I haven't blogged in awhile because I have been so busy at home and at work. Jude had a very rough evening and a horrible night. He was very toned out so his entire body was stiff and he was crying out in pain. I was becoming increasingly frustrated as the night went on and I kept reminding myself that Jude is the one in pain. I tried holding him, medications, and putting him to bed. Nothing really seemed to work. Then he was up and down all night long crying, moaning, or coughing. I stood by his bed for lengthy periods suctioning his congestion from his throat. I also ended up having to put him on oxygen last night while he fell asleep because his O2 stats were just to low. I am really hoping that he is not getting sick. However he did wake up smiling today so I am hoping that's a good sign.
I have said it before but I will say it again that the lack of sleep is really getting to me. Maybe I do need to finally look into a night nurse. I just hate to give that personal family time up. However, I am so tired of being tired. I am sure other special needs parents can relate. You feel you never have time with your partner and your body is always run down. I am out of shape and have zero time to do anything about that. Anyway, at least I have a good job and a nice home. I remind myself to see the silver linings and be thankful for my blessings.
Emily competed again this past weekend at Miss Texas Teen USA. On Sunday prior to announcing the top 15 we all took our seats in the ballroom and I felt myself becoming nervous. I also got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I saw Emily's little anxious face on the stage and as each girl was called I could see her disappointment shine through. She didn't make the top 15 again and I thought she would be done with the pageant, but she wasn't. She sent me a text from backstage and all it said was "I have two more tries". Surprised I replied "you mean you want to try again???". She replied "of course". She told me a lesson in reaching your goals and having determination. I think she is such a beauty and such a sweet girl. Someday that connection will be made with the judges and they will see what I do :). Texas has to most contestants of any state so I reminded her that it's heavy competition.
Regardless of her placement it was an amazing weekend filled with lots of friends and family. Jude did very well at the hotel and on the long drive and we praised him for his cooperation. Emily's cousin competed with her this year and they had so much fun together. They were even roommates for the weekend so they had a great time. We are very grateful that we have the ability to allow Emily to participate in something she loves so much.