Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Jude's Amazing Room

I won't sugar coat this situation because it's been rough. When everyone is gone at night the silence has become deafening. It is very difficult for me to eat and even harder to sleep but we are making it. I finally got about six good hours of sleep overnight. I am used to having our nurses here and I miss them dearly. I normally walk out in a sleepy haze in the middle of the night asking Candice how Jude is. I miss Charlotte and Allen's smiles in the morning and most of all I miss Jude's smile. The house seems empty without the rise and fall of the loud oxygen machine or the beeping of his feeding pump.

The visitation last night was amazing. We were so touched by all the people that turned out to see Jude prior to his service. There were people attending that I haven't seen in 35 years that followed Jude's journey who just wanted to reach out. I was overwhelmed and grateful. The outpouring of response to my blog, our Facebook, Emily's Smile Boxes, and more shows just how far reaching Jude's message was. My grandmother said last night that Jude was put on this Earth to make us all better and I believe that's true. I have felt a bit torn as a mother because I am not sure how to quit parenting and taking care of my son. I also felt like I would have some instant gratification in a form of a sign that Jude was okay. That didn't happen. Saturday and Sunday I searched everything smells, clouds, words of peace, but nothing filled my heart. Then last night as I bent down to kiss Jude one last time I saw him smile. I thought I was hallucinating from lack of sleep so I looked again and there he was........smiling at me. I just stepped back and exhaled. I had one good last cry and then realized Jude is no longer in pain. I had to admit that he was really struggling and really in pain which is evidenced in his pictures. He is now FREE and I have to celebrate that. He deserves to be celebrated and today that's what I plan to do. Today his service is about his amazing life not mourning his death. We plan to do just that. Jude is free of pain, Praise the Lord Jude is free.

I was going to save this picture until after the service but I believe it needs to be shared for all our readers all over the world. To all those that cannot make it today. Jude was in our living room most of the time and couldn't truly enjoy an amazing little boys room. So therefore we wanted to make sure he had one amazing room to sleep in. Thank you Trey Ganem for your fabulous artistry.











12 comments:

greenegret said...

I am so very sorry for your and your family's loss. I don't know you or Jude, but I followed a post you made on another blog some time ago and have just sort of checked in on your blog whenever it popped up on a blogroll. I hope you continue writing, if it helps. That is a magnificent choice of a casket for your lovely boy - I think it was a good way to honor his spirit and strength. My sympathy and all my best to you all.

Katie said...

Absolutely amazing. Very touching words.
Jude is truly free.

Retha Linscomb-Nelson said...

Continued prayers, love you guys!

Natalie said...

It was such a beautiful service and room for him to sleep. It was an honor to know him. He and your story constantly inspired me and my husband to count our blessings and hug our child harder and parent a little better. Y'all really were pillars of great strength, poise, grace and unconditional love for that precious little boy. You all did a wonderful job.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful big boy room for Jude. You can parent him by keeping up with the work you have done in the past to help others like supporting Emily's Smile boxes and anything else that makes sense for you. Of course for now, you need to take some time for you and your family to have some of the rest and peace Jude now has. And if you can please continue to update because there are so many out here who want to know how you are doing and will continue to think of you and Jude.

Tabatha said...

A beautiful room for Jude. Prayers for all of your hearts. Jude was one special little boy.

Deborah said...

I've followed your blog for a long time, and I am so sad for your family. I am glad that Jude is now free and no longer in pain. I think you are such a wonderful loving family, and I think Jude is such an amazing boy. The way he could smile and be happy just to be around the people that loved him, even though he was in so much pain is something we should all aspire to be like. And the Superman room is beautiful. He has certainly earned that superhero cape. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Unknown said...

What an amazing family with continued faith. Thank you for sharing your story, may peace be with you all. Jude is free!

Amy Lynch said...

You are amazing. So strong and positive about everything! So glad you got your sign and love his Superman room!!

Carmella said...

I just stumbled upon your story, and my heart truly breaks for you. I am so sorry that you have to go through this, and I hope that you can find some kind of peace knowing that you will see him again. My prayers are with you and your family that you will get through this incredibly challenging time. ❤️ No mother should have to lose a child.

Unknown said...

I am so sorry for your loss hun. You are truly an inspiration to people everywhere you are a strong loving wife and mother. I have been following your story for some time and it seems as though I know you. Jude will be missed but I am glad he is pain free and know he is running and laughing now. Great job on his room it is a lovely tribute to your son. I hope you will continue to blog so we will know you are okay.💕

Stephanie Gill said...

I am so sorry for your loss hun. You are truly an inspiration to people everywhere you are a strong loving wife and mother. I have been following your story for some time and it seems as though I know you. Jude will be missed but I am glad he is pain free and know he is running and laughing now. Great job on his room it is a lovely tribute to your son. I hope you will continue to blog so we will know you are okay.💕