It's obvious I have a lot going on in my life both emotionally and physically right now. Because of that I tend to shy away from other people's life tribulations although I try to still lend moral support. However I have come to the conclusion that not speaking up about specific situations can have negative ramifications on those closest to us. I believe this is true regarding anything in life even the political situations that surround our very world today. Often people don't want conflict so they keep their opinions to themselves and shy away from any type of backlash. From my Facebook you can tell I don't hold back on personal opinions yet I have in specific situations surrounding those close to me I need to speak up. I guess I just had to much on my plate and like I always say, "Not my circus no my monkeys." but in this situation I feel compelled to post something.
I have a couple that is very close to me going through a divorce. It breaks my heart because I love them both so dearly. I have been in a divorce situation and it was very difficult and it took a long time to recover from. I was married to an amazing man who was kind, generous, and made good money. However we had grown apart and he was more like my brother than my husband so I decided to divorce him. It was not mutual he did not want a divorce and it broke my heart seeing him hurt. I received the "look", the whispers, and the judgments from others. Many people made assumptions about the divorce, the money, and the decisions without knowing a thing about what was really going on. The assumptions are what bothered me the most yet I kept my mouth closed and knew in the end everyone would see the truth. Now 12 years later my amazing ex and I have a still fabulous relationship and with Mike we are an amazing triple parenting unit to Emily. I knew it would be this way, I had no doubts. I knew the judgmental remarks we received would become words of praise and they did.
Here is the reality of the world we live in, you are allowed to have your own opinion. However when you take that opinion and spread it to others in a derogatory manner you hurt not only yourself but those around you. Everyone is allowed to have concerns about someone they care for but when you mix those concerns with assumptions then you create chaos. I have had more than one person tell me things about this divorce that flat our aren't true. I could have spoken up but I figured it would just feed the chaos. Generally I simply just ask "Is anything you are feeling or doing going to change the outcome of this situation? No then why worry about something you cannot control."
I choose to just love them both. I choose kindness in general because our world needs more of it. We need less judgement, less gossip, and more love! I am not saying we shouldn't be concerned for others but if we have questions then why not just ask them?? Why not get clarifications before rushing to judgement. I think it's very easy for us humans to look in on someone's life and draw conclusions but taking a mirror out and facing our own demons are so much harder. Also if you think this blog is about you then you need to step back and realize it's about us as a group and not to take offense because we all just need more love in the world. I will leave you with a part of the speech that President Bush gave yesterday here in Dallas, "Too often we judge other groups by their worst examples, while judging ourselves by our best intentions."
How true is that?