Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Some Days Are Harder Than Others.

Some days it's a little easier to deal with our loss and some days it's not. This morning as I passed the cemetery I said, "Good morning Ju Ju Bean." and my heart just broke. A lump gathered in my throat and the tears started stinging my eyes.  When I got to work the invoice from the cemetery to buy the plot next to Jude for Mike and myself laid on my desk. It's odd writing out so many checks to people all in regards to death. Jude's headstone has been designed and they are now working on the design for the granite bench that will go between his space and ours. Life goes on but for those who just lost someone the invoices and conversations last months and the loss lasts a lifetime. 

Our house has had multiple showings this week so I have no doubt it will sell within the next two weeks. My guess is we will close and move some time in June or July but we will see. I will miss our home but it is hard being there with all the reminders. I guess it's on to a new adventure. 

I am still not up to taking care of anyone else's feelings because my loss feels so great but again as the days pass the emotions get a little easier to handle. I still get irritated when people are having a good time but I never voice it. I know in my heart I want them to enjoy life and Jude would want that too. 

I am not sure what the future holds. I am not even sure where we are going when we sell the house but I know God has a plan. We will wind up exactly where we are suppose to be! Jude's book process has started and I hope to announce release dates within the next month or so. I have no doubt he will touch so many lives. 

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