Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I found it........

Ok I needed to compose myself after my prior post before I explained everything. I guess today was a combination of going back to work, a string of crazy emotions, and everything going wrong. Ever have one of those days where it seems like Murphy's law is hiding out on your hind quarters? The day seemed to be full of everything going wrong, but we all just have days like that sometimes. Emily kept texting me at work because her fever spiked up again. After that I called to check on Jude and he was yelling in the background and Mike's mom seemed a little stressed. So I felt overwhelmed because it was all out of my control. I guess it feels like it did when Jude was still inside and I couldn't see him and know he was ok. So I started getting teary and upset, but knew I had to suck it up and continue my job. Then the new system at work started acting crazy again, my lists were losts, clients duplicated, and labels not printing. I cried a little to Sarah and told her how much I want to work part time. It's not an option right now though, and she understands because she wants a baby so bad, and cannot imagine going back to work afterwards. I asked her "Do you ever feel like you hate feeling so responsible regarding our job, but then are thankful for having a good job?". She said "Are you kidding me?? I go from hating it, to loving it, to liking it, back to hating it everyday". ha! I guess it's the fact I spent 3 months at home, and I can see how much I miss during the day.
So anyway I emailed Emily's dad and asked him if he could help me with getting her to the doctor. He asked if I could just take her to care now after work, and I explained that I still had to take her softball pics we took to her team, pick up her homework, Em was begging me to come home, and I still had to cook dinner. So he was very nice and said he would be happy to take her to the dr in the morning...whew that will help.
So I left for the day to haul my lil well getting littler tail to the softball fields to drop off the pictures Mike took of Emily's team. They missed their pics with the professional photographer so Mike took the team photo's. They turned out very well. So when pulling out of the parking lot at work to rush the photo's off my gas light comes on. No problemo Jenn Jenn pulls into the gas station.......only to remember I left my debit card in the ATM machine. ARGH! So I have to rush to 7-11 on the other side of the highway to get gas, and then I almost got hit while pulling into the parking lot. I then rush in to write a check, and then off I go. I finally get everything done, field more texts from Em, and as I walk in the door I hear Jude screaming WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Oh my! He wasn't happy and everyone was at a loss. So I took over and gave him some milicon, held him close, and fed him 2 ounces. He turned into a happy little baby, and slept for a bit. When he woke up he wanted me to hold him and not put him down..........and that put a smile on my face. Emily gave me hugs and kisses and went up to her nice room that she loves, and I remembered that my job provides a great deal for her. I looked down at Jude and remembered that my job provides great medical care for him. So I again felt at peace and from that point on decided I would only be positive from now on. I remembered how lucky I am to have his mom here because with Em being sick I would have been out of work for days without her.
During my crisis I had tried to call Mike to vent, but his phone kept ringing odd and saying he wasn't available. Finally at 8:30pm my poor tired hubby called me from a strange number. It turns out his phone had been turned off in error, and on top of that one of his workers had a blow out. So Mike had to go get him, and then he finally got home around 10pm. He walked through the door beat tired, covered in paint, and barely had his eyes open. I said "looks like your day was as hard as mine". He just smiled though and everything was better!!! So I found my mind, I found my peace, and I am once again a thankful, happy, and reassured working mommy.

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