Tuesday, August 28, 2018

The MRI machine tried to eat me!

The MRI machine tried to EAT me, well not really but it felt like it. I am so claustrophobic that when I saw the tube they were going to put me in I began crying. You think this would be an indication for the tech to take her time and explain things in the best manner possible. However once I laid down on the bed she came from behind and slapped the cage over my face locking it into place, that was it. Nope, let me out! So, we had to find an open MRI and are in the process of switching the orders over to the new facility. 

How am I feeling? I get this question a lot. My response has begun to mimic my responses with my grief regarding Jude. I am okay today, I could be better, or don't ask. So why be so forthcoming about this situation and so public with it? A few reasons, it's going to become public anyway so why not update everyone at once versus setting myself on repeat. Why not continue my journey of being upfront and brutally honest regarding life in general and let others know it's okay to be irritated, lost, or frustrated. At this point, I have about half my energy back which is a good thing. My primary complaint now is a constant headache, ringing in my ears, and the pain in my right eye. I have found myself looking at the world a bit different as well. For instance, the little antibacterial wipes provided at the grocery store most definitely scrub my cart now! I always used them before but now I don't leave any spot unclean that I may touch. 

Yesterday on my way home I found a type of peace with this entire situation. Something just came over me and I realized that eventually, this will get better and if for some reason it doesn't I would be with Jude and maybe he needs me. I doubt it would become THAT dramatic but it did make me realize that every single person reading this blog..........will die and that includes the person writing this blog. So I plan on living my life the best I can and enjoy as much of it as I can. I also realized I am learning this illness and what it takes to get through. If I start getting tired I have to rest, if I don't get enough sleep at night I have to go in late to work, and if I get run down near the end of the day I have to go. It's the only way I am going to tackle this. 

Luckily even with my illness and intermittent absence, my work is still busy. Mike and I made the decision that we are still going on vacation. I will only be five hours from home and I will follow the same protocol there as I am here. There is a very beautiful chapel where we are going that I will visit for Jude's birthday. 

Emily is doing very well at college and is officially all settled in her apartment. She has started school and I cannot believe she will be applying for the nursing program soon. Keep her in your prayers because she really wants into the Alabama program. 

Don't forget the Emily's Smile Boxes Casino fundraiser, please. Tickets are selling fast and we cannot wait to see everyone! We are also looking for someone to sponsor the wine wagon that will be up for raffle and we will announce your company sponsorship all night. Here is the link. https://emilyssmileboxes.com/casino-night

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