How we feel

In normal Jude style he is a fighter and after a long terrible weekend he is looking better. We were all a bit emotional and exhausted this weekend. At one point Mike just laid in Jude's room taking everything in and didn't emerge for awhile. He finally told me in the car that he was happy Jude was looking better and then at the same time he wasn't happy. He said he doesn't want to spend years watching Jude got through the torture of trying to breathe. That's exactly what that was in the early morning hours.........torture. Watching Jude try to take air in and watching his stats plummet was AWFUL! It was terrible for Jude, it was terrible for us, and it was just a sucky situation. 

The positive part of this is Jude is smiling today and although not back to his normal self he certainly looks better. Mike and I were watching the movie "Impossible" last night. If you haven't seen it it is an amazing story. When the main character was being churned by the sea after the tsunami hit I told Mike "that's how I feel this weekend". Like we are on spin cycle and it won't stop so we can catch a breath. I can only imagine how Jude feels but he manages a smile whenever he can so he is our inspiration to be positive. 

We distract ourselves with the possible move and looking at homes. We are blessed to be able to eat out at lunch a few times a week and we have each other which is what matters. Emily is home safely from camp and Jude seems to be conquering pneumonia (yet again) so we will look at this positive. However ........... sometimes you just want to throw your hands up and shake your head for a few minutes.