Morphine to the rescue!!!!

After I wrote my blog last night Jude was actually doing fairly well. I noticed his oxygen would dip and his heart rate seemed abnormally low at times but overall he seemed very happy! As I had mentioned he looked very tired but he was smiling and comfortable. I kept having to suction him so I set up camp on our couch last night so I could be close to Jude. About midnight Jude started having significant problems. He seemed uncomfortable, his breathing was heavier, and he was having issues keeping his oxygen up. I literally tried everything! I gave him a breathing treatment, CPT, I repositioned him, I suctioned every last mucus plug I could get, and I even gave him Benadryl. Finally about 12:50 it was crisis time! Jude's oxygen was dangerously low, his heart rate was very high, and he was retracting (breathing with his stomach) very hard. Jude was panicking and I felt a bit overwhelmed. He couldn't get in air and I could see the look on his face so I broke out the Morphine for the first time and I just prayed it worked. I put the blue fluid through his line with Emily's help and we waited. Within minutes Jude relaxed, he smiled, and he took a very big breath. His 02 went to 98! His heart rate stayed rather high but at least his o2 level was normal again. When I sat down and evaluated the situation I realized that Jude was in respiratory distress again and I realized this is no longer pneumonia. Jude's lungs are damaged and this is probably his new normal.

Jude never went to sleep.........even after the Morphine. So when the nurse got there at 7am I thanked the nurse and then thanked the Lord I didn't work today and went to sleep until 10. I then called the hospice nurse and explained what happened. She agreed that Jude was in respiratory distress and that I luckily made all the right moves. I have to praise Emily because she was right there with me when I handed out orders for supplies. The nurse also said that I was right and this may be Jude's new normal and figuring out what works for him to help him relax. Tonight Jude got very stressed out about 7pm and my friend Gina witnessed this. I finally had to give him Ativan and he settled down. Now hours later Jude is having oxygen issues again. This seems to be a major issue at night..........I am wondering if that is due to exhaustion through the day???  I have him back up to 8 liters and we are using the suction on a frequent basis. He is still smiling when I sit and talk to him and stroke his hair. I am not quite sure what to hope for anymore for Jude but I know he is very aware he is loved very deeply and cared for very well.