Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A pretty girl, a really bad habit, and talking to Jude.

Last night while I held Jude on the couch we "talked" to each other. I would say "I love you Jude!" and he would move his mouth like he was talking in a sentence. Sometimes sounds would come out and sometimes they wouldn't. However he would mimic me and it's the first time I have ever heard him really trying to speak back to me. Again, I would say "I love you Jude" and he would reply "aaa o aaa" or some other form of reply. It was very cute!

So as I sit here on lunch at work and stuff my mouth with Sushi I am going to share something personal and honest. I have always loved the taste of wine and I have always been fascinated with the process it takes to make it. It's one of my few real joys. However, after Jude's situation I have found myself drinking more at night so I can go to sleep. Let me point out before I say any of this that I don't ever pass out, or forget what I have done or said, I don't crave it or think about it during the day, etc etc. Although, I woke up this morning and my side was hurting and I was very tired. I started retracing my steps and realized last night I had several glasses prior to going to bed.  In the course of my life I have cut unhealthy items out of my diet to improve my lifestyle. I have cut sugar out of my tea, I drink non-caffeinated soda, I eat wheat bread vs white, brown rice vs white, No greasy french fries, etc. So it's time to do that again. I am eliminating alcohol from my diet. It killed my mom and it won't get me! So why am I admitting this? I promised to be honest on my blog from the start and my bet is that many people in my situation have coping mechanisms that have become unhealthy. That is exactly what this is....a coping mechanism. I have a terrible time going to sleep and with Jude.........well he is still like a it made for long nights. So drinking a few glasses helped me sleep that coveted 10-2 time period. Also, I just liked it. However, I also like sugar, fatty fries + hamburgers, and DR Pepper. All items that I fought and no longer require. So I am taking a vow to get healthier. I am also going to reward myself because I feel that is important. In 8 months it will be my five year wedding anniversary and I plan on Mike and I taking a trip together. I will be healthier, back in shape, and with no need for a glass of wine to soothe my stress. So friends and family...scratch it off my Christmas list. Man I will miss my grapey sweet luscious friend, but it's time to bid it farewell.

Tomorrow night Emily's play premiers. She has literally been working on this play for MONTHS! It's their one act UIL competition and she is the lead. I am proud at her dedication and keeping her grades up during rehearsals. This week and next they have dress rehearsals until 8pm every night. She then has to come home and finish her homework, take a bath, and chores. Somehow she still fits in reading to Jude........she is my sweet girl.

1 comment:

jocalyn said...

ahh....good luck with that :)

i did give it up last month (because i had to take Kamden to karate every night at seven) and replaced it with double the dose of melatonin kendall takes...and camomile tea.

but i've missed my friend... and we have been reunited once again!

i'm sure you can do anything you put your mind to.