Thursday, November 6, 2008

So stressed!!!!!!!

Well my day started off well because Jude woke up smiling, and I got to spend a little time with him before work. Em still had a fever but it had dropped, and she seemed in a better mood. So I went to work with my new positive attitude. The day went well ........ Sarah and I laughed, Mike took me to lunch (since I had lost my debit card), Em called in a good mood, etc. Em's dad was so nice and got her to the dr and she has a biral throat infection, but should be better soon. That was more good news.
Then the bottom dropped out that I fell through the hole. Picture a fire station and someone falling through the hole where the ladder is ...... that was me.....see me? eeeeeeeeeeeeeeek (that was me screaming on the way down).
First, Mike's dad called and told his mom (that is staying with us) that he was in the hospital. Turns out he had an appt with his heart dctr who immediately sent him in for an angioplasty (sp?) today and he didn't tell anyone, but called when it was completed. Not JOKING he really didn't tell anyone, but he says he is fine and Mike is taking him home tomorrow. Anyway, so that all worked out and hopefully he will recover soon. That is so like a man though to just not say anything. "Hey babe I am having a major procedure today and seeing how I am elderly this could be an issue" NOPE NOTHING. He just called "Hey I had this done today and I am in room 260 but I am fine see ya tomorrow. " That would be like me "Hey I had the baby today it was no big deal see ya tomorrow people". Mike's mom is so funny about it too. She said he is grumpy so he got sent to the hospital alone....even though that isn't true. She is just adorable.
So the bad part is that once I got home today Mike and I started talking about next week when his mom goes home and the schedule for the kids. The original plan was that Jude would go to Mike's moms, and I would pick him up each day when I got off work. It's probably about a 20min drive in traffic to pick him up. Then Em would get off the bus with her friend Addison and stay there for a few minutes until Mike got home from his work and picked her up. Problem is Mike got hurt on that job! So he is now supervising a paint job an hour and a half away. So he mentioned to me TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYY days away from D DAY that he cannot guarantee he will be home by 4. OMG! I heard his words and my mind began to race and for the first time ever it started overflowing!!!

So this would mean one of the following......

1. Em comes home alone and could stay alone for 3 hours...not an option sorry folks I just cannot do that.
2. I ask her friends mom if Em could stay longer but this means until like 7 way I am not putting someone out like that
3. I cough up another $300 to put her in aftercare, but they are only open until 6:00 or 6:30 and there is no guarantee I will be there in time to get her.

So if I came up with the extra $300 I could probably get my boss to let me go 30 mins early each day to make sure I get Jude and Em on time. Problem is I just picked up an extra $300 a month bill for Judes health insurance. I cannot do another small mortgage each month because that would be $600 more a month I wasn't paying. SO what do you do? I had everything planned as usual. I was responsible and did what I was suppose to, but now all of a sudden it's all falling apart. According to my husband I should demand a raise at work because it's owed to Sarah and I both. (I took a huge paycut to help my boss out several months ago). I have gone through all sorts of scenarios tonight......from going part time because I am paying more out now anyway to continue to work, having mike at home and me work, talking to Ems friends mom about her staying later, putting Em in daycare, putting Jude and Em both in daycare, finding a different job, drinking an entire bottle of wine (too bad I don't have any...damn diet), etc. So I have no idea how this will turn out. Mike cute Catholic mom insists the answer will be shown to hear from her prayers tonight. I cannot afford to go part time right now, and it would be fair to Sarah either. Maybe his mom really will get an answer to her prayers....I sure hope so. When did things get so difficult in life?? It seems like since April when we found out about Jude's issue that life has gotten increasingly more difficult. I am convinced I have a curse on me and plan to take a bath in cleansing sea salt.!! Sorry to complain people, but I had to write about all this. My husbands voice gets increasingly louder when he is stressed too which generally just makes me bawl. He grew up with 7 kids and that's how they were. My timid self isn't used to that and needs to get a thicker skin. I need to get a thicker skin with a lot of stuff I guess from work, to home, to all sort of things. Have a great night all. Just think tomorrow is Friday.......I am sleeping until 11 think I am joking? Call I dare you...ha!


PurpleQuilterQueen said...

Jenn, Jenn, Jenn,

I feel like I know you so well. I actually met you years ago at Jerry and Michelle's house. This it was a b-day party for Katelynn. I'm a friend of Jerry's mother Susie. I actually worked with Michelle and Susie at American Airlines years ago. My name is Jennifer Suleiman. Anyway...Susie turned me onto your blog right before you had little Jude and I'm hooked! He is such a cutie! I sympathize with your situation too. I am pregnant (27 wks) and we are about to lose our house. Yes, our brand new house we just built last year. Seems the builder didn't calculate the taxes correctly and now the mortgage is enormous. It's on the market so we will see. there anyway you can change to an earlier shift at work so that Em doesn't have to be at the neighbors so long? Or maybe her Dad can pick her up daily and keep her for a bit? Our school actually has YMCA afterschool care at her school and it's pretty inexpensive. Just throwing out some options. I have a 7 year old daughter named Emma and we are about to have to do that so that my husband can take a second job to help keep us in our house at least til it sells. He currently works nights and is able to pick her up from school and I take her in the mornings. your blog so much! I'll pray that Mike's mom hears an answer in her prayers too! Take care!
Jennifer (email anytime)

Cjengo said...

Awww well aren't you so sweet! It's nice to hear from you again. The problem with the after school is it's $75 a week, and I just picked up Jude's health insurance. Also, they only stay open until 6:00pm which isn't late enough. I just get off to late and there are only two of us here. I am up a creek, but we will figure it out. :)

PurpleQuilterQueen said...

I hope it does all work out. Just seems crappy while in the process! Best of luck. Jennifer