Saturday, July 23, 2011

Head wound

Mike is handling his injury very well. So far he has minimal pain, but he still gets very tired. We don't leave him alone with Jude yet, but I think he will be okay soon. His face is very swollen today and his eyes are turning black. We know they could see skull when he came in, but we are so lucky it wasn't worse. I had a friend call that used to be a paramedic he said "Dang Jenn I thought you were just being a girl and this was going to be some tiny little cut. I have care flighted people for less than that". No I wasn't being a

Jude is doing well, but being a bit of a stinker. He has not slept well the past two's almost like he knows we have a lot going on. So I have been up with him. Going to work after a crazy day like we had and then being up all night wasn't pleasant, but that's okay. At least I have a good job to go to. So I slept in until 9:30 today and it was great.

I will be out of touch the next week as I prepare for next weekend. Have a nice weekend!

Friday, July 22, 2011

**CAUTION** graphic pictures

****GRAPHIC PICTURES do not look if you don't want to. You have been warned!***

I won't post this until the morning, but I wanted to tell everyone what happened today. About 1:30pm I received a phone call from Mike at work. It had been a horrible day at work so Jen was unable to connect Mike through to me. She looked up from her office and said "Mike just called and said it's an emergency". I was surprised because he never does that. I immediatley called him back. He said "I have been in a forklift accident and it's pretty bad. I am being taken to Baylor in Grapevine." My heart sank and I ran back to tell my boss I needed to go. He was very supportive and told me to drop everything and go to the hospital asap.

Once I got to the hospital I had to wait for Mike's ambulance to arrive. He kept texting me to tell me where they were at. I felt confident that he was alright if he was able to keep me informed. Once he arrived he kept texting for me to come back to be with him. I knew he was in a big panic. Once I got back to his room Mike was literally covered in blood from head to toe. He had a large bandage wrapped around his head and blood running down his face. I wasn't sure what to say, but I walked over and patted him. He said the smell of the blood was making him sick so I began cleaning him off the best I could. The doctor's worked to hook up IV lines and were monitoring his blood pressue. Mike said he was driving a forklift because he was short on drivers and his "guys" were behind. While driving the large machine a radio fell off and it distracted Mike. He clipped the bottom of a pole which caused a fire extingusher to fall and it exploded. In a cloud of smoke Mike was thrown forward into the roll bar in the safety cage on the forklift splitting his head open and cutting it very deep. I said "Babe that's not so safety" and he just smiled.

They completed a CT scan which thankfully showed that the injury did not cause any bruising or bleeding on the brain. So after awhile they called someone in that works in plastic surgery and she sutured Mike's head up, but before she did he wanted me to take a picture. Be prepared because it's nasty......but you can see why we are so thankful he is okay.

Our initial reaction was "why does this always happen to us?". I quickly decided we are actually very lucky. I cannot imagine having Mike invalid as well as Jude. I cannot imagine losing Mike...he is my soul mate. I felt so lucky when he hugged me tonight when we got home. I love my husband very much!

I forgot to mention that earlier in the day at work another lead manager drove his forklift through a wall and it was a foot away from where Mike was sitting. Something was determined to get him! Now we sit and wait and hope the Dallas Cowboys keep Mike on in his current position. Mike loves his job very much.  

Monday, July 18, 2011

A weepy Em, a puking Jude, and a really big bear

Well what a weekend. It started out pleasant, but ended up awful. Friday night Mike and I had a nice quiet dinner together before Emily came back from camp. Saturday morning I had to get up super early to retrieve Emily from the closing ceremonies and load up her luggage. She LOVED Camp Kiowa and is already begging to go back next year. She spent a total of 7 days living in a college dorm and enjoyed all the activities the camp had. She even took a cooking class everyday and came home telling me that she won the master chef cook off challenge. I thought that was cute since she and I watch master chef every Tuesday night. She talked a mile a minute on the car ride home so I was very well informed of all their activities.

After I picked her up we ran by the lake to see my cousin, family, and Fleck. We had a great time, but when I got in my car my temperature read this again.

This could be the reason Emily started feeling very sick while sitting in the water. I decided I am moving to Maui, bleh with the heat. The older I get the worse the heat is.

Sunday we did lots of errands. Emily went with me to pick up some prizes for some contestants in my pageant. The pageant count down is on and will be held at the end of this month. I have to say the highlight of my weekend was seeing Em try to get TWO 53 inch teddy bears into my car. I had my hands full so watching her try to carry them to the car and then get them in there was heeeeeeeelarious. She also had to make sure that said bears were buckled in.

I said Emily "Peek A Bear". She replied "Mom your a dork". That's it I am officially old...just in case you were wondering. My pre-teen had labeled me a dork.

So Sunday evening our blissful weekend turned to crap! Right after the nurse left and right after Jude's feed ended Jude started retching. He then started throwing up and crying for over an hour. Jude would get phloem in the back of his throat then gag and throw up. Then he would cry hysterically which would repeat the process. This went on for so long that Jude was throwing up blood and his throat was swelling shut. Mike would yell at me to relieve stress, I would freak out, and Em would grow silent. It was awful! This all after Emily fixed her first entire meal for herself. SO her meal was cold, she was sad, Jude was screaming, I was crying, and Mike was yelling. It was a lovely night. Emily finally just went upstairs and locked herself in her room. Once Jude calmed down we gave him a breathing treatment to open up his airways and then we left him in his room for a bit so we could calm down.

Emily finally emerged from her room and after a huge debate about unpacking her bags we had a long talk. Emily for the first time said "Life isn't fair". She has never said anything about Jude's condition or how it affects her life, but she did last night. She really let things go which was healthy. She said "People just don't get it do they mom?". I replied "Not unless they are in the same situation hun". She replied "Well that stinks". I then explained how life isn't fair and she was right. I held my tongue for a minute and thought of a good response and said "Emily this isn't a normal life.......this isn't the life you will leave when you start your own family... you understand that right?". She said she understood, but then pointed out that Jude will always be a part of her life and leave a mark on her even if he isn't with us anymore. Man she is a profound kid. How did I have such a smart kid? Anyway, we talked some more and Emily expressed how she really wants to go to Disney world next year and compete in a face pageant out there. I told her I am working on it. She then said "see that would be hard too wouldn't it". "Yes Emily...traveling is very difficult, but we have a lot to be thankful for".  I explained that the financial aspect of it can be handled, but it would be difficult to bring Jude without a nurse, and equally as difficult to leave him behind. She then went on to explain just how stressed out she gets when Jude has an episode where we consider calling 911 and how the yelling affects her. I told her that maybe someday we will have a night nurse. I then pointed out that it's not because we don't want to care for Jude, but because we want to make sure he is cared for properly in an emergency situation. She expressed that would make her feel better.

So who knows what the right answer is, but I am glad Emily vented. She probably needed to do that for a really long time.  Emily gets a do-over on her meal tonight. She is making chicken sautee.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Jude updates

Jude has been doing better since we cut his sedative back a bit at night. He seems to be awake again and is lifting his head more.  He is also very smiley these days. When I get home at night Jude has a tendency to get very vocal until I pick him up. As I sat there last night holding him I admired how long he is. If Jude could stand upright he would be to my hip......and he is only approaching 3! I think he takes after my grandfather who played football and was 6'4. I also noticed Jude has such a sweet demeanor about him and it takes a lot to make him angry. I like to think he got that from me.

The other night my cousin came by and brought the foster children she is keeping. She had three little boys with her and they were so cute. I watched them run and play. I listened to their giggles and their questions. Then when they left I went in to check on Jude who was sleeping quietly. I am used to Jude's quiet ways. I know longer wish for him to run around like I used to. Not that I wouldn't want that....I just accept who Jude is and I love him the way he is. I guess that's a reason I don't blog as much anymore. I went through my stages of grief and I hit acceptance. I explained to Mike that I selfishly grieve now for our loss. Mike and I cannot do the things we dreamt of without a lot of planning. I want to take the kids to Orlando next year, but I don't see that happening with Jude's condition. It's to hot for him and I don't think it's possible to take a nurse. So is it selfish to admit I want to vacation and do the things Mike and I talked about when we got married. Probably so, but I am admitting it anyway so parents will know it's normal to feel that way. Does it mean I love Jude any less? NO. It means I love him so much I would do anything for him. I just sit at night and talk to him as he falls asleep just to see him smile. He has the most infectious smile and it makes my heart happy that when he hears mommy's voice he gets a huge grin. He knows me....he really does. He even spots me now and will smile which is such an accomplishment. I am proud of him. I tell him "You are a smart boy Jude", because people do not say that to him enough.

You're a smart boy Jude, I love you.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Emily and the dorm

I found this on my camera after Emily went to camp...she is so cute!

Jude thought it was pretty cute

So Em is at Camp this week and she was so excited. Although I don't think she put two and two together. I explained she was going to be in a college dorm room and we took bedding, but she didn't "get" what a dorm was until she walked in. The college is old and she looked around then she said "what is this". I said "This is a dorm room Emily". She said "I don't like it". I said "well what did you expect the Hilton? This is dorm life honey!". She said "well I expected some type of hotel atmosphere". I cracked up and told her the pageants have spoiled her. She was very comfortable when I left and was already making friends. I know she will have a great time this week. Luckily the camp has a website where I can see pictures of her in action.

                                                       She wasn't sure about the dorm

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A little update

I have been extremely busy lately so bear with me. I will be this way until the first of August preparing for my upcoming event.

Jude is doing well but decided to pull his first night of no sleep in a long time last night. I am pretty tired and so busy at work today so those two things don't mesh well together. Other than not sleeping well he seems to be doing pretty, especially since we lowered his Klonnopin dosage. He seems to be more alert again and is trying to "talk" more which consists of vowel sounds. Charlotte brought him a new CD yesterday and she said he sounded like he was trying to mimic the singing. She said he would smile and giggle at the music.

Emily is also doing well too. She is getting ready to go to camp for a week and a mission trip following that so she is a busy girl. We have been pretty financially strapped getting her ready for everything. You would think the summer would be cheaper than the school year...wrong! lol.

We are still discussing the KETO diet. Basically Jude has to be checked into the hospital from Tuesday until Friday. This is pretty impossible right now with our work schedules. I do have some family members that are offering to sit with Jude during the day while we work, but I would feel really guilty leaving him. Basically they have to monitor his ketone levels and his blood sugar levels while introducing the diet. Jude cannot tell us if he is feeling bad so the monitoring would insure his safety. The doctor said he treats this diet like another medication. So she would not immediately start lowering medications which was rather disappointing to me. Mike was rather resistant to the idea at first until he said he had a dream that Jude was doing better due to the diet, he felt it was a sign.

I hope everyone is well!

Friday, July 1, 2011

There is a T-Rex after me!!!

So last night I had a very strange dream and I think I know why. I dreamt that I was raising a T-REX. Yes people, I have lost my mind. Anyway, the T-rex was so cute and cuddly and he really loved our family, but I was scared that he would eat the kids when he got older. I was torn between protecting Jude and Emily, but still giving the dinosaur a good home. I remember Mike encouraging me to keep the T-Rex. At one point he looked at the little fellow and said "You won't grow up and eat us will you?". The T-Rex shook his head no and in a growl said "I lub you". Okay.......everyone is laughing now. Anyway, yesterday I told my friends that I had decided not to attend my twenty year high school reunion. It's far to difficult to get a sitter for Jude at night and I don't want to take him up there. I was really alright with not attending the function. The people I would want to see from my high school I already talk to.  I think the dream was the struggle I have with wanting to live a normal life, but not being able to.

So Emily has been insisting on getting Jude's medications ready at night. Last night she even insisted on giving Jude his breathing treatment.

She has been very attentive to Jude lately and a big help to me. I think she realized I was getting a bit overwhelmed with work, the house, and Jude's medications. Now if I can just get her to clean her room without being told :). Jude was very happy last night and giggled himself to sleep. This is great because he had a run in with his fingers again earlier in the day. When Jude is teething he has a tendency to put his fingers in his mouth and chomp down. This time he drew blood and his feelings were very hurt. We try to keep gloves or socks on his hands to prevent this from happening. He happened to get them in his little chompers the one time he didn't have a sock on his hand.

So on July 30th I am holding a banquet at The Regal Princess Pageant I am running. All the proceeds from the banquet will benefit Kids Swing which is a golf tournament that raises money for Scottish Rite. We will be awarded an Emily's Smile Box scholarship that night to the one little girl that has completed the best community service work. If you would like to attend email me and I can get you ticket price information. It will be a nice meal for a wonderful cause! We will also have a dance following the banquet.