Tuesday, December 30, 2008


So the doctor called back, and they are now putting Jude on topamax in addition to the phenobarb. It just sounds like so much medication to a tiny baby! We can also give the klonopin as needed. So now my head is swimming with possible reactions, and more. I have to pick the medication up after work, and I guess we will try it out.

Mike is really low again, and I am not sure what to do. This has been the hardest part of this ordeal for me is watching him suffer. With Jude I have a motherly instinct that takes over........that's the only way I can describe it. Allowing myself time to grieve for the son I feel I lost, but appreciating the son I now have. Make sense? So to me I know Jude will never be normal, but he is mine and he needs to watched after no matter what he needs my strength. Of course my heart breaks for him, but I have him right now and right now he needs my 100%. Yet with Mike I cannot fix his heart...... I guess I feel a little lost right now. It's been a pretty down day.

I am going to see if I cannot find Em a friends house to spend the night at to give her a break from the medical atmosphere. It's the end of her Christmas break. I think she is fine though she called me earlier and was "scrap booking".

No comments: