Monday Monday Monday

Good morning. Well we had a relaxful weekend. I have learned that the later I get in this pregnancy that if I don't take Saturday off to myself then I can barely get to work on Monday. Anyway, it was a nice weekend with Mike. We had a date weekend consisting of just laying around the house. We did go out to eat one night though and that was nice. I believe the economy has struck everyone so we all limit times out. Anyway, it was a good weekend with Jude until last night. I started having contractions about 5:30 and they lasted until about 11. I didn't want to panic so I just watched them. They were about every 10 mins and were pretty uncomfortable. I knew they were not braxton hicks because I have done this before, and know the difference. In addition my back was hurting and Jude would go a bit crazy after the contraction. I drank a lot of water and laid down and they finally subsided some. So I am chalking it up to my body getting ready for baby. I will have it all checked out though. I had a dr appt at 2 today anyway. Of course we we are super busy at work. I hope everyone has a great week. I am trying to post the actual video of Jude's sonogram, but my computer is not wanting to cooperate. I am sure it has something to do with user error :).

Doctor visits

Well it was a whirl wind of a morning filled with doctors appointments and the glucose test. Mike, Em and I were all starving by the time we were done. We did get some good shots of Jude though. First, we arrived at Dr Moser's office where I had to drink the lovely orange drink they give you for the glucose test...yummy. Mike informed me he needs those drinks for his "after work out drink".........have at it buddy...yuck! Anyway, Emily was in charge of watching the timer so I could go get my blood drawn after 1 hour. We then waited for awhile and went in for the 4d sonogram. It seems Dr Moser was getting certified on something on the sonogram machine, and there was a specialist there. He didn't know about our case so Dr Moser filled him in, and he then acknowledged that he trained under Dr Twickler (the mri dr). So it was rather nice that we had a specialist in there doing the sonogram with our OB. He looked at the heart for a long time, and even measured the amount of blood flowing in and out. This was rather fascinating because they showed me the aortic flow, etc. After hearing about the issues with the brain the specialist looked at me and said, "really? well it looks normal to me". Secret smiles flooded through me!!! Then I got my blood drawn (a lovely 4 viles of it) and off to perinatal specialists we go. We actually saw Dr Payne today (former nickname dr doom) whom we have not seen since he sent us for the MRI. He scanned Jude and measured all the ventricles. He stated he could not see the one on the right side, and the one of the left is measuring between 8-9. AMAZING. He informed us that he could not accuratley tell us if the brain patterns have filled in correctly, but this was still "remarkable" looking. He also said that he thinks this is very encouraging, and even shook Mike's hand. He then patted my leg and gave me a huge smile. He then told us he rarely sees the ventricles reverse themselves because they either stay the same or increase.. especially in our situation. I told him I had read they decrease in the 3rd trimester. He followed that with looking at me like I read to much and stating "not in this case". He then encouraged me to get another MRI, but I explained I really didn't want one. He told me if anything it will help with scientific growth research because this is a "remarkable" case. He liked the word remarkable today. He then explained he cannot assure us we wouldn't get in there and get negative news, but seeing how the ventricles went down, the head has grown, etc he is encouraged. Since there is only 1 other case that was as severe as ours (that he knows of) he thinks it would be good data for future counseling. He reminded me I wasn't able to obtain any data because the MRI was so early and there was that 1 other negative case. I am all for helping future cases especially since we didn't have anyone that could properly counsel us. Then again I don't want to go and get a negative results again, and worry throughout Jude's childhood when he may be normal. I may go and have them do the MRI if they want it for their scientific data to help others I am just not sure I want an other results. So that is what I am debating right now. So things are looking much better, but we are still asking for prayers that his head keeps increasing in growth size, and the ventricles keep decreasing. Basically if the head is increasing and the ventricles decreasing brain tissue has to be forming in it's place. Now whether it is the right "pattern" of tissue we don't know but I feel it is. Oh and Jude is 2lbs and 14 oz so almost 3 pounds!!! As I was leaving I wondered how many of the mothers waiting in the lobby were stressing about their visit. How many of them had lost faith, were sick to their stomachs, or felt the world just shouldn't carry on. I thought about them and quietly wished them all good news today.


Here are some pics.

Jude sucking his thumb:


Jude's Feet!


Jude's profile!

Wed

Well I am pretty sure I have been pregnant for two years.......seriously. So Jude did the belly roll last night.....moms will know what I mean. Where your entire stomach rolls and you see arms and legs trying to poke through. It just so happened that Mike looked over at the exact time Jude did this and I heard "OH MY GOSH MAKE HIM STOP!!!" HA!. He was very active last night and I enjoyed watching him wiggle. I did end up having the strangest dream ever though after I feel asleep. I dreamt that Jude was so long his hands popped out of my chest and I could see them. So the doctors kept having to push my lungs and heart back in?!?! STRANGE! So they finally took him early so I would be ok. Anyway, I will updated this blog tomorrow right after the 4d sonogram. I should be back in the office by about 10am. I just went and picked up some lunch and on my way back I passed Emily's daycare. I saw her on the van going to Midevil times for a field trip and I teared up. I worry about her being out with other people, and it just made me sad I wasn't with her. I know I am a worry wart, but I have lost a lot of people in my life. Stupid money controls the world I guess so unless you win the lottery you have to work for a living and not be at home. Anyway, I am both nervous and excited about tomorrow. Em and Mike are both going with me. I will updated soon!

Morning!

Good Morning everyone! So I guess since I am nearing the end of this pregnancy my weeks are once again riddled with doctor appointments. Thursday I have a 4d sonogram (hooray) so everyone hope that Jude flips over so I can finally see his face. He likes to look at my spine or hide his face in his arm. He seems to be rather stubborn so it should be assumed he is his fathers child :). Anyway, after that I have my glucose test (yuck!), an appointment with the level 2 specialist, and then Tuesday another kidney sonogram. I am rather excited about the 4d sonogram though, and I am even taking Emily. Tonight we are going to tour the hospital. I have been through this before, but Mike is rather nervous. He said the more he knows about everything the more relaxed he will feel. He literally breaks out into a sweat when I start talking about delivery......it's kinda cute. So my kidney is not hurting as bad today which is a good thing and I slept pretty soundly last night. In fact I woke up rather refreshed and had energy...........until about 8:50..ha. I then remembered that the third trimester is very exhausting. I have yet to move from my desk again since I walked out to the mailbox. I think I need a nap already. Also, I swear just 1 marshmallow could give heartburn right now! Anyway, I will post the 4d pics when I get them.

Monday

Oh dreaded Mondays.... how they can do a person in I swear. Especially when your office just moved, and you have a plethora of boxes to unpack. I woke up this morning and my back was still killing me. On top of that I was still having those sharp pains and the other issues. I brushed it off as an over active imagination due to all the issues until I got into work. Then I decided to call my doctor. They had me come in and sure enough my blood pressure was pretty high again. She really thinks it is due to the pain though and the pain is coming from the kidney. Also, I wasn't imagining things yesterday regarding my stomach being smaller. Jude had finally turned and is head down, and is in fact facing my spine. So I cannot feel him like I normally do. I also got a lecture that I need to go see the level 2 specialist whether she goes the 4d sono on Thursday or not.........dangit! She did look at Jude's vents and one side is down to a FIVE!!!!!!!!! The other side (his larger side) is at 8.4. His head circumference is 27 weeks and 1 day and the BPD is 26 weeks 2 days. So even though it's a little behind his head is still growing which is what we are going for. I am hoping my baby boy proves them all wrong and is just fine. I really want Mike to be able to hold his son. So good news and bad news I guess. I have to go back to get another kidney sono and I am hurting today. My boss is stressed out too and doesn't seem to understand how bad I am hurting. He also said he is ready for me to have this baby........yeah well me too! lol! He has to grow some more first though. Don't get me wrong my boss has been as understanding as he can, and my office is now officially put together. So I am making progress!

Sunday

Good afternoon all. Well Friday we moved at the office, and Saturday I went by there to finish some stuff up. So I have been pretty busy to say the least. Today I am relaxing because I am not feeling that great. I brushed off not feeling that great last night and just laid on the couch with Mike. I had a horrible time sleeping though. My back was hurting, head was hurting, swelling, kidney, blah blah blah. Only thing that kinda concerned me was the baby wasn't moving as much and my tummy seemed smaller. When I did feel him he is so far down it was like he was about to stick his foot out (I know rather graphic...sorry). I thought just for another opinion I would call my cousin for her midwife opinion. She said the baby probably turned towards my spine which is what I had thought last night. Also that from moving around so much I may have leaked some fluid which is a possibility too. Anyway, taking it easy today because my head is still hurting. I am just going to watch Jude's movement today. Like I said I am not that concerned, but after making it this far through this pregnancy I would rather be a little cautious than have something happen. Plus I feel like poo and am just complaining...grrr. ha! Emily is very bored at the house today following me around. I explained I am not her pet monkey her to entertain her, but it doesn't seem she understands that...:). I don't mind though but it is rather funny. As a child I could entertain myself for hours, but she likes to be where you are. She laid in bed with me forever watching shows and that was nice. I realize it won't be much longer until she is shut up in her room as a teenager. Oh and I got Jude's stroller in the mail!!! I am not sure if I posted that before but I am super excited. It's my whole travel system with the car seat and the stroller. My aunt and her mother in law sent it to me. It's super cute and Mike put it together right away!! Well tomorrow it's back to work. I hope everyone has a good day!!!

Busy Bee

My goodness I am so busy at my office with work and the move. I didn't think I would get to post today. So I went to a pediatrician today to see if I liked him and it turns out I do. He was very upfront about everything. I was very impressed with the fact that he met me at the office at 7:55 before they opened. I didn't have a nurse greet me he actually greeted me. Emily was with me and he was very nice to her as well. He answered all my questions and seemed very professional. He asked me "So have their been any issues with this pregnancy". I said "how long do you have?" He listened to me and then said what we have known from the start of this that we are on a , "wait and see basis". He did state he would sonogram Jude's head once he is born and explained that gives a better perception of the brain than when the baby is in the womb. Anyway, it seems this doctor even designates times each day where he calls mothers back just to answer questions. We talked about breast feeding and he made me laugh because he said lactation consultants irritate him. His exact words were "I believe in the natural was of feeding and they are making a business out of the unnatural way" He then went on to explain how they push you to wake up a baby after 2 hours, etc etc. Anyway, we then discussed the pros and cons of vaccinations, about the circumcision, the feeding issues Em has, etc. So he is hired.
So I have a funny kid story for you. This morning I patted Emily's leg and said , "Pretty Emily!" She patted my hand and said with a smile "Pretty mommy......(pause).......well ok not so much today but your normally pretty and you will be pretty again after Jude is born". SIGGGGGGGGGGH out of the mouths of babes! I explained that Mommy is very tired right now and it takes a lot just to roll myself out of the bed to get to work..ha!!! I am sure my hubby is missing his thin, tan, and pretty wife too. I will get back to that spot though. Jude has been very active again and it's fun to feel him flipping around.

Response from MRI fetal specialist

I had emailed the fetal specialist that gave us the unfortunate news that the baby would probably have serious brain damage with some questions. I heard back from her today.

Here was my email:

"I had a few questions for you, and I was wondering if you can help me out?
Kay told me she saw you the other day, and let you know the baby has made
some progress recently. I am currently about 27 weeks. We have been
continuing to get sonograms about every two weeks on level 3 machines.
Judes ventricles have now decreased to 7.8 on the right side and 9.6 on
the left. The corpus callosum shows in full, the cerebellum is now full
size, and the head is measuring only a week behind. I am wondering with
your experience if you see the vents increase again in the third trimester
once they have already decreased?"

Here was her response:

"Hi, Sorry for the delay.The size of the ventricles decreasing is a very good sign, as are the corpus callosum and cerebellum growth. As far as your question, I am not aware of any studies that can answer that question.
I wish you the best,"

Wed

Ok so per my prior blog I did end up scheduling the 4D sonogram and it will be during the appointment next Thursday with my OB. I explained to them I really don't want to go back to the level 2 specialist. I am sure I will catch some lectures over that, but I have made up my mind. Although, I would go see them again right before I deliver if they find it necessary. This is a wait and see issue now anyway, and we will have to see how Jude is when he is born. Also, I am hoping the little booger is not on his belly again for this 4d like he was last time. So far I don't have any good face shots well except one 2d where he looks like Homer Simpson. Those great 2d shots are so strange looking! Anyway, he is currently moving around as I am writing this. He moved a lot last night too while I was sitting on the couch with Mike. Mike was watching my shirt move up and down from Jude kicking my stomach. I still think Emily moved more than Jude does, but I heard that is rather common with boys. So I am getting very hot at night when I sleep, and the lower the air is in the house the better I sleep. I know it's not comfortable for Mike though to have it cold so when he got up this morning and when upstairs I turned the air down low. I snuggled back into my bed and covered up and fell sound asleep. Suddenly I heard my darling husband yell "OH MY WORD IT'S COLD DOWN HERE!!". I hid under my sheets and just laughed. He then went on and on about how this pregnancy was going to be the death of him......:). Hey I am the one that is hot here! My cousin called me today to chit chat and I was glad to hear her voice. She has had a lot of company in town and I haven't been able to talk to her as much. I told her I have hit that stage where pregnancy just isn't fun anymore. It happens people!!! Yes yes I know "enjoy your pregnancy". Dude, I am hot, tired, my back hurts, I can barely get out of the bath tub, my feet are swelling horribly, I am carrying extra weight, and I am ready for the 10 weeks to pass and to have him. I am thankful he is still in there healthy though, and he needs more time to grow inside. So yesterday I was in my bath reading an article on Angelina Jolie and her twins. Then when I got out and turned on the TV there is Tori Spelling in her show and she was at the doctor having a sonogram. I wondered if there are any celebrities that have medical scares with their babies. You don't ever hear about anything like that happening. Of course, their bodies also don't look like a road map of stretch marks afterwards. Although, if they did have issues I would like to know. I would think it would be a good way to bring awareness and research on subjects like this. Well I am off to work it's another busy day here.

Tuesday again

Hmmm I am a little worried today about the next sonogram. At the same time I am also confident that Jude will pull through this pregnancy a healthy boy. I guess I go back and forth with emotions which I am sure is normal in my state. I think I have made up my mind to call my OB and request the 4d sonogram vs going to the level 2 specialist. At this point there really isn't anything they can do if Jude has issues. So therefore, it would alleviate extra stress on me by having my ob check his head vs the level 2 specialists. They are nice, but the knots I get in my stomach waiting in their lobby for an hour cannot be healthy. I cannot explain how ready I am to have this baby and to know if he will be ok or not. I guess maybe it's taking a bit of a toll on me. I am thrilled with all the wonderful news we have gotten lately. Although, it's just the small worrisome feelings that hide out in the shadows of your brain that you still contend with.

Tuesday

I am in a teleconference with work, and as you can tell I am super interested in it!!! :). Yesterday was a bit difficult but good with the baby. My feet decided to swell up like marshmallows, my kidney was hurting the worst it has to date, and I was super tired. Honestly, I think it's just working all day, and then going home and cleaning, etc. Even though I sit at work ,and don't walk around a lot extended sitting periods can cause your feet to swell. I hate to complain, but I am honest in this blog so I am just repeating yesterday. My blood pressure is good though so I am not worried at all.....just pooped! Anyway, I got home last night and my kidney hurt so bad I wasn't sure what to do, but I pretty much refuse to go to the hospital over it again. So if I ever wind up there you guys will know I am in some serious pain. I downed about 5 glasses of water and it seemed to help it release the kink some. The ureter starts to kink like a water hose and then causes it to spasm therefore water rushing through it helps. I explained to Mike that I have a hard time understanding how women who don't drink as much water as I do handle this issue. Anyone close to me can tell you I drink A LOT of water......and I do mean a lot! So any time a doctor says something is related to "not drinking enough water" I pretty much laugh at them. I was pretty busy at work yesterday too, and that could have something to do with it. Anyway, I had a dream last night that I had Jude early, but I really believe that was just my sub conscience. There was a lady in my support forum that had her baby this past weekend at 25 weeks. I am praying for her.
I cannot believe I am almost 28 weeks though! wow! Don't get me wrong this pregnancy has seemed to last forever!!! I am ready to be 38 weeks vs 28 and have Jude. I am just hoping he is ok. He hasn't been as active the last two days I am sure he is tired from this past weekend. I meet with the pediatrician we are going to use on Thursday morning. I am going to discuss all the issues we have had and let him know what Neurosurgeon we are using, etc. On the 26th I am suppose to have my glucose test which I despise!!! I also have a dr appt with Dr moser and with the level 2 specialists. I am really debating just having the sonogram with DR Moser vs Dr Payne's office. Hmmm I don't know. Maybe I should get advice on what others think??? Well I guess I better pay attention to my teleconference. Although it seems it is basically them reading attachments they sent us through email?!?! Oh and Em is on a field trip again........sigh......I am such a worry wart about her!

Yawwwwn

What a weekend!!! I was asked to judge a pageant/talent competition in Dallas a few days ago. After consideration I accepted the offer because it was well needed extra money, a nice hotel room, and wonderful food. Mike and I needed some time away, and even though I worked hard we got to spend some quality time together. It's nice when you are two tons of fun and your hubby still finds you beautiful!!! :). Yes, yes it was a pageant and regardless of what people think about them they can be enjoyable. I got to judge several things, but I was super excited I got to judge talent!!!!! I love watching people sing, dance, and show off their creative side! I loved it all. The people that own this system went above and beyond for their staff and their contestants too. Anyway, the point of my rambling is the music was very loud during talent/competition and Jude was rocking out in my stomach. At one point Mike was in their with me and felt him moving all around. He was shocked at how strong he is now. On Saturday night there was a big banquet, and the owners were nice enough to invite Emily to join us. It was my ex's weekend with her, but he agreed she would have a blast so he brought her up there for a few hours. She got a nice dinner, dessert, and they had a large pixie stick maker set up....which she loved. Anyway, all the kids got to play "doll bingo" and Emily wasn't getting any words called :(. So Mike rubbed her card and said he gave her good luck and she WON!!! She got a big bear that hooks up to her MP3 player and has a light show in headphones on it's ears. I have a picture of she and the bear, but I have to figure out how to transfer it from the phone to the computer. Anyway, since she was having great luck she then decided she would participate in a raffle where they were giving away several prizes...one being a new puppy (oh my!). Mike said he couldn't take the stress that she might win a dog, and left to go down to have a drink at the bar...ha ha. A few seconds later I get a text that states "I am in the bar having a drink with your ex husband". If I could post a flabbergasted look right now in smiley icons I would. Well turns out they were not giving the puppy away until the next day, but Emily did win a big basket of candy/cookies. So therefore I decided to be rotten and text Mike "Um she won". I think he went into a bit of a panic and began texting back WHAT DID SHE WIN??? To say the least she had a very fun two hours, and so after that Em and I headed to find the boys. Emily asked "where is daddy". I explained he was having a drink with Mike. No flabbergasted icon needed because Emily had the look on her face. Funny how children even understand the ironic view points of some situations. It was a great thing though and I have always wanted my ex to be more involved with us and not feel alienated. Anyway, we get Em to her dad and Mike explains they had a very nice talk about Em's school, puppies, the new house, etc. I am very thankful that took place. So we are home from a weekend in Dallas. I got to cuddle up with my hubby in the room and everything was nice. We also felt our tiny son move all weekend and even found out just how far this blog is reaching. I had numerous people that I didn't know come up to me and say "I have read your blog!" I only hope to post pictures in a few months of a healthy boy so everyone can rejoice together while reading this. Oh and Happy Fathers Day to my husband, my dad, my ex, my cousins great hubby, and all the great dads out there!

Thursday

Well Em is on a field trip...........which always makes me nervous. What can I say I am a worry wart about her and I will be glad when her group is back. She is swimming so that means she will probably go to bed early. Anyway, I talked to the Neurosurgeon today at Cooks Children's. He was the one that was so wonderful to us and really listened to our situation. I waited some time now to call him back and give him the results of the recent scans. I also asked him if the brain vents can go back up in the third trimester. He said that it's possible, but rather than focusing on that what you want to look at is the "trend". He said in this situation it seems the vents are always measuring about the same or going down. He said the fact the head is growing in size, the brain vents are shrinking, and every other major component is there he would classify it as "good news". He said no one can be sure, but that if he were scanning every week that is the news he would relay. He said he was very happy to hear this information. So again we are just praying for continued head growth. If the head stops growing that means the cortex just didn't grown. Then again if the head keeps growing how it is Jude has a great chance at a normal life.

Ps. My darn ear started ringing again.........bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
lol.

DR Visit

Sorry it took me so long to post I have been very busy at work. Plus when I went to see the doctor she got pulled out on an emergency c-section and so I had to wait forever to see her today. Poor girl was in labor and her blood pressure dropped dramatically. She said she got the baby out within 9 minutes of getting the call from her office...........amazing! Anyway, last night was very eventful because it seems I was having contractions every 3 minutes for a little over an hour. I thought to myself "I am NOT going into premature labor after everything else". So I sat my butt down and was very still for awhile and they subsided. I honestly think I had just worn myself out between work and home. Dr Moser agreed and said that was probably the case. Anyway, for the good news.......Jude's head grew again!!! He is measuring 24 weeks and 5 days on his head now. His actual head circumference is right on target! That means overall his lil head is if anything only a week behind! The doctor pointed out that regardless his head is growing. She said the ventricle on the left side is even to small to measure now. She said the one on the right still has fluid, but it is going down too. In addition the cerebellum is very noticeable and she can even see the ridges. I had her look at the corpus callosum and she said it is present on both sides. She said the right side is still a little thin, but she expects to see that get better too. She agreed with doctor Graham that we aren't out of the woods but she even went so far to say "this baby looks pretty normal!" NORMAL?????????? NORMAL??????? REALLY???? Anyway, she said if things progress this way then we can even look at a normal delivery...HOORAY!!!!! I didn't want a c section. Anyway, I understand that this does not mean we are out of the woods. Even if Jude progresses it could still mean he has issues after he is born. We won't really know the extent if any problems until he is about two. The point is though he has come a lot further than anyone though he would!!! I am looking forward to the day I can hopefully email Dr Twickler and tell her that Jude beat the odds. At least that would give her one negative case based on the MRI findings, and now one positive case....us! Thus giving people hope! Some people ask me if it's frustrating that the doctor's were wrong. #1 we don't know that for sure yet. Plus #2 I don't believe they were inaccurate because I do believe Jude had a stroke early on. I saw the images myself showing the blood in the brain. Although, I did tell my doctor today that "I believe our technology detecting early issues in pregnancy has surpassed our humanity and what our bodies can compensate for". She said that was a very good point.

PS. Oh she did say "well we will hope things go well like this for the rest of the pregnancy and we can have a normal delivery. Although he is breech!" Of course he is!!!! lol. Anyway, I just hope our positive thoughts and happiness so not get squashed again. Come on baby Jude be our miracle baby! You can do it!!! Oh and the nurse told me I was a "tough lil cookie"....that made me smile :)

Tues

I had a dream last night I was in the operating room about to get the c-section. I didn't want to have one done at all. It scares me to death to have a c-section I would much rather just deliver naturally. I do understand though that compression to Jude's head could cause damage and that wouldn't be good. Anyway, everyone was in the operating room with me?!?! My friend Ginger was giving me the spinal. I was trying to tell her look I love ya but I don't want you giving me a spinal ok? Anyway, I am looking forward to the doctor appt tomorrow. I will update head measurements then.

Monday

My goodness. I have been bussssssssssssssssssy today! So if you haven't heard from me that is why. I did just have the wicked witch of the west come in to get a quote. She was so mean that I could see Sarah snickering in the other room. The lady had to be around 80 and hated Texas, hated our taxes, wanted to move back to her state, etc. etc. Anyway, by the time she left she and I were friends and were discussing Bonnie and Clyde...lol! Sarah thought that was very amusing. Anyway, Jude has been active all weekend. I myself have been a giant roly poly and rolling myself out of my bed seems to now be great amusement to my husband. I honestly feel 36 weeks pregnant not 26 weeks. Anyway, my OB appt this week is 10:30 Wed so please say a little prayer that Jude's head has increased in size. If it has then I am going 100% with the fact this baby is going to be normal, and thus the talk of termination was incorrect. Also, I set an appt with a local pediatrician to visit his office. I am going to talk about when Jude is born and what he needs to be ready for. Thanks everyone for your prayers!

Hey guys

So sorry I haven't written much. I am working by myself today and was yesterday. Sarah is off floating down the river and I bet she is having a blast. I hope she is at least she deserved it and it was for her 30th bday! Anyway, I woke up this morning with the WORST cramp in my calf I have ever felt. I woke up screaming like a banshee and I think Mike was mad at me that it was just a cramp...ha. It was the worst pain I have ever felt though..oh my goodness. My guess is I need more potassium so I was gobbling up banana's this morning. Jude seems to be doing well and is very active today. He is getting bigger and bigger from what I can tell. I am looking forward to seeing if his head increased. Oh I did go back on my ventricumegaly site and noticed I marked his head was 22 weeks and 4 days at the OB. Yet when I went to the level 2 sono it had increased to 23 days and something. So to me that is already progress.
I would go into what happened last night with an ex friend of mine, but we would be here all day. Plus, it's such ridiculous drama it doesn't warrant the strain from typing. Have a good weekend all.

Summer

Well Emily gets out a half day today. Now explain to me why she gets out a half day today, and a half day tomorrow? Could they not just combine the two and let her get out of school today? Makes no sense to me at all. Oh well ........ my cousin is watching her, but she had errands to do to leave on vacation so Mike is hurrying his way through work to go get her. Anyway, I am a bit irritated that I am once again playing the patient game of waiting til our next sonogram. There is really nothing I can do to fast forward time though. As I stated before I am not a patient creature!! I would honestly give my left arm though to know if Jude's head is going to increase or not. I just want more than anything for him to be normal. Of course, I am sure every mother feels that way about their unborn child. Well most mothers anyway with the exception of those that don't want to be pregnant anyway. Don't even get me started on that tangent again though we will be here all day. Like I said before I am encouraged the brain ventricles have decreased in size. From what I have been reading this may not mean anything, but I choose to believe it does. Anyway, back to work. I am trying to get some policies in. Have a good day everyone.

There is an Alien in there!

So last night I am laying in bed and I turn my ipod on for Jude to listen to. This is suppose to help stimulate cortical expansion so I am still playing him music. Well I guess it was a little loud because Jude went CRAZY! I looked at Mike who was brushing his teeth and told him his son was trying to break out. He then laughed and replied, "Whatever I think you are making this stuff up because I never feel him". So he walks over and places his hand on my stomach. Luckily his son decide he was going to really show off. For the ladies that have been preggo before you will know what I am talking about. Jude did that full roll where there are bones that feel like they are about to pop out of your stomach. Mike jumped back and ran to the bathroom with a look of shock on his face. I made fun of him for running away in which he replied, "I thought he was about to do the alien and pop out of your stomach!" So needless to say he has now really felt that there is a baby in there squirming around.
As far as the doctor's go I am on doctor hiatus until 6/11 and I see my OB. We will measure his head again and I am praying it has increased. As long as it keeps increasing and stays less than 14 days behind we should be ok. I have lots of high hopes for Jude and I hope this all works out. Which if he is ok leads into the question of are you irritated that you got a horrid diagnosis. No, not really. Sure it's been the most stressful time of my life, but they were only trying to do their job. So has our technology suprassed life itself? Maybe. Is it possible Jude will still have a negative outcome? Yes. I believe in him though like I said before and I believe he is meant for great things. I am glad I researched this entire situation though and saw Dr Roberts the neurosurgeon. His comments yesterday flashed through my head "if the ventricles go down that means the fluid is gone and something has to fill those gaps so one can only assume it's brain tissue". Here is a pic yesterday of Jude. Do you see his bubble in the amniotic fluid? Emily looked at the pic and said "mommy he looks a little like a goose". I guess he does because you cannot see his skin only the bones.

Update

So as you know we went to "Dr Doom's office" today. First, let me tell you that we took my daughter with us this time. In the car she said, "Mommy do i call him Dr Doom? I mean is he scary?". After giggling I explained that he was a very nice man and it's only that we seem to get bad news from him that's why he gave him the nickname. So I explained that his real name was Dr. Payne. She looked at my very confused and said " Well I am not sure which name is worse". HA HA HA! My child made a funny! Anyway, we actually saw his partner Dr Graham who was the wonderfully nice man that saw myself and my family when they came into town. He confirmed that........... (drum roll)......... Jude's ventricles DO indeed measure normal! He stressed that this does not mean we are in the clear. I basically brushed that off though because the neurosurgeon told us in the vents decrease then there has to be brain tissue filling in the other parts. Although, this lil guy won't give me a complete break because his head is measuring a bit behind. The doctor explained that as long as it stays within a two week delay and doesn't go to a four week delay than that is considered normal. So we are now praying that his head measurements catch up to him. The doctor explained the next scan will be the most important. He also encouraged us to get another MRI because it will show a definitive answer....yeah that's what they told me last time. No more MRI'S! I debated with going back to the perinatalist and I am almost didn't. I am glad I went though today and from here on out I really trust my OB. She got better measurements as well and I think she will be able to watch Jude. I am encouraged and can only pray that he continues to get better. I believe I have a little fighter and I will fight for him too!! Thank you to everyone for your prayers, encouragement, patience, and understanding. It means the world to me.

Ps. The skinny cow skinny dippers are very yum when you are pregnant :)

At home

Today is our big appointment with the perinatalist's office. We go at 3:45 and will have a re-scan of Jude. Jude seemed to be very quiet the last two days, but suddenly has started kicking and moving around. I even felt a little foot on the left side. That was excited, but of course when I called Mike to come feel he retreated further inside and wouldn't show his foot again. It never fails that he likes to play hide and go seek with his dad.

On another note I took the day off work today which I never do! If I have a doctor appointment or something else I normally just work through lunch and then go. I have done my best to preserve my sick time, etc. Today was the exception though!! My head feels like it may explode like a balloon when it's popped...owie! On top of having no energy, and just achy. I have had some more nausea and then girl issues related to pregnancy, but I really feel like I am dealing with just a bad case of sinus issues. I think a lot of people are dealing with them right now. So I am at home today mostly just laying in bed. My hubby must have known I felt really crappy because he stayed home with me. He is pretty sweet I think I will keep him!

I will update later today.