Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Just Angry!

Mike is pretty sick but he is doing well. I believe he has realized that Emily and I really need him here so he is doing his best to get through this. Watching a grown man go through such terrible grief is heart wrenching. He literally has a broken heart. 

I am very angry today and this is a normal reaction. I am angry we are enduring yet another hardship. I have been on my knees and asked God not to let anything happen to Mike or Emily. I have explained to him that I would not make it through another loss. So there are times that you question your faith when going through a situation like this. We have become that "You have got to be kidding me" family and I don't like being that family. Mike and I were watching, "We Bought A Zoo" last night and Mike said he wanted to go out and buy a zoo with beautiful land. I agreed and we both did have a laugh which was nice but the reality is we just want to run away. Get away from the everyday life of tragedies, work, and bills. It all follows right behind wherever you run though. 

I actually feel sorry for people right now because everyone's words are the WRONG thing to say and on my nerves. It's an absolute no win situation for people. If you say something I get irritated if you don't say something I get irritated so I apologize now.  If you say something about his diet and exercise I really get irritated because that means you don't properly read my updates. This will go away in time and I promise I don't bite I just sigh. 

I am working until 3 today and then I am picking up our dog from surgery (yes not kidding....that damn family again) and heading home. Emily has her senior pictures at 3:30 and I want someone around Mike. So I got to work super early so I could leave by the time I needed to. Luckily both our works are yet again working with our schedules and what's going on in our life. 

I am frustrated but life move on and eventually I trust the clouds will lift and we will all be healthy. I will do my best to push my Eeyore attitude to the side. Working on Emily's 5k event has been a good distraction so I am continuing to do that with her. I cannot believe it's already so close. 

1 comment:

Purple Quilter Queen said...

Sorry you are going through this. Thinking of you and your family!