Friday, June 3, 2016

You Don't Get Over It

Picture this. It's been multiple years since your child passed and you reference their birthday to a friend and what a sad day it is. Your friend proceeds to tell you it's been years and it's time to get over it and move on. This happened to someone I know yesterday. Our wound is fresh with Jude's loss being so recent but let me make it perfectly clear that a parent never gets over losing a child. Grief simply takes on a new form and you learn to live life again to the best of your ability. I don't believe that time heals all wounds but I do believe time makes those wounds more bearable. So if your ever put in the position of wondering why a mother or father is still grieving the loss of their child you might consider keeping that information to yourself. It hurts the parent when you tell them it's time to get over it. There is no getting over it....ever!
Parents also want to remember their children. They want to tell you about them and remember that their life was once amazing and whole. For a parent to trust you enough to share that information with you should be a great compliment.

If you are's still raining. When I said it's rained pretty much every day since Jude died I wasn't lying and the clouds are still weeping. Mike and I have seemed to reverse roles a bit. I believe when Jude died I was in complete and total shock. As a mother I knew my son was very sick but the final decline was so quick that I felt I couldn't catch my breath. There were moments after he died that Mike would just catch me staring at nothing quiet and alone. Mike has now taken on more of the rain cloud and Jude's absence weighs heavily on him. Emily is actually holding up pretty well but she does breakdown every now and then. Here is an amazing speech she gave at the honor Connor run. It was her first public speech since Jude passed. I think she did very well considering.

Jude's nurses have also reported they are doing better and most have secured new jobs. So I am happy that they are finding new work and are making the transition to help others. I know there will never be another Jude and I am grateful for all they did to help him. 

Tomorrow Emily and I leave bright and early to watch Miss USA in Vegas. Some prayers for safe flights would be appreciated. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. 

1 comment:

Mimsie said...

That was really cold . . . I can't believe a "friend" would say that to another friend.