Friday, January 7, 2011

fate, and my car

Well this morning about 4am I was close to tears, but I didn't tell Mike. I am so tired of waking up so many times a night, and I wonder if it is always going to be like this. Jude is worth it, but I need a full nights uninterrupted sleep, bad. Mike made an interesting comment last night, which made me start to think. He said that we can never escape our fate, and if we try to, it will find us in the end. I took care of my grandmother for years because she was elderly, and ended her life with dementia. Taking care of the elderly is very trying, and if you haven't done it, you just cannot understand. So in the end her dementia got very bad, and since Em was just a baby, the doctor suggested a nursing home. I felt terrible putting her in, but I did. On top of that my life was so busy, that I should have visited her more than once or twice a week. Anyway, I have always felt very guilty about my grandmother. I was very young when I was taking care of her, and I could have done a better job.

So on a lighter note, let's talk about my car. When we bought our house I got rid of my expensive piece of poo BMW, and got a Chrysler Sebring. Little did I know that I would really need an SUV that would house a wheelchair. Anyway, so my little Sebring has been pretty reliable, but's now the comical existence of my life. Right after the warranty expired, my horn decided to start playing tricks on me. One morning on my way to work I was sitting at a red light, and my horn just started blaring for no reason. I hit the horn several times trying to make it stop, but all you would hear is BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I began to panic as the people in the cars around me began to glare at me with resentment, and the horn finally shut off. This happened to me several more times before Mike finally pulled out the circuit that stops the horn. I got rather good at just waving at people in the other cars with the Miss America wave. I figured it would make them wonder if I was really crazy, or was it the car that had the issue. So we finally took the car in, and found out the entire horn pad was out, and it would be $900 to replace it. So since we didn't have the extra money at that time, we went on our way. I figured if I got really mad at someone I could just roll down my window, and shout. Although, it is important to get this replaced at some point, because it could notify someone of an impending accident. So, since I still had my working drivers side window I felt alright, until it decided to stop working too. So now if there is an issue I just look like I am insane bouncing up and down, waving my arms from behind the steering wheel. Imagine the stares I get! Imagine going through the drive through, or the ATM....I open my car door every time, and people just look at me strange.  So this is on the #1 to do list when we get back from vacation. Operation fix Jenn's car.


Jamie said...

I know how exhausting the no sleeping can be. I have no idea about this bit was wondering if any of your nursing hours could be switched to night time hours- maybe even just once a week? My mother in law keeps Anna occasionally on Saturdays and I swear that one night of uninterrupted sleep changes everything! Just a thought. Thinking of you guys as usual...

jocalyn said...

that is a great suggestion! you can also use your mdcp respite money for night time attendents and keep your day time nursing hours the same.

we seriously considered that a few months ago...but now kendall's been sleeping much better! thank goodness and knock on wood!

trade that car in in join the mini-van crew! ha! it was hard for me to do, but i'm so glad i did. also, keep in mind an suv won't work for a power chair later on! the floor isn't low enough. trust me i tried everything to avoid the minivan.