So Jude woke up at 3:39am this morning with a seizure. I was hoping we would make it another 12 hours today, but that wasn't in the cards for us. It was a short lived seizure so Jude did fall back to sleep rather quickly. It's unfortunate but he woke up again with another one later in the morning, and it was a DOOZIE! Mike made reference to how the slight jerks Jude has are so more readily accepted to us than they used to be. In other words we hope for the small jerks rather than the large jack knifing screaming seizures. The seizures are terrible and yes sometimes we feel like we get taken so many steps back. Yet even through the seizure today we just accept Jude how he is. This morning after he ate Mike laid Jude down beside me in bed, and I began talking to him in "mommy voice". He just stared at me, and looked all excited. Mike said "Look at the way he is looking at you!". Jude has really displayed some behavior this weekend that shows he has a little personality inside of him. I am very thankful for these small moments!
So I was reading an article today in People magazine regarding a child with Spina Bifida. I hate seeing any child have any sort of sickness or affliction. Luckily the little girl is doing very well. Although while reading the article I read that the statistics for having a child with spina bifida is 1 out of every 10,000 births. The chance of having a baby with a stroke affliction is 1 out of every 4,000!!! This kinda of baffled me for a second because as a mother going through pregnancy I always heard speeches from doctors regarding taking your folic acid to help avoid neural tube defects. Yet I never heard ONE word on what to take to avoid an in utero stroke. Why? I think it's because they just really don't always know what causes them. Also, that when they do happen there really isn't anything that can be done to remedy the situation. What is a stroke? A stroke occurs when the blood supply to any part of the brain is interrupted, resulting in tissue death and loss of brain function. If blood flow is interrupted for longer than a few seconds, brain cells can die, causing permanent damage. They do know that infections, heart issues, maternal drug use, placental issues, and blood disorders can cause them. Which I have said before makes me wonder if there wasn't a blood issue in him because of the platelet issue I was suddenly afflicted with. I really don't think that ITP was the culprit. I know it doesn't help much to speculate now, but maybe it will help someone else in the future. I get all this information from information I have read so hopefully it's all correct. I have tried to educate myself more on strokes. I am becoming even more convinced though that doctors cannot predict how the damage from the stroke will affect YOUR CHILD. They are all individuals, and the only thing doctors can go by is "statistics". So I guess as I travel down this road I need to work on making Jude himself, and not a statistic. Since we have tracked Jude's journey since very early in utero I think he could make a great statistic, but I am hoping he will show them what HOPE really means!
Jude is sleeping away right now, and I need to get my tail up and get ready. I am in the mood to bake so I am off to make some banana nut bread. My aunt will be taking care of Jude next week so I will leave some tasty treats around. I get the day off tomorrow, and I am very excited about that.