Tuesday, July 12, 2016

How we handle questions

Yesterday was an interesting day. We had three incidents where people were asking questions that we couldn't avoid discussing Jude and his passing. I love talking about Jude but I know it can upset people making them feel they intruded on our life by asking questions, but that's far from the truth. The first were people that were picking up our dining room table I sold them. Super sweet couple who were asking where we were moving, why we were moving, etc. I eventually told them about Jude but they took it very well.

The second was a lady at the furniture store. She noticed the relationship between Mike and Emily and asked me if she was my only child. He explained I had a son and left it at that but she asked if he was as handsome as Emily is. I replied yes and then she asked another question and I replied, "I am afraid we lost him three months ago." She looked at me and said, "have you ever asked a question you regretted." I couldn't help but smile and thank her for her response. She then asked me about Jude and I happily told her about his amazing life. She looked at me and made a comment about all the hate in the world and what an amazing story. I then told her, "my son fought a battle everyday of his life but he did it with a smile. There was no anger like what we are seeing in the world just innocence and love. He can teach us all." She started crying and hugged me tight. She was a neat lady. 

The third encounter happened to Emily. We were buying a pillow for her new room and again our family was joking around with each other. The sales associate asked Emily if she was the only child. You have to know Emily, she is quiet. She has also had a difficult time lately with anything that involves public speaking about her brother. She just missed a function that is dear to her heart because of high anxiety about the situation that made her physically ill. I know people don't understand but I will have to rely on faith they will eventually. Anyway I was impressed when Emily replied, "No I have a little brother." The sales associate kept asking questions and I acted like I was looking at something while I listened. I heard Emily explain Jude had passed and the sales associate extended how sorry she was. Emily replied, "Don't be. He brought us lots of smiles and happiness." WHOA! I was proud. 

Emily is about to start talking to her interview/mental management coach and I know she will help her in regards to how to speak about Jude. It's a tough situation but each day gets a little easier for us and I think I am to the point that I enjoy sharing Jude's story. You may see us cry when we talk about him but we like to share Jude. We want to share his legacy. 

1 comment:

Marci Parker said...

Jen, this is beautiful and heart wrenching all at once. Thank you for sharing. When I started reading this, I was scared that the stories would end with heartless responses from mankind but found each to be uplifting. I firmly believe that we (generally speaking here) are not as evil and callous as what we see on the news and social media. Thanks for the shining examples of the good that exists in people - you and your family and the encounters with strangers. Jude's legacy is going strong and getting stronger!