Saturday, November 9, 2013

The bathroom debacle.

This isn't something I want to blog about, but I promised I would show all sides of Jude's issues good or bad. We are still struggling with Jude's bathroom. However, now we are at the point something HAS to be done. Jude is getting to big for me to safely lift him without hurting him or my already very messed up back (very very bad car wreck in 01). Charlotte is now giving Jude baths in his bed. Allen and Mike are still good, but even Mike made mention that lifting Jude is becoming challenging and he worries about the future. Jude is a VERY big boy. The good news is that we have a crank lift that is on wheels that can maneuver Jude around the house. However, it makes me very nervous and it doesn't seem that safe to me. I have nightmares about him slipping out of the harness and crashing to the floor. These are probably unfounded but I have nightmares anyway.

The problem we are facing is the way our bathroom is set up. We have a bath tub right next to our shower and the narrow space gives us little room to make major changes without a lot of money. I keep getting estimates hoping they will change, but every time they come out well over $18,000 and the insurance will only cover $7500. So my mind has been swimming for about a year with possibilities.

1. Take out the tub and make one large shower - Less expensive but we lose resale value. I also lose my love of taking a one true relaxant, but Jude is worth it. This will probably be the route we go, but even this way is a lot out of pocket.
2. We lose our closet and build one in our bedroom.......this was a 100% possibility until the estimate came out higher than changing out the tub and bath tub due to a drain re route.
3. We sell our current house and build a house with a handicap accessible bathroom. This was a GREAT option considering the equity in our current house until we learned the medical collections have 100% RUINED our credit.....sigh. It's our OWN fault. We didn't have enough savings built up in case of a tragedy. Kids please take note and save early. Save for retirement too!
4. We could convert Emily's bathroom (an easy conversion), but we would need a lift on the stairs. I am afraid the cost of the lift wouldn't leave anything for the bathroom but it is a route I plan to price.

We also need to get this ratty carpet out of my house so Jude's allergies will be better. This IS something I can accomplish but I cannot do both conversions. In the long run I am VERY lucky. We got into our house prior to Jude's diagnosis so we are in a nice home. We have a good house payment and we have multiple options. We aren't in an apartment which would make matters even worse. However, just bear with me that I am so frustrated! People suggest the roll in tubs they see not realizing Jude needs a 5 foot shower that will accommodate a roll in chair and a nurse/parent. The roll up option bath chairs with an extender over the tub might be a solution, but I haven't truly investigated them.

I am at a loss! I am normally SO great with solutions. I am good with decisions, direction, and I have a lot of determination. I need a loan that I could easily pay each month but have no way of obtaining one. It's just frustrating knowing which direction to turn. Next week I plan on getting a final price on converting our shower/bath area into one large shower that is accessible to Jude.

Despite my frustration Jude is healthy. He is very toned out tonight and wants to be held, but he is well and at home. I will take that over any frustration any day!!! I am sure a lot of special needs moms know the perfect solution but this is the first time I have dealt with this and I have one STUBBORN bathroom. So forgive me for a bit while I debate on the best route of us, Jude, the nurses, and resale. Again, we are VERY lucky I am just....blogging my mind out loud.


Rita said...

I may be out to lunch on this idea but I'll run it by you. It is by far not the best idea ever but it could be the least expensive. Near Jude's bed is probably some equipment etc. Is there a way to set up toilet facilities there with a wrap around curtain like in a hospital? When you move things could be fixed for resale. We did something similar for my mother after her massive stroke. She had little or no improvement for 12 years and this worked for us.

dannette said...

We just got our bathroom renovated about 9 months ago to the tune of 15000. We had to gut the main bathroom and bump a wall 12 inches, lose the tub and gain a shower. Do you have a casemanager through any waiver programs? Our casemanager through the HCBS/MRDD was able to help us find funding to make it doable. We paid a third and found funding for the rest. It still is hard as our girl weighs 60 lbs and I am the primary lifter due to being the one home. I do feel fortunate that I have grown stronger as she has grown bigger - our kiddo is 7.