Wed 5/7

Well it's another day and another day at work, and let me tell you that I think I have already had to deal with my stupid issue of the day! My home office finally changed my log in/email/password, etc to my new last name. You know since I have only been married since OCTOBER!!!!!!! I mean we were rounding the corner for a year here. So they discontinued my old log in, and guess how they notified me they finally made the change? Email. BRILLIANT people just brilliant. So I asked the tech guy "Um exactly how did you think I could access my new email?" His response? "ummmmmm". So I have since gotten that cleared up only to find out I don't have access to billing, or claims, or well anything. It's great to be with a company for 13 years and hear "I am sorry I just don't see that persons name in our system".... sigh.........here's your sign tech people!
So while getting ready this morning Em and I talked a bit about Jude. I asked her if she understands that if we do have Jude that he could have some serious issues. She said "yes I understand, but he won't........I mean he will have problems but nothing serious. Like he will be slow in stuff like social studies and math." I asked her how she knew that and she just replied "Because I know." Hmmmmmmmm out of the mouths of babes I guess. Last week she did admit to me that she is worried if something happens to Jude I won't ever be the same again. Well I guess that's a fair assumption, but I assured her it would never affect our relationship. So I saw my family again last night like I said and my cousin tried to convince me the triple chocolate cake we shared for dessert would help build the baby's brain cortex. Not sure if that will work as good as the omega filled granola and yogart I had this morning, but it sounded good at the time :). So I guess just a few more days and we will see if his ventricles have increased or not. Hopefully, they are still the same!! Oh and I am not sure if I mentioned it, but my Aunt + grandma from Missouri are going with me to the re-scan. That makes me feel better since my aunt was in the medical profession for so long. All of my fam has really pulled together for me and I appreciate it so much. My sister brought us some dinner one night, Kay is always checking up, and everyone has just been very sweet. I also appreciate Sarah M fielding all the phone calls each day, and just love all my friends who have been so supportive. Whatever happens will happen and we will make it through this. If we go Friday and the ventricles have not increased and we continue on and get a special needs child then it was meant to be. I personally don't think I can find it within myself to terminate a child that might be ok.

Anyway, I am going to try to add some pics on this blog. I have heard it is reaching people that don't know me and that way you can put a face with a story.

Oh and if this ear doesn't STOP ringing I may go insane! Really I cannot take it anymore!