I know you get tired of hearing my voice whenever I call you. I can hear the tension when I announce "Hi this is Jennifer Ortiz..........Jude's mom". I know you are tired of hearing how Jude isn't responding properly since the surgery. I know you are sick of hearing about Jude's nursing issues and I know you get tired of Jude's ever changing medical conditions.
I make these calls and I work so hard for him because to me he is worth it. When all you see is an improperly functioning brain, I see a little boy. Sometimes when I am in a hospital setting and I listen to your words I begin to see Jude how you do. I see how extreme measures are being taken to keep Jude with us. Without the organ damaging seizure medication he is on Jude would probably not be here. This was proven when we had to remove all the seizure medications after the surgery complication. I saw how Jude's body and brain responded. I see how his feet turn in from lack of use, how his skin grows pale from lack of sun and medications. I see the monitors and how they tell us that Jude's body is tired and it just doesn't function like ours does. Yet that hospital sight only lasts a few minutes and then I see my Jude again.
So as annoying as I may be to you... Jude is more important to me. He is my only little boy. So while you see a body that will eventually give out I see a struggle worth fighting for. I treasure those little smiles I get every night when I get home from work. I see the brightest eyes of a child that will forever be young and curious. I see a boy who knows way more than you give him credit for. A child that may not be able to voice his thoughts but can communicate to you if you let him. I see a brave little soul that has fought harder than any adult I know. He has done more in his young life than I will ever accomplish in mine.
I see someone that deserves your attention, someone that deserves your respect, and someone that will care for you if you care for him.
I see a little hero.
Sincerely,
Proud mom to Jude
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