Which I love......but I still have to cook, go to the restroom, etc. So I sat down with Jude last night, and held him then told everyone to fend for themselves on food. When Mike makes mention that he has had the baby all day I remind him I wake up early to give him his paci, etc and then work all day. I would hold the baby all day if I could, but I can't. He is a good dad though, and Jude loves being around him. Well I am off to work I will be really happy tomorrow when it's Friday. I like the weekends when my whole family is together.