Friday

Yesterday I went for my first grief counseling session. I had seen the counselor before when Jude came home on hospice so she was familiar with us. We both just sat and cried together and I told her about how I was feeling. She said everything including the nightmares are completely normal. Yes after the loss of a child you can experience nightmares so just know it's a normal response. After the counseling session I went back to work but I was caught up and kept thinking of Jude. So I left a bit early and met with the lady regarding Jude's memorial. We discussed the design for the headstone and for the bench our friends collected money for. Today I began issuing out payments to people in regards to Jude's funeral. It's surreal that you have to handle things like bills and costs. My cousin said if someone should lose a child it should be an automatic pay off on your mortgage and a year off work. Funny statement but it just doesn't work that way. 

I am here at work today and doing alright. Questions seem insignificant to me at times but it's my job so I do it with a smile. I am also watching the bad weather approach our area and of course carry worry about Emily driving in it. My updates seem a little emptier now without Jude here but I know he is watching over us. 

Hope everyone has a good weekend.